Do you ever,

 

 

Do you ever just sit in bed, reflecting your whole day and just find what the you did wrong; how or when did life became this ed up?

 

 

as an author, it's actually a huge burden for me to write and think of chapters and amazing scenes just to please my readers and be able to reach up to their expectations, but if you notice, most of my stories are angst but none of them had tragic endings. It's because I'm confused and lost in the world, i'm in pain, have been stepped on and underestimated too much that it somehow got in me and lowered my confidence down.

 

 

i know many have been reading my stories and many have been subscribing and commenting about how great the flow of my stories, and I am greatful for it, I'm thankful for all the encouraging words and the good remarks, I appreciate it, i really do. But I couldn't help but be insecure whenever I read other people's stories. I feel envious of how amazing they all could write to the point that I sometimes question if my stories are really that good or not.

 

 

for the past few days, I've been struggling to write because I'm always unmotivated. I've been trying to write a good chapter for ya'll but I would always find it not enough, i feel like it so sometimes I just give up, the reason behind why I took longer to update than before, and even when I do, I still feel like it's not enough and I's sometimes feel sad of thinking about how my readers wouldn't like it.

 

 

i honestly have anxiety attacks, I'm having trouble sleeping and sometimes my eyes would just water on its own. Sometimes I would find myself crying even when my day has been nothing but great. I've never cut my wrist nor did any other forms or self harm, but it doesn't mean I've never been tempted to, because I deal with that temptation every single day. Sometimes I would unconciously stare at a sharp object and my mind would immediately be corrupted by such dangerous thoughts and I hated it.

 

 

and the worst part of it all, I don't even know what my problem is.

 

 

it's hard ya'll, but I will be okay :)

I'll just pray like what I do everyday.

i'll be fine :*

so thank you, if you're one of my readers.

thank you.

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ahood_bts #1
plz don't cut youself
take ur time don't care about others
you are not alone we will always support you
don't worry about stupid things
take care for urself
plz get well soon
we will always stay by your side
and plz plz plz plz do not cut urself ♡♡♡♡
HWAITING
JFarmer #2
Please do not cut yourself though. My sister used to do that and now she has scars all over her wrist and legs and stomach, and probably other places, I am not sure. She looks back and realizes how silly it is, and how it was a time she kind of lost control over herself. But those scars are pretty much permanent, and you don't want to have people stare at you or not be able to wear shorts in the summer. There are so many ways to deal with sadness and anger that aren't dangerous. Like meditation, writing it out, listening to calming music, taking deep breaths from your stomach, giving yourself some space to cry or just think.
You need to be responsible about it. Think, is this what your life all leads up to? NO of course not. There is so much you have yet to do. You've got many more years, and many more challenges. This is why you need to be strong.
And understand it's okay to be sad, find ways to deal with that sadness, be somewhat optimistic and move on.

Your not alone :). Now I want you to smile right now! Yes. Right now. Because you can give yourself the gift of smiling, just for the sake of it. :D
JFarmer #3
Please don't give yourself a hard time! You can critique yourself, but make sure you also tell yourself what you are doing right, because you have to be doing at least one thing write.
I know what you mean about writing. But if you don't like what you are writing change it. The thing is you are not the best writer you'll ever be right now. And neither am I. But in order to be better writers in the future we need to practice. Practice makes perfect! Right now it's okay if you make mistakes because that's how you'll get better. It's a process I know but we go on mny journeys in life, and hopefully in the future you will be able to look back at this time with good feelings because you were working hard to become a better writer.

I try not to mope a lot because that never solves anything. I've also noticed that when people are sad they look at things through like a dark tunnel. They can't what's around them and only have a narrow view. If you want to be happy here is the one thing you need to do. Decide to be happy here and now. No conditions. Let yourself smile for the sake of smiling. Life is way too short to spend time worrying over small things or saying we are not perfect. I mean if you were to die tommorow the one thing you would want to know today is that you were happy.

It always seems impossible until it's done. But, I've come to realize that the journey is often sweeter than the success. It's there that I really learn about myself and challenge myself.
mehjik #4
I'm not sure how to help you since I've nvr been like that before
But many times I think about harming myself too but I realised
Even if there are many many things bringing ur day down


There's always a sunshine there for you...if it's night time the moon will reflect the light for you

We may be friends on AFF but that doesn't mean we are just friends who can talk about the stuff we like....if you don't mind, if you feel troubled or so come talk to me
I may not give u great advice but I'll care :)
Life is hard but what keeps us going is our little sunshines (well at least for me)
Stay strong!!
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