< 憧れ / GI HANU >

 

< / face 02 > kim minjae [ actor ]

< / prsnlty > 

좋은 courteous, kind, charming, attentive
enigmatic, selfless, bullheaded, credulous 나쁜

the first to say something, the last to admit his feelings.
hides behind smiles and simply won't subject to tears (until you're gone).
a broken piece of sadness trying to put himself together.

 

< / trivias > 

—— SOCCER : hanu was once an avid soccer player, but like some cliché protagonist, he was met with a leg injury that led to ending his future career. the injury actually wasn't too severe, but hanu still refused to continuing playing after that.
—— BAD OMENS : he's a very superstitious person, so don't go around opening umbrella's indoors or smashing mirrors in front of him, please. yeoreum was prone to doing things like this, and there was a time when hanu actually considered "cleansing" her of bad-luck. (note: on the day of yeoreum's death, hanu first believes that he is at fault because he wondered what would happen if they were to get into an accident, and he didn't knock on wood to un-jinx himself)
—— "I'M OKAY" & "EVERYTHING'S FINE" : are just a few things hanu will say to hide under his facade. it is often paired with a weak smile and him rubbing the back of his nape slowly. this usually causes other people to question him again, but hanu responds with a simple "no, really, i'm fine. let's not talk about me. how 'bout you? how are you?"
—— WHEN HE LAUGHS : as in when he's seriously, seriously busting his gut out, he breaks into really bad snorting. hanu can't really help it either because it just makes him laugh even harder.
—— WHEN HE CRIES : he has to leave a room. crying in front of other people is hanu's worst nightmare, and it's not because he's embarrassed. it's because he doesn't like influencing people to cry too, because that's how he feels when people cry in front of him.
—— TOUCHY-FEELY : hanu gets very comfortable around other human beings. he's got the habit of skinshipping and invading personal space without his own acknowledgement; whether it's leaning against you or holding your hand to check body temperatures, hanu's just doing it without much thought... which can be quite a problem around his female friends bc sometimes they get the idea that he's trying to flirt with them.
—— mr. employee : he currently works with food delivery. forgive him if he ever comes by smelling like jjajjangmyeon and fried chicken.
—— HIS FAMILY : his mother is an elementary school teacher, his father is an acountant and his little brother is going into his first year of middle school.
—— IN THE FUTURE, I... : despite already having graduated, hanu still hasn't applied to any colleges, and lacks the idea of what he wants to do as a career. he told his parents that he might just continue working... without schooling. they, of course, aren't too fond of the idea and ask him to at least talk to his friends about it. this was one of many topics hanu talked about with yeoreum... however, now it seems....
—— HEIGHT : hanu is 187cm tall. he used to get asked to play basketball all the time bc of it, but he generally at all sports excluding soccer.
—— LEFTY-LOOSY : almost trivial, but hanu is left-handed.
—— CARPOOLING : after the accident, hanu almost never wants to ride in a car again (and he was ready to try for his driver's before too). he isn't used to public transportation anymore because they used to always get a ride from yeoreum, but he'll try.
—— To be added : . . .

this is the person of hanu's love and affection - but. he never had the guts to tell her. frankly, he planned on taking the secret to his grave because he was more content with being friends with yeoreum than being in a relationship with her. it was simply because yeoreum meant (and still means) the world to him. in short, it's the whole "i don't want to risk ruining our friendship even if it doesn't", thing... but, anyways. the two together, albeit not inseparable, were close enough to understand what it meant to "send me your copy of yesterday's essay" or how important it was to not take selcas on the other's phone "lol hey /a photo pops up on screen. i think im gonna send this to ur bf bye :^ )))" " WTF NO HANU PLS DONT!!!!". they were always on this level of rough-housing playfulness. she'd make a comment about his dumb, lanky arms and he'd retort by roughly pushing her away (w/ a more than obvious grin). and then she'd laugh and try her best to fight him, but that's usually where the dumb, lanky arms would get in the way again. however, their relationship was not always bad jokes and video games with the crew. sometimes it was late night calls on the phone. sometimes large paragraphs written in sections because it wouldn't all fit on kakaotalk. sometimes tears on the long walk home and napkins ready to go. worst of all, sometimes it was running to her house when she didn't pick up on the thirteenth ring. the frantic toggling of the door, and calling for her name when she didn't answer. it was busting into her room with fear in his eyes. blood on the floor. razor in her hand. sometimes their relationship was keeping secrets from one another as much as it was keeping secrets from everybody else... yet. even so. hanu and yeoreum were fine just like that.

at first he thinks of it as a sick joke, so he laughs in distraught, face bruised and lip stitched. then his mother starts to cry and she's telling him she's sorry; that there was nothing they could do. that everyone is fine except--- then his world comes crashing down on him and he weeps his weak little heart for hours and hours, requesting to be left alone. don't let anyone see him. he cries into his hands until the following morning where he leaves with eyes red and swollen, but dry as bone.

< / how are they after "the incident" > 

he's been acting indifferent, almost like it never happened, but in a subtle way that's trying to lift everyone's spirits. now that yeoreum's gone there has to be someone to be some sort of hope... someone to at least make an attempt at keeping everyone together and safe and happy. however, though he's all full of hugs and positive words at the moment, he's doing his best not to burst into tears everyday. he doesn't want to admit to his emotions that he's heavily impacted and suffering just like everyone else. hanu wants to feel like a hero, so he's stupidly shielding away the grief, thinking that if he just pretends, he'll start to feel like he really isn't affected.

< / what were they doing before it happened > 

hanu was messing with the radio. the station wasn't really up to his taste so he was continously switching songs between orange caramel's "catanella" and san-e's "break up dinner". eventually hanu settles for the latter and leans back in his seat (shot-gun!), out-stretching his hands to the person behind him. he shuts his eyes and hums along to the music, failing to get the lyrics right when he sings.. and then suddenly, someone from behind him is asking why they're crying. hanu opens his eyes and looks to see who, only to feel his heart wrench when it's yeoreum who's apologzing.. hanu sits up, ready to ask her what she means by that, but then there's a scream. and then a collison. he feels like he's spinning. the lyric, "웃자 자꾸 왜 울어 정말 (why are you crying? let's smile)" soothingly blares moments before it breaks into a dead silence. hanu reaches his hand out to nothing in particular, his lungs wanting to shout, but they're crushed under the impact of the airbag. when the world finally settles, he feels something dripping down his face. perhaps it was blood. perhaps it was tears. the lights in hanu's head turn too black, too quick to remember.

< / commnts > y u gotta do this to me mum like thIS STORY LINE IS JUST... I'M SO SAD BUT ALSO SUCH A ER FOR THIS IM. ahdjndkakdks oh god ok i didnt want hanu's message to be that... long... im so sorry. although i kinda hope it makes u sad lolol and also hopefully hanu isn't too much of a contradictory.. and i also hope his relationships are okay like is that ok for him to be that friendly with yeoreum??? and then with her bf like??? ur rly free to change it ITS UP TO U. all i gotta say is that i love this story and idec if u dont end up choosing hanu bc i make ways to find biases and i just wanna re e e e e ad

p,s
someone mentioned that this fic reminded them of anohana, and it rly does so i'd like to pretend that yeoreum in menma and hanu is yukiatsu except more... poppo-like i suppose ;v; OK SO BASICALLY YUKIATSU, POPPO AND JINTAN MIXED TOGETHER LOL

 

< / questns > uh why r u so perfect??? ? :^ ))))