It's impossible for me to hate...seriously. I might dislike a lot but I could never ever hate. It's wrong and my heart could just never do it, honestly.

But do you ever just wish you could? I wish that...I feel like I'm a bad person for wishing that. But some people just deserve it!

My cousin hurt me and we used to be so close...almost sisters. But...she made friends...she changed...and she hurt me. She hurt me the worst I've ever been in my life (and that says a lot), she hurt me so much I felt like my heart literally fell from my chest and into my stomach.

Since then I've been dealing with depression and my chest continues to feel empty. I'm not the same. Will I ever be? I've dealt with depression before but this takes the cake. It's the worst I've ever been...

My cousin deserves to be hated but instead I love her. If she came to me right this moment I would probably act like nothing with her...am I foolish?  I'm probably too soft for me own good...

*Sigh*