Hello everyone!~ I don't know if you can still recognize me, cant blame ya'll, its been ages. But I'm still alive and kickin. like an energetic panda (i know quite contradicting as a descrip. 

becoz pandas are naturally LazieS. shoutout to my panda stuff toy which needs a seeious cleaning asap: BUKNOY WE'LL GET THROUGH IT. I'LL MAKE YOU WHITE AS SNOW JUST HANG ON THERE LIL BUDDY)

Anyways. I would like to apologize first if this writing is uncomprehensible. I'm only typing it via phone. I would just like to rant about the happenings which happened to me last night that could be the reason of me not waking up today, still breathing. but thanks God im still alive. I was so happy yesterday. I even told my mom that: "OH YAS MOM I'LL BE LAYING HERE ALL DAY LIKE A BOSS BECOZ I AINT GOT ANY ASSIGNMENTS " I was so... ecstatic with the thought that I will celebrating my Sundaynight for the first time in a long time since my college life had started. For a college student, assignment-free Sundays are god-sent from heaven and once in a blue moon opportunity.  I'm always left alone at home during nights becoz its only me and mom living tgt. To cut it short, I was singing in ny head giddily while preparing for  my cats' dinner, when I heard a flickering, dreadful sound of wings. And there, I saw A FREAKENING COCKROACH FLATTERING ITS WINGS FEELING LIKE A BUTTERFLY. I hurriedly hid inside my mosquito net (which we built for the purpose; as a roach shield.) Ever since I was a child I have a cockcroach phobia (even by typing its name makes me wanaa.. god help me) I was sweating all over. I felt nausea, I felt uncomfortable, I felt like dying. I havent wash my face covered with bb cream yet (which it should be washed or else it will clog your pores), I ahvent brush my teeth yet (which should be coz i have this periodontitis. a gum disease) and our room was wrecked. It wasnt still contented. It flew everywhere. uo up it goes tonthe light bulb and down down it goes ti me. and gawd how i hate the sound of its wings. Its like watching your own nightmare came to life. its like watching a 5d monster in a playstation became so freakin tangible. He was flying everywhere like he knew im scared as fudge and wanted to enter my mosquito net and scare me to death. sometimes i think roach have minds too. they know im alone and scared so they clung to my weakness. And the fact that it was raining outside like as in 'It's Raining Cats and Dogs'. The thunder and lightning made my heart jumped; suicide from my chest. The lightning flashed closely dangerously to me and I almost experience an electrical blackout/brownout due to it.

Gosh. I really hate those feelings. I was so happy, and its not an everyday feeling I got to feel but becoz of that one incident. IT RUINED ME. You might be thinking, "ERR its just an insect", "Everyone has a bigger problem than you", "Such a child"  (PABEBE kung sa Filipino xD) BUT I really felt so helpless that time so alone, like the world was seemed against me. Not only by this incident, I have lots of basis and experiences I can say that I'm the most jinx person. When I think about something negative it happens. like 70% of the time. Ive read from Google that its Law of Atttaction. You have to think positively, act positively and live positively for the good things come running to you.

But why? Whenever I try; whenever I think to be postive, this jinx wont just leave me away? WHY WAEYO T^T

I really hope tho I wont encounter or experience this dreadful feelings again. or later. when im alone again during nights. 

WOSH. I KNOW VERY LONG. SORRYYY

P.S.: IS THIS A DIARY. OR BIOGRAPHY OF MY LIFE JINX BY THE ROACH-- WAIT WHATS THE WORD AGAIN-- 

DONT ASK ME I DONT WANNA KNOW.

KBYE. until nxt time~~ WISH ME LUCK AND POSITIVE VIBES, GUISE T*T