It does seem inconsiderate of you to invalidate their relationship and reasoning for killing themselves just because they've never met before. (perhaps it’s bc of your bias against online dating) However, it is definitely extreme of her to say she would end her life because someone else has. And while buying gifts is generous, and it may be just my perspective, but it seems like your friend is buying the merch for her because she believes that will make her happy and possibly stop her suicidal thoughts. It honestly doesn't appear to be a healthy relationship from what you say there. Also, there's nothing wrong with being honest about it; at least you're letting your friend know how you really feel about it since you believe it’s affecting your friendship with her. If you both want to remain friends, you shouldn't just drop your friendship over an issue you can work out. Friends should be able to understand one another, and even if you disagree on something and you're both aware of it then you should be able to at least talk it out and respect each other’s opinions/actions. You and your friend know how you both feel about it, right? And if nothing’s being done beyond talking it out, let it be. You gave your opinion, but ultimately, it’s her life, her decision; you let her know you’re worried. Let your friend make her mistakes and learn from them. And maybe you can see their perspective on the matter and be a bit more understanding. But if it’s clear that your friend is choosing her significant other over you, then I think it would be completely okay to walk away from the friendship. There’s no point in staying friends and wasting your time if she doesn’t value you as much as her girlfriend when you’re just worried about her.

yo is that changmin and sooyoung...
HA that happened to me too and that sounds exactly like them.
tbh you shouldn't worry about them, it really has nothing to do with you. they are their own self and if the decided to screw themselves like that i don't see why you should feel the need to feel guilty or whatever. let them learn from their own mistakes.

Nothing is ever black and white as they say... and it is difficult to answer to this not knowing your whole friendship history (or for instance, how old you two are)... either way that online dating does sound quite toxic... I mean... who knows what might happen in the future, but if you were friends for years and you care about your friend, I wouldn't just drop the friendship... a lot of might happen between friends and well sometimes in the end only friends remain.

I think that relationship is horribly toxic. It's not a healthy thing they have going on and it's driven the friend to a dark place. I also dislike online dating (to me, I'd have to be around to really know you and be genuine friends with you, let alone DATE you), so I may be a bit biased in my view. But I think that if she's going to act that way and turn against her own friend she can physically be with and knows and is with them face-to-face, then she's not much a friend anyway. A real friend wouldn't do that, they would listen to what their friend is saying and they could talk it out. But, like I said, if that's how she's acting then she must not be a real friend. Not only is the the relationship between the girlfriends toxic but the relationship between the friends as well.

I agree to be honest.
I have a close friend online as well, and I'd like to think we're close, but there's a limit to be drawn especially when you've never met them before. That's all I have to say.

What you did, in saying your opinion was good in the sense that you are looking out for that friend.

But right or wrong ( in others opinion), it is your friends money so she can use it the way she wants to. Also maybe she has her reason in doing what she does. Only or not, if a person is attached to someone, the time of knowing each other or being physically present won't be an issue.

Also if she didn't like what you did, she would have told you and not that online friend/gf. But you should not always share your opinions esp if not asked. Even if the intention is good, hearing the same (almost) things could be tiring.

Maybe just say on the background. If you really want to be friends with her, or keep what you used to have as friends, let her make her own mistakes, you already did your part in giving your advice. If she falls help her, if not good for her.

Good luck

I don't I'm in any place to say anything honestly. I know a friend who's been my friend for few years and I know her online. She stayed more than my real friend.
I'm not saying that it's a good thing.
But if I were your friend (that friend you mentioned), I would've stayed with you.
Well, I'm sure you're not like my friends (they just look for me when I am needed).
But spending money on someone you've never met is a little too much.
If she didn't spend money of those merch, she might could've save up to actually meet the person.
and about suicidal, does giving those merch actually helped her? :/ I kinda doubt that...
But yeah, well, I don't really have any rights to say anyhing
Sorry.

I sympathize with you. Your friends should not say that to you.
Have you or the girl was the most important in her life ?She only been dating with that girl for 5 month while you know her more that girl.
You can find love anytime but never for true friend.
Totally annoyed with both of them.

i wont give too much details but to be honest im going through something very similar or maybe even worse. i also wasnt chosen over that person online. at least it certainly seems that way and i am very upset about it. i dont exactly know what to do either. but all i can say is that i will try my best to stop them from doing what isselfish even if they find me annoying or hate me because im only doing this because i love them. if they come back, then thats good. ad in the end of the day if they end up making a big mistake at least i know i did all i could and yeahh.


so i gues the answer is how important this person is to you.

You're a good friend and doing nothing wrong. Your friend, on the other hand, is stuck in a fantasy that their online gf has made for them.
I'm sure a lot of what I'm saying has already been said. Your friend shouldn't be spending money buying kpop stuff for that person since it's really expensive. From what you're saying, it really sounds like she's being used and mooched off of.
This isn't a healthy "relationship". She clearly forgot that it's not real and only role play. Even though it's not real and is only online, from what you have said, it sounds like a mental abusive relationship. I had a friend that went through a relationship where the person would be "suicidal". Being suicidal is not a joke at all and is serious, but there are a lot of sick people out there who are not truely suicidal but say they are/will when they a) don't get their way, b) looking for pity, and c) in order to be in control of the "relationship" which is what happened to my friend. In those types of relationships, the abuser will make it seem like everyone is against them and whoever their gf/bf is and will slowly take control of the relationship after the trust is gained.

If there is a way to somehow do a secret background check on your friend's online partner, you could do that; but in the end, it's sadly up to your friend's choice if they listen to you or not. Just do not give up on her. There may be many times where she will try to fight you and stuff, but never give up being there for her, even if you do need to stop being as friends with her. Just keep checking on her when you can. Your friend needs to wake up, even if she may hate you in the end. If it becomes too bad (especially when your friend said if their online gf does kill herself, they'd follow suit), you may even want to include your friend's parents because they may provide something that you may not be able to.

LittlePanda1717 made really good points.

Online dating, if done right and there is enough love to overcome a load of ty barriers like distance and the 'I haven't REALLY met you?' factor - can actually work. I know a couple who got married after meeting and dating online and they're happy to this day.
But that said, I've been in an online relationship and while the love was strong on my part - it didn't end up working. Also, it takes quite a bit of commitment because you just have the internet to communicate with your significant other.
I wouldn't say that online dating just because of the reason that you don't know that person as well as you would in real life. There's a difference between this and real dating. But I wouldn't be so skeptical as to strike it off completely. Oh well, that's my take.

But imho being in an online relationship which is unhealthy is no different from being in a REAL life relationship that's unhealthy too ahahaha. Where's the difference? Haven't we all heard of stories where a guy or girl spends way too much money on their partner, gets obsessed and loses themselves completely? Imho there's no difference.
Unhealthy relationships aren't good and need to be gotten rid of - so I wouldn't necessarily differentiate between online and real life.



Ah that's my take. :P

This friend needs someone to pull them out of this haze. Yes online dating is okay, but its not exactly the same. I didn't consider my best friend my best friend until i'd known her and talked to her for about a year. But this friend is doing the right thing by trying to her the other friend. This other friend needs to realize that A.) They've known each other 5 months. B.) Online dating is NOT the same as dating irl. C.) Stop buying this person Kpop merch, you hardly know them and they're probably mooching. (Not saying they are but it sounds a lot like it) and D.) Your life does not hang in the balance of an unstable relationship that isn't hardly a relationship. This is a negative relationship and needs to end... Be friends but end it there. So from one caring person to another, slap some sense into this chick and tell them how incredibly dumb their being! Honestly honey get over the poor soul and move on! (that sounds so rude but honestly this is out of hand)

You are doing the right thing man. I mean, you care for this friend but theyre too blind to see that.
If they never met in real life, she is most likely being scammed or something. Or just abusive behavior (or smth forgot it) bc it happened to my sis with her online friend.
just knock some sense into your friend...I can't really think rn sorry but i'll probably add on more later.