Hey guys, It’s me the author of these stories.

….I am so sorry I have no way to even tell you guys how horrible I feel for not updating in over  a year. So much happened and I didn’t even have the decency to update your ll on everything that was happening. I’ve been feeling guilt ridden for not updating in so long a period of time. I came back to make this post and put it in all of my stories so you everyone who reads my stories understands whats been happening and why I’ve been gone for so long.

I, graduated the year I stopped updating. So much happened. I stopped updating around the time that I pretty much lost it. This is a little personal but I feel it be so wrong to not tell you guys why I was absent for so long. I have some problems with anxiety and a fear of driving, of taking responsibility for my education and a job. I was literally having massively bad panic attacks and I was just a total mess for most of my senior year.

I had a lot of horrible run-ins with some horrible people, I had to give up on some people I cared about and thought they cared about me, I had to mourn the loss of people I cared about. I had to keep an eye out for people, I had to keep myself from relapsing because the stress of school, friendship and family where just getting to me on a horrible level. My anxiety of course got worse.

Then I made it worse by following a bunch of people on social media (TUmblr) who basically preached hate against my religion, my skin color and just people like me in general. As someone who has dealt with depression most of my life, with ADHD and severe anxiety this made me fall into a deep spiral of horrible horrible decisions when it came to my body and its health.I won’t go into detail because that could become graphic and I have no interest in that, but point is I was in a horrible place.

Everything either made me upset or burst into a panic attack and it was not good for me. This greatly effected everything I loved doing, I stopped singing, dancing and writing. I felt stressed, overwhelmed, angry, hurt and just bad. So finally after I graduated  I finally spoke to my mother and I got some help through therapy. My therapist helped me prepare for college, driving and also balancing a job in the mix.

I got a lot better by the beginning of my freshman year of college. Also to add onto this mess I got diagnosed with Anemia and it wasn’t being treated for the longest time because I didn’t get tested so I was sluggish, tired and cold constantly on top of all of this. Luckily I no longer have Anemia and and just overall way better than Iw as before.

I grew a lot since my senior year and that is another reason I’ve been gone so long. I’ve been discovering myself and just enjoying myself for a short while. But once again I constantly felt guilt ridden for never updating. I completely understand if you no longer want to read this story or if you want to unsubscribe-just know that your time and comments have really made writing this story worthwhile and you’re appreciated.

Now I will be continuing to write for this fanfic so do not worry if you want to continue reading it you can, but updates will be slow still-though I promise to update more frequently or often. Also thank you ll so much for your lovely comments. I came on here to apologize and explain my absence and I was worried about the comments I would see but you all are so…beyond kind and sweet it’s making me cry. Thank you so much for being so patient. 

I lost a majority of my notes for this story because the computer I used to use crashed on me and destroyed all my files, future chapters and ideas as well as notes. So I luckily have the ending to this fanfic memorized but I’m a bit sketchy on everything else-but I’m hoping to write well and give you guys amazing chapters that you guys honestly deserve.

Thank you, bless you and honestly I am so sorry.