I hate you, you lucky s.

No, I don't mean it.

But I had to say it, it's directed to my family.

I want to yell at them so bad, but I can't. It's been so long, so long since I've been keeping it all in. I don't know how many bottles I've had contained the anger, the sadness, the idiocy of it all in, it's all bursting about now though.

My hand hurts so much.

I don't DARE yell at my parents because of my Asianess. So I took it out on the wall.

My friend >> isn't answering her phone, so I have to rant elsewhere.

And what better place than AFF?

I'm putting special treatment cloth in the freezer right now for my fist, siighhh.

They can't accept even ONE 87%, can they? Then they would just bring everything else back up. Then there's my ELA test..that one's probably even worse, you know? I fail. The only good one was my math.

It's not my fault I'm not perfect.

They're parents, they're supposed to know things. They're supposed to know when their child is lying about the cut that supposedly "from a random nail on the fence" rather than cutting herself BECAUSE OF THEM.

They're supposed to know that their child is not getting enough sleep BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS FIGHTING AT NIGHT.

They're supposed to know if that huge cut across her leg wasn't from a random rose thorn, but a hyperly visiou dog.

They're SUPPOSED to KNOW that their eldest daughter is suffering from depression, sleep deprevivement, school responsibilites, injuries, anger issues, and THEM THEMSELVES.

My whole family stresses me out.

There hasn't been ONE DAY where there has been no fights since I came to America to live iwht them.

I wish I was back in China with my besties..

the ones that hug you when you're sad, when you're happy, or for no apparent reason though they're guys. The ones who are SO CLOSE with you, they LITERALLY sleep in the same bed as you when their parents are out on business trip and their parents are close friends.

It's not fair I was dragged here to suffer.

But at least I have you guys :) -very weak hugs with shaky, bruised fists?-