Dear someone/

I'm writing this as I woke up from a nightmare… LOL

Aham Aham…

I don't know where to start…

Ummmm… One question…

Why??

Why?? I don't understand…

Well, a week ago… we were okay… Then you suddenly disappeared and being cold towards me… Okay Okay… I can understand it… You may be busy…

But why? Why always?

Why you always come close to me only when you have no one? Why? Why you can't be the same you to me when you have everyone?

Hmmmm… I wanna ask too badly… But I just swallow the words as I'm afraid of you'll be mad… Yeah, I know you will no longer need me… But… But why? Why you can be that cruel?

Giving time is difficult… I know… I understand… I was so into you too much… that's why I can know everything about you even with one glance… You have your own life… How you can spend all your time with ph? I know…

But you know… You are treating me unfair… When I said you were using me as a substitute, you denied… Now, you can't… You really used me as a substitute… You are a kind of kid who have to listen to parents… So, you can't go out everytime…

That's why you are always online and stick around to me when your school is closed… But everytime, everytime, when school starts, the same thing repeat after repat… I was always there in every situation for you… But you? All you did was using me to waste boring time… I know…

Okay… Let's see… For example… You once said your friend is making you stress… And then, your solution… We were put into the same situation by you… When it was with me, your soultion… hahahha… How funny… You don't know I felt funny at that time, right?

Why? Cause am I virtual? Cause I can't run to you and scold? Cause you don't have to see my face when you do something to me? Cause I don't exist in your real life? Why? Just give me an explanation…

I'm not complainting… And I'm not blaming too… I can understand… I'm writing stuffs all the time like a fool… Why?? Cause… I miss you a lot… I miss… It's like you are leaving… again…

I said I'll not pull you back if you go but… Im reality, I can't… Yes… I'm depressed… I'm down… When you came asked me I'm okay, I said yes… Cause I'm aware of your choices… That's called "Alikethichin"… I don't want to bother you when you are busy with your real life…

I have to pretend like I'm busy so you will not feel sorry for me and have chats with others you like… You don't have to reply to the converstaion that you have no interest anymore…

Think as I'm just for entertaining when you have no one… I will definitely be boring at that time and you are boring too… Then, we can chat like usual… Right? I want to say nothing more… Just remember me if you need someone… I'll be there…

And let's hang out at chat again when… Aish… It's depressing to write this again over again… Let's meet at chat like old days when your school ends or when you have no one… Cause I'll stay as I don't exist when you have your people… I know that's your choice…

Have fun… You know where to find me… I'm not quitting this time… I'm just trying to cheer myself up… I'm scared to go back to my dark world… Even if you can't with me, I can still watch over you… Please do upload a lot… Okay????

Hahahaha… I know what you are thinking now… Throw away that rubbish thoughts… Life is short… Why so serious? Right? Don't think too much… Your head will explode… You can never understand me…

I bet you will definitely see this blog… If not, that's my bad luck… LOL… Okay… I'm writing this not beacuse I want you back… I just let you know don't forget me… I'm not leaving… I'm just taking back three or more steps… You can find me anytime you like… Peace…

Ahhhh… What I am doing again this time??? Huh???? It's so stupid… Then, I'll just go stupid as I've already become one… Let me admit… I thought your words were real at a time before this semister of your school starts…

Things like I'm special to you… Things like you care for me… Things like you wanna see me everyday… Things like you love me… Things like I'm the only one you can win over… Things like you do gaming because you wanted to support me… Hahahhha… Yeah… I was really stupid… I didn't know you are always like this… You said you are a like kid… It's not true… You are really a sweet girl with the ones whom you are close to…

You really are a caring one… But you have one problem… This is you talk serious things easily and you ignore when someone is talking something serious for them… Eg: I wanna told you something I'm serious with, but you always change the topic and lead the conversation to something you wanna talk about… Don't do it with others… Respect what they are talking… They are not me…

And I just found out that you are using promises and forever things with your friends… That's positive sign… You are doing good… You said you didn't like to use these terms but now, you start using… Good job…

Hahahahahhhaha… I'm witing nonsense in the middle of the night for no one… apk apk apk… But I really want to tell you these things… Your good habits and bad habits… I know you are laughing now… How can I know too well about a virtual person?? Yes Yes Yes… I'm sorry… I just wrote down little things I know…

It was like yesterday when we chatted happily… Or may be I'm the only one who is enjoying the chat… All you said these days are Good night & Sweet dreams… I know something is taking over in your mind since that times…

About last night we chat, yeah… I'm not joking… I'm a jealous type… I always get jealous over small things… Like I campared myself with your friends or with our virtual friends… Hahaha… Stupid me…

If I have to know you are having fun with a boy… Ummmm… I know dating things are complicated… They will not let you alone… writing sweet status on your timeline, talking phone all night, skinship, touch, kiss or more of them, you know, having that… I don't want to know… I'm not cool with them… definitely…

In the same time, I don't want to disturb your life… For a person who really don't exist in your life, you don't have to lose your fun, right? Plus this is your life, anyway… If I tell you about it that night, I know you will laugh… So, I just shut up… Hahahaha…

I know I'm weird… Forgive me… That's because I have only you… I told you many time before… My family is not fun… They are always busy… Being a nerb I am, I have no friend either… You are the first and only one I had… My friend… My kid… My everything… That's why I'm being like this…

I don't need your understanding for it… I'll just go with my theory… Just stay as you like… You are not like me… You have everything… I'm just a piece of jigsaw in your life… Woww… Another cool dialogue I can make… HeeHeeHee

Eek! I'm writing random things from here to there… Pointless… I wanted to tell you many many things… But nothing really comes out when my fingers touch the keyboard…

So, the point is I'll stay away from you… Like you are now starting to have a distance… I'll follow your step… But you still can come and find me if you wanna roleplay as sweet little girl… I'll be there… Aishhhhhh… Why it is too hard??? You cannot make distance with Ei but easily with me… Hahaha… Really, I'm like a fool all time…

Talking about that girl, when you said pagoda is too peaceful, I said i'm not into that kind of places… Let me explain… She killed a baby in her womb… She is a murderer… And you think her sins will be washed away if she goes to pagoda on her birthday?? Hmmm?? I was thinking like this… Going to that kind of places really doesn't help to get peace… The real peace is in your heart… It can only be built by yourself… I didn't explain you as I know you will not be satisfied if I call your friend as a murderer… Okay?

Now, everything's settled… Don't forget me… I'm always waiting…Btw… About your study thing, please focus on it when your exam is drawing to one month… Have fun… But with a limit… Understand?

Okay… Goodbye for now… I'll just keep myself… From group chats… From Facebook… From clan… You don't have to reply if I'm the one who's talking… Like today… You can stay as you like… I'll help you… Don't stress out, my baby… Hahaha… I still can't let go of it… Don't worry… I'll change it… It's used here as I want to decorate my sentence beautiful… LOL

Yah! You bad girl! You always make me cry… Hahahahhahahha… Don't worry… Don't say sorry… I'm Okay… You are lucky enough that I have exam everytime you leave me… I don't have too much time to feel… Kekekke

If I wrongly send a thumb or a video call or missed call, that's why I just check your profile or when you were last online… I'll try there will be no such mistakes… But you know, when you cut your nails, errors can happen… kwi kwi

So… Goodbye… And C ya again… Don't worry… Ans don't look for more… There is no I luv you bar nyar kwi kwa… Hahahahha… I know what I have to do… I'm a genius… maja?

Even you can't promise me anything since the first time we know, I'll promise you… There will be no ph call, no sms, no chat, no status, no tag and no more action from me… I promise… Stay healthy… Don't eat cheap things on road… They are not good for your stomach… Be careful with your food… And don't ywa when you are driving car… It's dangerous…Sleep with blanket and don't take shower too long… They are not good for your leg…

Don't skip school too much as you can't get up morning like past sem… I'll not have a chance to give you morning call… Set alarm carefully… And take shower too… A girl should have a nice smell… kekekke… You dirty lazybum…

Don't watch thriller movies too much… And that crazy ghost stories too… You will have bad dreams… Though I can know you are having nightmares, I'll not send texts in the midnight anymore… Take care of yourself… No.1 should be you… 2 should be you… 3 should be you… Think about others later… You have such a beautiful heart to think for everyone… But they are not thinking that way… They are here to take advantage of you… Don't forget it…

But I know you'll still thinking for them though you are mad at them… That's why I don't want to talk about your friends… It's too obvious they are using you, and you still don't even mad at them… LOL…

Take care of your eyes too… Use glasses and sunglasses… Ara? And when something annoys you, don't shout in your pillow… Your throat will be hurt… I've bought you plushies… Just knock down or kick them… My knuckles have many scares as I like to throw fist to wall whenever I'm stress… Now I change my target to Baymax, my personal health assistance… HeeHeeHee

Last, you don't have to live for someone… I know you love your mother the most but you don't have to live for her… Living for someon is tiring… and like hell, sometimes… You are you… She is she… Do as you like… Your mother will support you always as you are her beloved eldest daughter… You know what I mean, right? Take good care of your parents… They are getting aged before we notice…

Pabo-ah… I think you understand what is happening to me now… I'm just taking time to accept your keeping distance things… I told you to signal me next time you will keep a distance… You listen me well… I got your signal (not toothpaste) kwikwikwi…

I thought it will be easy but I have to take about a week… Haha… It's difficult… But one good thing, I understand how to use feather tool now… Later, I'll learn how to put shadows… Cool, right? Keeping a distance with you is difficultt more than solving a Physics problem… LOL…

Ahh, btw, don't use Law of Reflection anymore… It doesn't work on some cases… If that one's mirror is broken or it has no mercury, light will not reflect… No matter how much light you apply…Physics is science… It doesn't work with gentle things… HeeHeeeHee… I bet you don't understand… Kekeke

Okay Okay… This letter becomes too long… And I have said Bye for three times already… I'll stop… ByeBye… Come find me anytime if you need help… Don't forget me too even if you have no matter with me… I'll transfer after house sergeon and if we run into at somewhere, and if you don't remember me, i'll be mad at u for real… Arasso?

Goodbye, YSL…