Ayyyye LOL

You ever had that moment or you know that moment where you're like, all cool and shiet (or at least you think you're all cool) and then one day you see someone and then you're like "Oh, he's swag." because you and your bestfriends friends are going somewhere to enjoy something and then you're like awkward because he's sitting next to you and you don't even know him other than his name and your bestfriend didn't even other to introduce you and then another day you're invited to hang with with your best friend and the same guy is there and then you realise.

"Heeey, he is prettttyyyy chiiiilllll." then you go home and deny everything but then once that small it of acceptance comes in your whole entire world just collaspes on you and you just want it to rebuild your world while your at home but you can't because this piece of just keeps ruining it all then your bestfriend it like "OH HEY, THIS IS (Insert name here). HE PRETTY COOL HUH!?" and then you stare into his eyes with your crooked smile and say a small, "Hi." to him, and he replies with the same small "Hi." like you did. 

And on that same day you meet again at a bowling alley or some, you try and just get a glimps of him, to just look at him and take in his features so you can question "wtf made me like you" but you can't because that would be weird af and then you start bowling and he's third along with you and you want to bowl along with him because it's just what you wanna do, and then after, your side begins to slow down and you're like "GOD DAMN IT" because you can't bowl along side him but you get to watch him in secret while your friends say to you "OMG, YOU'RE SO GAY, FACE IT" When you actually like someone who is of the opposite .

And then when it's the end, you glance behind you to watch him putting on his normal shoes, not knowing that you're watching him. Realising that he wouldn't even glance at you, not even once... But, you accept it and keep your feelings hidden because:

1) You don't even fukin know him.

2) He doesn't even know you.

3) Why would he like someone like you?

You let these things complicate you adn you make it stress you out and you say to yourself "I can't fall for someone at first sight." But...But you realise that you actually did, you only denied it and you didn't let it flow. You tell your bestfriend and she lectures you about it while you text back "I never wanted this to happen," or "I don't even know him!" or "How can I like someone I don't know!?" and "How can I ask him out when I barely know him!?" And so, it crushes you that you don't know him, it crushes you that it happened, it crushes you that you actually, properly like someone because after all that time, you thought you were Aual, Aromantic, or even Gay, and you let it stress you out and you feel like crying and so then you burst into tears and just...Crumbling along with your world.
 

In my 15 years of living, I have never, EVER liked anyone and I'm not joking about it, I never had a crush on anyone because they were just s. I always thought that I may be Aromantic or even Aual because I didn't like anyone and I thought my standards were ing higher than a weed smoker because you are into Kpop and they're hotter than anyone at school and you ing hate the boys at your school because they're an with looks or they're just ING UGLY...Guys, I'm going through some tough right now.

I'm not even sure how to feel about ANYTHING right now and I...I just realised that I like someone that I don't even know. I love his ty jokes because they're the same ty jokes that I make. I love how he's shy because it's like me, I'm shy af when I meet new people. His personality is just....He's so nice and I...*sigh*...

I wish I would stop making this into such a big deal but this is a first time you guys, a first time and it had to be taken away by someone that I've never directly spoken to, someone I've only seen like... 4 times, and...And someone I don't know very well... I wish I did though, but then if I even asked him out would he even say yes to me? I highly doubt that he would because we don't even know each other. His sence in fashion is worse than mine too, but I don't mind it, because I like him. I know it's normal to have a crush on someone, but this was a shock to me, how could I like someone that I didn't even know? I've been stressing about it all day and I told my best friend that I liked someone about an hour ago and I cried whule talking to her. It's...I don't know, I just...I don't even know at this point man, I just want to live my life now without any distracts as I always have but this er had to come outta no where, be hella cute and then ruin my life. I hate it but...It just feels so right...Ya know?...I...I never wanted any of this, but today...Was the day this all happened.

Has this ever happened to you guys? If so, I hope you wouldn't mind telling me how your experience was and what it felt like. You don't have to.
Thank you for taking the time to read this vomit, I really appreciate it.