lacklustre days by the lake (without you)

it's been a long time since the sun's disappeared, taehyung muses to himself. days, nights, months, years. taehyung counts the dates with a bitter smile on his face as he wills himself not to recall the feeling of its warm rays caressing his cheeks, or how simple of a luxury it was to see its light dance across the glistening puddles after a spring shower.

taehyung used to run around the sun, jeongguk. jeongguk was the sun, and taehyung, taehyung was the moon, his life based off jeongguk's very existence. after all, without jeongguk, taehyung would be nowhere to be found. they did everything together. where one went, the other followed, and the two of them, they were inseparable.

taehyung and jeongguk liked to spend their time at the lake behind their house whenever they could, to feed stale bread to ducks. at least, taehyung did. jeongguk followed, only because the lake brought most of those boxy smiles that he had grown to love to him, and he couldn't ever say no to that. the ducks enjoyed their presence too, quacking with delight whenever the pair came over, even if taehyung found joy in seeing them scrabble for his leftover bread.

the day jeongguk was taken was the day the sun disappeared. taehyung still goes down to the lake but he is alone. the ducks still quack but much softer. duller.

they say the sun was taken by an evil being, they say his name was death. they say he was cold and dark, unforgiving. they say his fingers were long and spindly like untamed wires. they whisper about him wearing a long black cape with a hood - they whisper about him having no face, and instead, just two gleaming red eyes seemingly able to pierce through any living creature. they talk about how he drifts about but he never leaving any trail. behind. they all know, even without anyone telling them, anyone would know when he was near, for his ice cold heart could chill a person right down to their bones. taehyung knows this. he knows this because he saw him. he saw it happen. he saw death take jeongguk.

jeongguk and taehyung had decided to go down to the lake to wade around in the warm water. it was a bright and sunny afternoon, the sun was shining brightly, the setting was like in a fairytale, like a scene brought right out of taehyung's favourite novel. the lines between reality and fiction were blurred. it was the type of lazy afternoon that you feel at ease with no matter what happens. taehyung and jeongguk skipped across the field of flowers in delight, towards the lake. taehyung kicked off his shoes and stepped into the water. the warm water flooded around his ankles, bringing a tingling sensation all throughout his body. he grinned with delight and splashed the glistening water to where jeongguk was standing.

“jeonggukie, come in!” taehyung had yelled, "the water feels great!", and really, who could say no to that wide grin of his? certainly not jeongguk, as he took off his timberlands, placing them at the edge of the lake, all with a cautious look on his face,  before taehyung waddled closer to him and dragged him in. the two of them began splashing each other, laughing and screaming all the while. the scene, like one out of a fairytale, and before they knew it they had reached the centre of the lake, the deepest part.

“taehyung, we should get back soon, it's really deep down here," jeongguk gasped, only to be greeted by a playful swab from taehyung. "aye, the day's still young! let's stay here a while more, nothing can happen! you're taller than me, aren't you?" taehyung turned around to gather some water into his hands to prepare to splash jeongguk.

the water began churning as he splashed and splashed. bubbles began clouding the clear water. that was when taehyung realised jeongguk’s laughter had stopped. taehyung's splashing immediately came to a halt and the water cleared up. but jeongguk, he was gone.

a wave of panic and fear enveloped taehyung as he screamed jeongguk's name, but there was no response. he immediately dove down towards the bottom of the lake. that was when he realised how far towards the deep part of the lake the two of them had gone, and a feeling of dread slowly set itself uncomfortably into taehyung's heart, a tight feeling in his chest. he couldn't even see the bottom of the lake anymore. all that he saw below him was a sea of inky darkness, as if the lake which he had grown up with and loved so much was mocking him for his mistakes. 

then taehyung spotted jeongguk. his thin frame sinking deeper and deeper, far below the surface of the water. his eyes were closed and his lips, his lips which taehyung knew like the back of his hand, turning a faint blue. at that moment, taehyung suddenly hated the colour blue. taehyung screamed, but there was no one there to hear his cries. after all, he was under the water. he tried to dive in after jeongguk but it was too deep. jeongguk had begun sinking faster than a rock. 

taehyung swam up for a breath of fresh air and dove back down, and that was when he saw him. death. he was clutching onto jeongguk’s body. his long fingers pressed into his flesh with force. he stared deep into taehyung's soul with his gleaming red eyes and with one swoop of his cape, he disappeared into the depths of the darkness. and so did jeongguk.

taehyung screamed and screamed but there was no one around. he swam to the surface and all the way back to the edge of the lake. clutching jeongguk's timberlands in his hands, he began to cry. with each howl and each tear that fell from his face the sun shrank. the sun shrank and shrank until it was the size of a marble. then it disappeared completely.

that day, both the sun and moon were lost.

now as the rain slashes across the window pane, taehyung clutches jeongguk's scarf, his scent engulfing the older in pain, fondness, and longing. he knows that death would take him to jeongguk. so he puts on his slippers and he steps out of the house. the raindrops plop heavily down onto his head, and taehyung trudges down the hill, back down to the lake where he had grown up with as a kid, spent his time at with the sun, experienced and lost life with. taehyung takes his slippers off, and places them at the edge of the lake just as how jeongguk had then. then he steps into the water. it's cold as ice. shivers are sent down taehyung's spine. he walks in deeper and deeper until the water's deep enough to cover his head. his body craves for the air that he needs but his mind suppresses it. jeongguk is his air, he tells himself. for jeongguk, i can do anything he reminds himself. i need to meet jeongguk again, i need to meet jeongguk again. i need to meet jeongguk again. i need. .. to meet jeongguk again.

taehyung's vision begins getting blurry as he drifts down deeper and deeper into the lake. he takes one last look at the earth around him before closing his eyes. then he sees two familiar red lights gleaming back at him. he takes taehyung in his cold clutches and taehyung feels his fingers press into his arm. it's uncomfortable and slightly painful, but the thought of him being one step closer to jeongguk makes up for it.

“come on tae, it's time to go.” death whispers in a raspy voice. he takes taehyung's hand and leads him to a tunnel, and for the first time in a long time, taehyung hears jeongguk’s voice call out to him. taehyung's delighted, and his eyes prickle with fresh tears. it's then that he sees a light at the end of the tunnel. a light! the sun! the sun was back! taehyung runs with excitement towards the light and that's when he feels it again, he feels its warmth once again. taehyung's done it. taehyung's found the sun.

inspired by 'ice dance' by lilico.