Right now... I hate the world... Especially my parents. I really hate them. God some people must think I'm some heartless , if I think of my parents like that. I love them at times, but most of the time I bottling a whole lot of hate for them that I never express.

I feel like I'm being mocked by them. If you've been following my twitter (@Ifnt_TaeYoung) or my instagram (@ifnt_taeyoung) you can see that I've been expressing how tired I am of restricting my appearance to suit others taste in style. I've been dying my hair bright blonde which you can see photos of on my twitter and instagram and I've been doing goth again after such a long time of not dressing in the style.

I'm happy with bright blonde hair, even if it doesn't suit my skin tone that much, I'm having so much fun experimenting with different colours. I really miss dressing as a goth and I've been practicing my makeup skills for going back to it. Now my parents are saying all sots of that's bringing me down.

Ever since I reconnected with my childhood friend Arin (whom I talked about in a previous blog post) I've become really sensitive to what my parents say about looking like a boy and goths. Since Arin is a goth and identifies as a boy.

My parents talks of goths as they aren't people, normal people. There's nothing wrong with being a goth, i you think about it technically, goths just appreciate th darker side to life. It's a fashion style that suits rock music. My mum would say that I look like a freak and she would threaten me that she'll refuse to go out in public with me. She'll also try to guilt trick me and say that she keeps having sleepless nights because of me. Today she commented at me saying that the next time I go to the hairdressers the woman will refuse to cut my hair cause she would be 'too shocked'. My mum is also commenting on how I would look like a boy if I went to get my hair cut shorter. I really hate my hair and I don't care if I look like a boy. If I decide to have long hair, I'll wear a ing wig if I have to!

My dad as usual is a joker. He jokes about goths and stuff. Even if it's little things, to me it builds up to something big. I don't forget things my parents say to me.

I feel like crying and screaming majority of the time. They don't realise how ing upset  I get by their words.

I think I'll message Arin in a bit and ask for his advise. I think he'll be able to understand me the most. Since we're very similar with interests and style.