My exams are over ;)

It went pretty well so I'm relieved.

But somehow my life seems more stressful as holidays approached. Urgh I have to handle some leadership role and it is so pressurising. Having to lead people older than me is a tough job but just gotta get used to it.

And I'm that who thinks I can juggle so many things during the hols and went to sign up for several activities. Someone slap me please. I've completely forgotten how much I dislike being a people-pleaser and having to socialise with people. I only pick what's best for the project and team.

I just wanna stay at home , read and write stories man.

I have to admit:

When doing projects or groupworks, I don't really give priorities to people just because they are my friends. My focus will always be for the project to be a success and not for a platform for me to socialise and make myself a 'fun' and 'awesome' person to work/play with.

Well, I don't know if this has landed me into trouble but I do feel uncomfortable doing it sometimes. I feel really guilty of having to turn down people's ideas but it really doesn't work. I feel guilty for pressurising people. I feel guilty for progressing too fast. I even feel guilty for doing the most work??

I may sound controlling but i swear I'm not. I'm not a team leader. I'm a team member who likes to support the team's leader in all ways (provided that the leader is someone trustable)

So yeah, this is like another me compared to the past me.

I used to be a people-pleaser, being loud and talkative. Being an attention

But I got tired (Physically, legit. Not figuratively lmao) and decided to be chilled and laid back.

Well of course, since I'm not that hyped up or entertaining, it is harder for me to communicate with people in a friendly manner. I kinda talk to them in a respectful manner which I feel weird sometimes as well.

So yeah, hopefully I can find ways to reduce my stress. I'm pretty sure I would. I hope.

I mean, I don't want to be writing fanfics when I'm in a stressed up condition.

So just ranting here.

I never talk to anyone about my feelings. I'm scared it will ruin my reputation (though I have none to begin with - tht's like everyone's joke)

So yeah, this is a pretty good ranting platform ;)