Right now I'm meant to be studying.  But, tonight made me realise so many things and how lucky I am.  So, I'm going to have a huge ranty post I can look back and and remind myself how lucky I am.  So this will be a reflection more then anything, so pretty boring and cliche but I feel like a rant.  Also please ignore the typos no time for editting ~ 

Lately, I had felt a little down, for several reasons and it made me spiral into thinking I was annoying and clingy so I kinda shut out the world a little.  The main reason for this all was change.  It is scarey when people transition into different stages of life and as you grow older it becomes frequent.  My friends in my various groups had started dating, my uni friends graduated and my friends were working full time. To top it all off, the one thing that normally stays constant in my life, my fandom, was about to change too with my two biases heading into the miltary. Simply put, if I look at the heart of the issue I was kinda felt I was the only one not changing, being forever alone (now happily so) and being the same old person.  

Friendship to me, is one of the most valuable assets someone can have.  As someone that isn't that close to their family or cousins, maybe I put a lot more reliance on it then most.  My mum often told me going to school as a child, she always used to hate how I was so happy running around greeting my friends instead of being calm and collected like others.  I think baby Vic somehow realised that, being with people that love and care for me, unconditionally, and choose to support you even though you aren't family is something to be treasured.  You really have to hang onto them, even though sometimes it is hard, some people are worth it. There is nothing more then that magical feeling of just clicking with someone and being able to talk hours with them and creating memories you both will treasure forever.

However, after catching up with a few friends tonight it reminded me of a few things.  The key to mantaining any friendship is communication and even if you are feeling down or a little sulky you should tell the other person.  It seems so simple but sometimes, it can save a lot of time spent growing mushrooms in corners and sulking.  

But also, by talking to them I realised I'm not the same person.  

I too am moving on to bigger and better things, I'm meeting new people, graduating soon, writing new stories and I actually enjoy my alone time now.  That person, who six years ago used to hide in the corner and cry on the train because she had no friends at uni actually survived her uni degree and met so many amazing new people.  That person three years ago, who cried for weeks when someone had take advantage of my friendship, when it happened again this yearI knew that I was strong enough to accept I don't need those types of people in life.  I guess in the fanfic world its called character developement, and when I look at myself and what I achieved, with my friends old and new by my side and I'm slowly starting to see the person I've always wanted to become.  I never am going to be that perfect daughter my parents wanted me to be but in the end I know that slowly but surely I will achieve things that I set out to achieve.  I only have my lovely friends to thank for that.

So, yeah that was surprisingly deep and meaningful  and cliche but it is nice to get off my chest.  Long story cut short, make sure to tell your friends you love them, tell them about your worries or any issues you have cause in the end they are the people you create memories with.  Thank you to everyone in my life I'm lucky enough to call a friend, <3333