It was a mistake to open that site and click on a certain tag. But there should be an assurance that those pictures won't appear on that hashtag, but they did. 

At first, I just stared, and then when there's more than one posts about it, I just cursed. My eyes got teary, I want to cry out loud, but my parents are within range. They won't understand why I am crying. How my young fragile heart can feel the pain just seeing those posts. How reality can slap me even though no one can determine if it's for April Fools or if it's true.

I want to forget. Nothing can take away the pain, because my ultimate best buddy maknae is nowhere to be found in anywhere. He is the only one who can distract me from the news going around in the net today. 

I don't wanna cry anymore. I don't want to cry for someone who doesn't even know that I exist. 

I want to laugh because... wow, everyone's in a relationship. But that's okay, because I am still free to explore the world. No ties to anyone. No responsibility to anyone but to myself and parents and siblings.

My mind... please always remember that the only one who deserves my tears and love is the one who also love me and who will cry for me.