So it's been 2 weeks since I've been to college and I still haven't gotten used to everything. I'm studying General Arts & Design at college. Most of the people in my class are over 18 and I'm too afraid to make a conversation with them. I'm afraid that they don't want to mix with someone like me. I've made a couple friends who're on the same course as me, but unfortunately they're in a different class to me and their class schedule is different to mine.

However there's one person who makes conversations with me and is pretty nice to me. Let's call him 'C'. He's Thai and surprisingly he too likes K-Pop! Once we learned that we both had similar music interests we chatted quite  a bit a bunch of K-Pop groups that we liked and disliked etc. Apart from him, I find it difficult to talk to others. I've always been shy, but I think this might be the shyest I've ever been in my life.

I go completely mute in class. Seriously, I practically lose my voice. If I try to speak it comes out as a whisper. Even towards my lecturers I struggle to speak, I just nod my head when they tell me something and I whisper to them if I manage to find a voice within me. My anxiety was all over the place today as well. My chest felt so tight and painful and my heart beat was racing like crazy. I believe I was quite close to having a panic attack, but I managed to pull through the day in the end.

My parents are getting a bit annoyed that I'm not talking to people in my class. They think that if I keep my silence up in class I'm going to go through the next 2 years with no friends in my class.

Ah, damn me and my shyness. I need to push myself out there and gain confidence around others.