I've always had this complex about my skin, I absaloutly hate it. For me it's too dark and I want my skin pale. I mean really pale, so it can be easier for me to actually fully go out and experiment with the gothic or emo fashion and all of it's subcultures.

Cause of my ethnic origion is very mixed my skin is quite tanned.... I believe people call it olive toned skin??? I'm not too sure. I've developed this hatred for my skin probably since I was 9 or 10. That was when I came to England and people noticed how I wasn't fully white nor fully black. I suffered as a victim of racism for many years and yeah...

I'm getting older now and I'm finally pushing the boundaries between me and my mum. She always moan at me for wearing 'lots' of makeup. To be honest I'm not wearing that much. In my opinion I'm not wearing enough. I really want to start experimenting more with my appearance, no matter what my mum says, cause I'm going to start college soon and I want to look good. Mostly for myself to feel at ease, I don't really care what others around me think if I start dressing gothic or emo or in a similar style. I've been doing mild gothic eye and lip makeup on myself since I was probably 12 or 13. It has always bugged me that I haven't been able to do the pale face contrasting makeup and I would like to start.

I'm not too sure how I should do it though. Does anyone know of any skin whitening beauty products like creams etc that I can get in the UK? I think I might also try using a shade or two lighter bb creams and powder than what I normally use to achieve that paler skin tone.