You know what I find funny? When a guy cheats on a his gf/wife, and the "other woman" or "mistress" who may/may not know about the guy's significant other gets the full blame for it. I mean come on! In some cases, like in the movie "The Other Women" those ladies genuinely had no clue they were having an affair with a married man, yet, even though the wife found out her husband was cheating the first thing she did was, ofc, blame the mistress. NOT her douche bag of a husband who can't keep in and is just a plain a-hole. yup. 

I mean, clearly, and statistically, the guy is 98% most of the time the cheater, yet he doesn't really get affected by any sort of outcome, cos for him it's like "oh well." *moves on* 'life is life, I am free. See ya. BYE!"  *gets away scot free.*

Especially with society's old/current values in different places, especially in a patriarchal society where male dominance pretty much runs the place it is "acceptable" for a guy to cheat on his wife, or play around with people's feelings, but when a female has slept with another guy before marriage or anything on that aspect, they are deemed as a "". Like come on, why are we so double standard? What makes males more "superior" than women? It's the 21st century anyway, and I'm sure we all have the brains and compassion not to be so ignorant nor judgemental to topics exploring these kind of things right? 

Which brings me to the point on why I even bothered typing up this blog, before I lost track and brought out my inner feminist;  but yeah, in other words, I deemed to some people as a "mistress" or someone along that line which to me, sounds incredibly stupid since I'm not seeing anybody, nor would I be caught dead cheating with someone who is obvs taken, much more my friend's ex. Yup. them again, I know, you thought the last blog was the end of it? Same! But nope. 

Not quite. 

To put it on simpler terms, C has been acting I suppose even worse/more childish than usual and started blocking me out on conversations in school and online, besides doing whatever she can to make sure I don't go to group outings, which isn't really a problem since I'm kinda at school atm due to personal stuff and well this.. that isn't affecting me that much in general (yet i'm complaining about it to all of you lol sorry XD) but it's just annoying it keeps popping into my head like, idk everyday?! (brain, kenya not?!) 

But in all honestly, I just don't get it, I mean she's pretty much getting whatever she wants:

1)  L and her are pretty much glued together,  acting like a married couple, not puting any of them in a good light tbh since no one approved on them to begin with, but here we are again, Dumb and Dumber taking a strike back against all odds. lel. 

2) I kinda left my group and began sitting with my other friends, neglecting the other friends that I've sat with for the past 5-8 years already all because I feel uncomfortable and excluded all of the time up there

3) Planned an "end of year school leavers trip- 100% Aera free" right in front of my face.

What else do you want from me C? Gurl, you threw our friendship deep in the ocean for some douche who didn't even think, or look back when he broke up with u online, told you some garbage that he liked me, ruined our friendship and ur trusting him again, as well as channelling your anger on me, who is actually the victim here? Get your priorities and shiet together please! I'm actually tired and done with her crap, and BS and I'm upset too that I can't even enjoy my senior year and letting all these 1 after another petty stuff get to me, all because I somehow, magically attracted every single guy she's ever liked all because of her insecurties? *shakes head* it's sad really. I'm not that great, nor am I having a much better time either. #justsayin'

"One moment, that's all it takes for people to turn their backs against you."

Thank you Vernon darling for reminding me that aha. (Sickness is defs my life story atm.) I'm really disappointed at my friends upstairs, after all we've been through together, it all comes down to this, because one of us always acts vulnerable and victimised that implicates me. It's insulting, it really is, that I'm seen this way, I mean we were like family. I already lost my "husband" (long story), and now I'm losing my "Kid" (C) and everyone else too? After all we've been through, and all the promises I've kept, as well as the never-said apologies I've accepted from all of them, in the end, I'm the one losing out again. It's either that there is something wrong with me, or I just associate myself with people who don't see our friendship the same way, instead label me as something I'm not. 

I know I've said I'm done with this, call me dumb for eventually forgiving people who have hurt me, I don't bare grudges longer than 12 months, but I just want to know why people keep leaving me or hurting me? I mean it's happened ever since primary school, so you would've thought I would have learnt my lesson and avoided those sort of people by now, and I have, yet in the end it's always the unsuspecting, "lost soul" who backs stabs me, after the life out of me. I shouldn't and I won't let that happen anymore, but it frustrates me that no matter how careful I am, situations like this always happens. Do I have too much high expecatations on people? Am I unrealistic? You guys tell me. 

I'm sorry for venting here all the time, but as they say, strangers are always much easier to talk to cos they won't judge as much. 

To my loves who have been following my blogs and writing to me, thank you for your never ending support and comments, they always make me smile. I'm glad that I have a safe haven here. K, cheese is over. 

Aera Out. 

XX