It's been so long, but I still think of him and I still dream of him. I mean, I don't actually see him in my dreams, but I knew that he was there. Like, last night I dreamt that I bought him a ring (lol) and I was outside of, I'm guessing it was, our apartment(?) getting ready of what to say to him. I mean, I knew he would accept it, but I was just standing outside in the hallway in front of our door thinking about how I should act when I present it to him and I just thought a lot about other stuff. But, I don't ever remember actually going inside and givng the ring to him. What's even weirder is that when I woke up, I felt glad I didn't see him... I don't know, even though I tell myself that I hate him for not even trying to hold onto me, I'm still waiting for him... We broke up once before this already, and I went back to him, I wanted to fix us, but he let me go like I meant nothing to him. Even though, I hate him for letting me go so easily, I'm still waiting for him to fight for me because I want to believe that he meant the words he once said to me. I just wish he would be a man and fight for what he wants. I just want to be with my first everything and not regret anything anymore... I hate him so much...