I am so frustrated because this part of the story is just so visual to me so I don't know how to communicate it really through words here like I wish this was written in screenplay format b/c it would be so much better then haha

But yeah I just don't know how to expand it more but I know I should
becuase I don't want it to be super anti-climatic like nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm so disgruntled and frustratedddddddddddd

mega spoilers below if you dont want to see then well i warned whatever 
if you do want to see go for it

i don't even know if I'm putting this here for advice or what but just it's been so long and i wanted to have something out by september and now it's september so if anyone is curious enough and creeps this i guess they can just check it out here

And they do, actually, they do let me use their bathroom... porta potty. Whatever.

Right when we're being released.

So I mean, I kind of just, slip off on my own instead of joining them. Jiyong's never going to let me go again.

And I just- I came to have a good time, I'm going to claim that back.

I deserve it?

...Right?

. ing-

Yes.

My breaths are panting and I'm standing in a dark field and I let my fists (I didn't even noticed I'd curled up) go.

I swallow hard.

I do.

I deserve this one weekend.

I step forward, and then I bring my other foot forward and the ground is hard under my feet. I'm probably stepping forward with more force than necessary but... I have somewhere I want to go. I have a destination I need to reach.

The lights are flashing in the distance and the sound waves are flowing across the field and hitting me and-

And I take one last glance over my shoulder,  they're waiting for me.

I should go back.

I should go back and go to the hotel room and let them lecture me and let them swaddle me and let them handle me with safety gloves and-

I don't want that.

That's not how I want to live.

I turn my head forward and I run.

But I don't feel like I'm running away from something, it's different.

I'm running towards something, and what I don't want just happens to be in the opposite direction.

I'm not running away from making any decisions for and about myself, I'm making the conscious choice to run towards what I want- so I do.

A grin splits my lips and I do, I run forward.

The crowd thickens quickly as I approach the stages and beer tents, food trucks and promoters. My neck is just being whipped around back and forth, back and forth as I crane my head back and quickly look over the crowd trying to find Seungri. I jump up to get a bit of a better view but no luck.

My heart is pounding, from my run, and this exhilaration- excitement.

I'm excited.

That's cool!

Seungri.

I have to get to Seungri.

I want to find my friend.

He needs me too.

How do I get to-

Phone.

Phone.

I hit myself in the head with the base of my palm.

I quickly grab the soldier of some green haired guy walking by, "Excuse me! Hi! Hi. Sorry," I'm breathless, I probably look crazy; that's okay. "Sorry, can I borrow your phone? I need to call my friend. I lost him and I forgot my own phone!" My eyes widen as I realize maybe this sounds fishy, I mean I've heard about people taking people's phones this way so, "I won't steal it or anything!"

Suddenly the phone he was reaching out to me is retracted to his chest and his eyebrows are shooting up. He lets out a small huff of laughter and opens his mouth-

probably to reject me but, I should try and not let that happen

I should just... try again.

I have to keep trying.

That's the key to everything.

Before I really know what I'm doing, I'm untying my shoe and rambling off in one breath, "WOW! I shouldn't have said that and," I grunt and tug my shoe off, hopping on one foot, "here!" I shove my shoe into his free hand.

His eyebrows are so high up honestly I am surprised they are still there at all now.

"Take my shoe as like... interest or... whatever while I used your phone-" I grab the phone he's now holding out to me.

"Collateral!" I snap my fingers. "Collateral," I point at my shoes and give him a thumbs up while my other hand opens the keypad and starts keying in Seungri's familiar number.

He picks up on the first ring.

I cut him off before he can even speak, "Seungri! It's Daesung. Look-"

"Where the are YOU, YOUNG MAN?! Do you know HOW MANY BEERS I had to drink ALONE? Too-"

"I punched him Ri! I punched him!" I burst out, grin on my lips stretching them wide enough I can feel the skin pull, but that's maybe because I'm a bit parched, but still, the joy I feel when I say those words- to someone who I know will actually be proud of me for it, I-

"Punched? PUNCHED? Punched who??"

"I- Jiyong found me and then there were these really nice velvet couches and the tent was made to look like the sky at sunset and then Kyubok was there and I- well I punched him Ri! I punched the snot-nosed piece of in the FACE!" I'm left breathless at the end of my statement and my free hand is wiggling the fingers attached to it out of sheer energy pushing and pulling through them. I feel like I could send lightning bolts into the ground if I vibrated any faster.

"I," there's an audible gulp over the phone. "I'm so proud of you! I mean, I won't lie, I'm pretty bummed out that I wasn't there to laugh at him-"

"I know, I'm sorry."

"No. It's not your fault. It doesn't matter because I am so proud of you. But, but but but, I need you to tell me one thing, Daesung."

"Anything you want."

"Did he cry?"

"So much!"

"YESS! YEAH! This is the best ing day EEEEEVERRRRRRR! Oh my God."

"in' right. Now where can I find your sorry ?"

"Right where you left me, man."

"You waited? For me?"

"Of course."

He answers like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

I quickly hang up and my lips tremble a bit as I stare down at the phone in my palm with a warm force pushing about in my chest but then just give myself a shake and shove the phone back to the guy, "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"No probs," the stranger replies with a smile. "Good luck finding your friend man."

"Thanks!"

And then I'm off.

*** ***

"SEUNGRHYUN! LEE SEUNGHYUN!" I shout as I run towards where I'd left him waiting for me.

"KANG DAESUNG!" he shouts back and starts sprinting towards me and... stuffing his back into his pants. There's a water bottle left where he was standing and- oh, ew. That was probably pissing in public.

"Were you pissing in the middle of the festival?" I snort with laughter as our chests collide and arms squeeze around each other.

I like hugging Seungri.

It's warm and reassuring, and I'd kind of forgotten about hugs like these until he started hugging me.

", you left me, for hours and- holy . You look like a badass." Seungri pulls back and grins, brows furrowing together as he looks me over. "Are you okay, man? I mean, you look like you've been tended to, but you know I will always tend to you. You are my garden. You are my-"

"You're getting weird again, man," I snort out.

"But you love it!" He blows a kiss to me.

I shrug and smile and avoid actually answering. He knows I do.

"Right. So- Wait- where is Jiyong? He wouldn't let you out of his clutches if he found you." He claps a hand down on my shoulder and it's nice and reassuring and- totally was probably touching his less than five minutes.

I swat it away.

"Don't touch me with your pee hands."

He snorts back a laugh and starts reaching out to me trying to touch whatever part of me can. I shrink away and attempt to dodge and avoid but it's impossible. "You're such a nasty asswipe!" I yell over my shoulder as I run into the crowd, followed closely behind by Seungri.

"Your nasty asswipe!" he calls back wiping his hands down my back. Then he jumps on and I'm giving him a piggyback towards the mainstage. "Seriously, how'd you lose Jiyong? You're going to have to teach me. I've been trying for years, it's not really working out."

"Uh... they're waiting for me by the porta-potty for the security tent..."

"They?"

"They're all here."

"Great. Cool. We'll just hide in the mass of thousands of other people. We can get through two more days of this, right?"

"We can try."

"Always try, and then try again. That's the motto."