I do however 
Consider more about 
My feelings  
Talking about them 
Is more Like a hobby 

I am either insanely happy
or insanely sad. 
 I am mostly insanely sad.
 Insanely. 

         I am not a positive person. 
        Opposite actually. 
        I am a negative person. 
        It's an extreme negativistic 
        I call myself. 

 There was no 
Human 
Who stayed 
But 
an emotion 
Called 
Depression 
Stayed behind 
 Like a peice of gum 
Or a 
Fabric paint 
A permanent marker 
It stained 

Depression is a word 
But For me. 
Depression is not a word
It's my lifelong companion. 

 Happiness seems nice 
Nice things are achieved 
Through hardship 
I don't like hardship 

I rather be depressed
In a mess 
Putting adjectives 
Like anti 
In to social

It's a long journey 
You and I 
I knew you 
For a long
Long 
Long 
Long 
Time  

Even longer than 
When I found happiness 
Even longer than
When I found greed 
Even longer than 
When I found tears 

Of course like 
Any other relationships
Ups and down 
And Arguments in between 

There was a time 
When happiness 
Came in between us 
 I cheated
Multiple times

Believing in happiness 
I've never found 
When you were 
Right here 
Beside me 
Always 

I tried 
And tried 
And tried 

To get rid of you
Fragmented peices 
Of you 
Still remained

Until you told me 
You will never 
Leave me 
Like others do 

But I swore to you
That day 
I am committed 
To you 
My dearest. 

Happy anniversary ;  depression 
  It's been a long time 
      You and I 

                    I hope you will love me much as I do 

NOTE : this is not a poem.