thinking of you

lonely days, cold and bitter- no frightening- nights

trying to spare my soul, on the verge of insanity

no joy, no sadness,

mask like porcelain- surface seeming perfect and unbreakable, yet fragile like glass

always hidden, no reaction, noone knows,-IMPOSTOR

"i don't care you say, I'm heartless you say, I'm selfish you say, I'm ignorant you say, I don't see you say, I don't give a fu+k you say, I'm stupid you say- maybe you're right...but why do i feel the opposite then?"

I'm like a bee. I'll sting to protect myself but die in the process. 

I'm no wasp, I can't keep on like this.-WANNABE

"I don't like to be touched. But it is a strange dislike. I don't like it, because I crave it too much. I want to be held tight so I won't fall. When people try to hug me, touch my shoulder, i hold my breath. Turn my face. I want to cry."

"I want to get away, yet I crave the presence, but in the end I can't handle the aftermath. I don't wan tto be touched, but I need to be hugged, I just want to vanish. Be an invisible bystander, watching you all in joy, because watching other's joy is all I need. I thought it is all i want, but ... can't I be happy too? I'm naiive and spoiled, I am harm to you. Don't touch me , don't pay attention, I don't want to talk. I hate it, I hate this, i don't want attention while i'm crumbling so ignore me until I'm normal again" -HYPOCRITE

Everyday I'm hoping, sitting, getting more desperate and lonely, but I'm happy for it, it's better than what is to come..... Why am I ignored? shouldn't I be happy? I wanted this... didn't i? No, my failed attemtd still were honest, yet can broken trust never be restored. -JIN KWONLEE