I don't really know if anyone reads this. It doesn't really matter because there's no way of effecting my life when you're so far away and I'm here.

At times, I hate my life.

Currently, I have a test week.

Also my horse has to be sold, and I love him very much so I'll miss him. But it's for a good cause. Him. I don't have enough time.

Third, I'm not so sure about my feelings for my boyfriend. I'm unhappy about this because we've been together for a long time. But it just seems he's not interested in me anymore, and I don't really feel anything anymore.

Four, I just got a semi-suicide note from an old aquaintance. We used to be good friends, but something came up. Since this is my blog, I'll tell you my side of the story.

At that time, I had just gotten together with my boyfriend and I was really happy about it. Then my friend told me people were telling weird things about us. He said people were saying I said I was his girlfriend, and that he was very unhappy about that since he already liked a different girl. I was unhappy about this of course. I really wanted to hit those people at that time. I am against cheating in any way. But then someone else who I knew from grade school told me he was acutally the one telling those lies. I was of course really unhappy about this. I sent him a message, but I think he never recieved it. I was too mad to think logically at that time, so I blocked him from my life. I shouldn't have done that, but I was stupid enough to believe that girl because he didn't answer my message.

I should have known better. But I was getting tired of people betraying me and telling stories about me behind my back. At that time, it had happened a lot to me. I used to talk to people at school but I found out they were only lying at me behind my back. So I never talked to them again. I really dislike it when people lie to me like that.. But now I got this message, and I'm really sorry about what happened. I sent him a message about it. I don't want him to commit suicide. That's because I'm egoïstic. At the start of this year, a boy in my year commited suicide. I don't want to go through that again, it was horrible and I still cry about it at times. I don't even want to think about losing someone else, even if I did these horrible things. I know I'm selfish but I don't want people to kill themselves. Death is scary to me. I hate it. For now this'll be my update. Thanks anyone for reading.