You have something many suicidal people don't and that is the ability to reason and look back at the happy moments. That is ing precious right there, and that's a great jump start. Even better yet, do something that makes you happy and build more happy memories, make them stronger than your impulse.

Like I said, one thing at a time. If you're thrown things you can't solve at once, sit down, relax think which one is the easiest and begin from there. Once you're done with the easy ones you will have enough motivation to crush the other ones, that's how it works.

Having average grades do not define who you are. Grades and School never had a good system and they never measure your wit. You didn't choose the wrong course on purpose, you just do not know what you want. As for the confidence and talent thing: You're never too late to start. Write down in a list things you can do good, well or fantastically and exploit those talents. Share the talent with people.

It is OK to be angry and sad but do not dwell on it, it'll only hurt you. Your emotions are valid, you are valid and you need to know that. Stop criticizing yourself right now, and look how far you've gotten. You're alive and you're here. If you don't know if you should do something, just do it because then you'll have the experience. Wake up every day and think of something fun and fulfilling to do, it'll brighten up your morning.
Keep letting your feelings go and write them down, put them to paper and let go. No one is listening at home, but people everywhere are reading. You are NOT alone.

You can be happy, just work your way up.

You are pretty.
You are smart in your own way.
It's OK to be insecure at times.
You need to stop thinking ahead and just be present.
If you disappoint the people you love then so be it, just know you tried your best.
You want to be someone else because you do not feel good with yourself, and that has to change.

You can be genuinely happy but it's a long process.
It's hard to love yourself when you're surrounded by negative energy and people that constantly keep on your toes with everything you do and say. Here's a tip: Ignore the ones that don't help and keep close the ones that bring the best out of you.
Hating people that harm you is normal, especially when they have something you don't or something you want.
Unmotivated to live, that's an easy one. Simply because you are NOT living your life, but someone else is.
FYI: being a hypocrite is inevitable for people, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it ever, but do acknowledge you can make mistakes.

Nobody can actually save you, but yourself solely. You have the power to save yourself, so do it.

Anxiety, bipolar disorder, stress, those things are only obstacles that we have to jump or carry on our shoulders but don't get ing ahead of yourself. You have to crawl one step at a time. Even if it's little, it's a step. But remember that Anxiety and any other disorders only make you a stronger person. Get treatment for Anxiety, Bipolar disorder and anything else you have, assuming you haven't already. Talk to someone who knows what you're going through--I don't but people out there have blogs about it and people who overcome it can really help your case.

Stop being who you are not RIGHT THIS SECOND, and be who you want to be. People are living through you and that's making them happy--but they want more. What's a girl to do? Simple. Cut strings.