Salam and Hi! 

This is my first blog post. It's really awkward when you're being formal when you're not and blogging aren't supposed to be formal. Anyway, I'm just dumb. I'm frustated w/ my school. My ultimate plan to escape from that jail failed.

Okay, first. People were asking me 'why do you hate that school so much??'

It's not hate... it  is named as dis-like. Would you like it if you're being comfortable going to a Convent school and suddenly transferred to this boarding school in the middle of city that I never heard of? Worse, my hostel doesn't allow me to bring any gadgets or technology here. The students are not that really nice though. TBH, I have cut myself once because I'm stressed out (and crazy). But don't mistook me for suicide attempt, this is just a simple cut with my nail clipper and I must be so crazy to think that it looks pretty. Nope, not crazy but creepy. No wonders no one want to befriend me. LOL . BTW the cut is not deep and it doesn't ache at all ~ Yep, I'm becoming crazy.

I hate it. It's not because of the rules that doesn't allow me to bring gadgets, it's because I can't adapt to the surrounding. The cursing, rude and immatured surrounding, it's all new to me. Not to say I'm all that matured though. And I also hate it when my schoolmate is really narrow minded, calling us Convent students gay, I mean lesbi, whatever. Not to mention being racist though. Do they really thinks Malays are the best , the only right race in the world? Absolutely not.

I'm not following them cause I know they're wrong. I fought with them, supporting other races that doesn't share a blood with me , telling them I never saw any lesbians couple in my old school (which is not a total lie though). They isolated me.

Actually , that is not the main reason why they isolated me, but since I grew up in a total diffrent surrounding, and fluent in English (even though my grammar messed up, not to mention sometimes my brothers are making fun of me because of my pronounciation when I slipped my tongue) , plus I look like an English girl (not being full of myself, but millions told me that.) Then they're starting to say that I doesn't fit them. Ooooh~ not to mention that I have 4D personality =P

My studies dropped down to the core. I've got a warning fro the principle that if I failed again on my tests, he would kick me out from the school.I'm not upset, but disappointed with hs behaviour. He is the one who said the school is excellent while the truth is my old school has a higher rank than them. He should be encouraging us to study harder, not to threat them. And I'm also wanted to say that is my dream to finally free from the school, but nah, I'm not that rude. Remember? I came from a good school --" 

I wanted to fail on my tests purposedly, so I didn't study at all. And guess what? I actually passes all test including the one I'm targeting. Still, I dropped a little in my English, being the best student to the 2nd best student. Whatever. And then I realized something.

If God has not send me to the school, I will forever be blind about the real world. Light needs darkness to be meaningful, for examples look at our favourite singer. Do you think they're have gone through all this easily? (except for Jung sisters and Siwon, I'm still jealous of them) They all had their own darkness in the past, turning them into the lights that shine in people hearts. That is what we called life. And in the pit of darkness, there are lights. That you never noticed because you were blind. Blinded by the darkness. That's why I say I'm not matured earlier, because I have been blinded by the darkness, twice. A man should not fall at the same hole two times, or in my case, a girl. Just accept the people even if they're not perfect, because nobody are. That's all what I got to say, in a few more hours I will heading back to the school, my homeworks are not done, xP. Oh to my readers, I'm sorry because currently I'm really busy, but I promise for triple update next time. Maybe even more that that :)

Anyeong