My Only Comfort

Hey guys ^^

Just feeling blue today since I had to go back to school again. I my last blog post for some comfort and asked some of my friends to give me some energy words. It helped, a bit. Actually I would never have a problem to go back to school (which is partly lying) but recently there is an accident that makes me lose my energy to school.

Actually in my school, my friends have a habit , they love pairing me with some guys. I just don't know why. I have been close with this one guy from my class. (Correction, I have been close with the active librarians in school, and he's one of them) But then, they started to spread the rumours and say we're dating. You might be thinking What's wrong with that? You not even have a boyfriend to worry about, NK but you're totally wrong. My school hates and disallow any of their students dating (don't frown, some of the students, of course, date and broke the rules) and I don't want this to be bigger. Imagine how awkward it is for me everytime I met him. Also, there is the other guy they paired me to, (hint: my crush) *sighs* I don't to be seen as a cheap girl in front of the guys eyes. I even tried to make myself look lesbian.... LOL kidding. I just love being pampered and some of the good girls love to pamper me ^^ What could I say? I'm too cute to reject (self-boasting time)

Back to the real story, one day during ICT lesson that librarian guy sat next to me since his computer isn't working (no, he's not cute, not at all) and the suddently this (sowwy for the language) came and say something like "NK, Don't do anything naughty with him. You guys aren't married yet" I mean WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?? I'M INNOCENT , PURE (self boastig again) AND SHE DARE TO SAY THAT IN FRONT OF MY FACE?? I MEAN, SHE SAID IT LOUD ENOUGH FOR THAT GUY TO HEAR!!! Being utterly shocked I accidentally slapped her. I know she meant a joke but come on, that was too much. She gone mad and then slapped me 4 or 5 times even though I slap her once. 

Being overly frustatetd , I told my friend from other classes, and they comforted me. Then I smiled again. I'm the type who would cry a lot  smile after  few minutes crying . But it hurts, you know , my heart is sensitive, I loved and cared for my friends to be treated like this. I loved my roommates to have them talking and spreading bad words about me, even though I defend them when people are starting to talking bad about them. I loved my brothers so much to hve them ignore me, isolate me, and maybe hate me too. But I tried to understand, maybe because they never have a sister before, maybe they've ll grown up when I was born. I admit that our diffrences is large, I am 13 years younger than my youngest brother, but still, it's not enough to soothe my aching heart.

My classmates are starting to hate me again, saying that I spread the words and make her (the ) look bad. Oh hello please?? The first person to spread bad words and make my school life a hell last year was her. Maybe there are a few more people, but I know she is one of them. I know going back there, I will suffer. It's near the final I mean, I should focus on my study. I just... don't know how anymore. I talked to my favourite english teacher and she agree with me. She said she actually avoided teaching my class because ofthe students.( She only teach moral in my class. She teach English on the first set, and I'm the only girl from the class to be there. I am the top student in English, but my class is the lowest in the grade. Got it?) 

I listened to crazy love, and Jaejoong's part actually giving me comfort. The biggest comfort, I could say. Have I mentioned before that he feels like a father? Whenever I saw him, I feel happy, safe and protected. We also have a lot of similiarities, from the moving shoulder blades to our 4D personality, that's why I loved him a lot. Back to the part , he says 

 Don't listen to those nonsense dear, I trust you more that anyone else, I shout out towards the world

To the songwriter of this song, thank you so much. Also to Jaejoongie appa, thanks too. I heard the HoMin version , but couldn't get more comfort like you did. Your voice are the one who soothe me.

Oh, you guys who managed to hear my rants till now, thank you too. And my readers, I'm still on hiatus , sorrry =(

 

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