Hi everyone!!!!! It's been a long time. I miss talking to all my asianfanfics friend, but I've been so busy trying to keep up with school. It's my senior year! That means I'll be going to college next year and I'm soooo not ready.

Anyways...I'm in creative writing and we were supposed to write an original, 2-4 page story as an assignment. Well! I didn't really accomplish that. I'm at coming up with names so I just used the most "normal" sounding names from Got7 (Mark, Jackson and Junior) and guess what!! Yeah it turned into a Markson/MarkJin fanfic. The great news is that my teacher will never know! The bad news is my story got reaalllyyy long. 6 pages omg and I still didn't get to develop as much as I'd have liked. 

So we were supposed to peer review each other's stories in the class but I kind of...missed the deadline by a lot and now I don't have anyone to review mineee. So I'm asking a favor. Can y'all please please please review my story. I don't care whether it's harsh or not I just need some reviews. Any advice/pointers/criticism/grammatical corrections is ok by me. So pleaaseee help me out?

Let me know what you think can be fixed, what doesn't make sense, what needs more development and what can be taken out, etc. Thank you!!!

Be reminded that my story is not supposed to be a fanfic and is not as developed as a oneshot should be. I just needed to get this done so I could turn in a draft.

What He Had

His head felt like it was going to explode. The pain was becoming unbearable again. In between his blackouts, flashes of memories tortured him with emotions he didn’t have any more. They and reminded him of things he had, the things he had lost.

“Mark, will…will you go out with me?” the tall, blonde senior stared for a minute at the foreign exchange student in front of him. He always knew the guy liked to hang around him, but he never imagined Jackson would have any feelings for him. Before he could think, his mouth responded first.

“Sure.”

Tears started to pool in his eyes at the image of his old boyfriend. It hurt to remember. It only reminded him of how alone he was now.

For a moment the throbbing in his temples ebbed and he rested his forehead against the cool glass of his coffee table. His breaths came in short pants as he struggled to remain calm. The panic was setting in fast and he was worried that he’d black out for good this time. But would that really be so bad?

Two years had passed since the accident and his heart still ached every time he thought about it. He’d lost everything that day, everything that was worth living for.

He screamed in agony as another wave of pain crashed into him. He collapsed on the floor and curled into himself as light flashed behind his closed eyelids once again.

“We’re very sorry for your loss, Mr. Tuan,” Mark couldn’t respond. He just continued to stare blankly at the cold, metal slab where his boyfriend lay lifeless. Three long years, three long happy years with his boyfriend when suddenly that all came to a crashing halt. His vision blurred as his tears began to fall. He had survived relatively unscathed, but why? Why did Jackson have to die?

As he stood there crying, Mark barely noticed the two men who stood by him. “Mr. Tuan, if you’d like, we can offer you the chance to see him again.”

“You can bring Jackson back?”

“In a manner of speaking, it is possible.”

As the pain began to taper off, Mark vaguely registered a voice speaking to him, one that wasn’t all in his head. Someone was shaking him and as he realized this, his flashback faded.

“Mark. Are you ok? Mark!” his best friend’s voice pulled him back to the present. He tried to blink away his confusion as he squinted up at his intruder, barely noticing that his pain had suddenly receded.

“Junior? What are you doing here?” Seeing Mark in such a dazed state, his childhood friend dragged him up and oh-so-gently deposited him on the couch to lie down.

“I always come see you on the day of your visits, remember?” Junior shuffled around the room trying to restore some order to the mess Mark had created during his episode. He sighed when he entered the kitchen and saw the broken glass strewn across the tiles.

“You mean you come to see whether or not I’ve killed myself yet,” Mark’s muffled voice (dark statement) gave Junior pause. He absorbed himself in playing with the piece of glass in his hands to hide his embarrassment even though Mark was still lying down with his face pressed into the cushions of his couch.

“Yes,” Junior whispered “but only because I care about you Mark.”

“Why bother? No one else does.”

“Mark, you can’t keep doing this. Everyone’s worried about you.” Junior sat on the couch near his friend’s feet. “I’m worried about you.”

No reply from Mark. Instead he continued to lay there, his head turned to the side and his dark brown eyes staring blankly, unseeing.

Junior’s heart ached at seeing what a broken, empty shell his friend had become since Jackson had died. He tried his hardest to help Mark recover since his accident, but nothing could heal the emptiness Junior knew sat in Mark’s heart. But this couldn’t go on forever.

“Mark don’t you think it’s about time you got over him? It’s been a long time. You need to start living your life again. Jackson wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself.”

“How would you know Junior? How could you possibly know what Jackson would want? It’s been two years and he’s gone! Dead! How can I live again without him?” Mark was getting angry again. His mood was so unstable nowadays, especially so when it came to Jackson and Junior was almost always on the receiving end of Mark’s anger.

“Don’t get so angry Mark. You know that you need time —”

Mark couldn’t bear to listen to the same lecture he’d been given over and over again.

“Do you really believe that? Do you really think that time can heal me? It’s been two years Junior and I’m still miserable! Look at me Junior! Look at me and tell me if I’m being healed!”

“You haven’t given yourself the time you need. You’re hurting yourself by clinging to him so stubbornly. He’s gone, Mark! You need to let him go. You need to wake up and realize that there are other people in your life who need you.”

“Who could possibly ever need me? You know as well as I do that my parents disowned me the day they found out about my relationship with Jackson and no one from home, not a single person has talked to me since I left. So who else is there? Jackson was the only one who loved me and without him I have no one. No one! I’m completely alone!” Mark’s voice cracked as his painful rant came to a halt and he stood there panting as he glared across the room at Junior, whose face had gone completely white. At that moment Mark realized Junior had tear tracks staining his face and he stood in shock staring at his friend.

“That’s not true.” Junior croaked. “You’ve always had me.”

Before Mark could say anything, Junior grabbed his coat and fled from the apartment, the tears he had tried so hard to hold back beginning to flow from the corners of his eyes.

Mark could only stand there and stare as he realized the meaning behind his friend’s words. Junior had been there all this time. From the day they first met as children playing in their yards, Junior looking like a mini-clone of his dad and Mark with his tiny curls, to the time Mark had gone on his first date with Jackson, Junior had been there his whole life. Mark realized that through all his ups and downs, Junior had laughed and suffered by his side, forever playing the role of the best friend, all while hiding his feelings from Mark.

Only now did Mark realize that all those moments, all those smiles and knowing looks shared between them meant more to Junior than Mark had ever realized.

His best friend loved him.

And he might’ve loved Junior back if Jackson had never come into the picture. Instead, Mark had chosen Jackson, leaving Junior behind to pick up the pieces of his own broken heart.

He couldn’t believe he’d been so blind!

Junior was right. Mark had always had him, even when Mark began to shut out everyone else in his life. Even after he’d lost Jackson, Junior was right there next to him, helping to pick up his shattered life.

Mark chased after Junior hoping he could catch up to him and apologize. As soon as he raced outside, Mark splashed into a puddle. It was raining again. Pulling up his hood, he squinted through the deluge looking for any sign of his friend.

At the corner of the street, he spotted Junior’s figure teetering on the edge of the sidewalk, waiting to cross the street.

“Junior!” hearing his name Junior spun around to face Mark.

“Mark…” his eyes were red and it was obvious now that he was crying even though the rain hid the tears that flowed down Junior’s flushed cheeks. “I can’t do this anymore Mark. I know you’re sad that Jackson’s gone, but I’m here too damn it!  I waited for so long. I stood by you for so long hoping you’d notice me. Even after you met Jackson I was still there for you!”

“Junior I’m…I’m so sorry. I know I’ve hurt you. Just…just come back inside and we’ll talk.”

“I’m sorry Mark, I can’t. I’m too tired of dealing with your broken heart. I know you’ll never love me like you loved Jackson.”

Through the rain Mark saw that Junior had begun backing up into the street. Junior obviously hadn’t noticed, through his tears, the position he’d put himself in.

Mark lunged forward to pull Junior back onto the sidewalk but before he could reach him, a silver blur knocked into Junior and Mark was forced to watch as his best friend’s lifeless body rolled off the back of the car and came to a stop in the middle of the street.

“No!” Mark pulled Junior’s body to the side and tried in vain to wake up his still friend. His efforts began to slow as he realized Junior was gone.

The only other person who had loved him, was now gone.

The rain fell relentlessly on the pair as Mark stared down at Junior’s body in his arms. The tears fell fast as sobs racked Mark’s body. He clung tightly to his best friend and wished that he was only dreaming. But it was not so.

Junior had tried to give him a second chance at life and Mark threw it all away. Only now did he realize what he’d had and what he could’ve had.

Mark could’ve had a happy life again with Junior.

Now he’d never get the chance.