23 July 2015

Zenpencils is a wonderful series of comics that transforms inspirational quotes into resonating art. I have previously linked some of Gavin's comics here and I will share his latest update with you today too. 

To be honest, this particular one, although inspirational, is also quite painful. That is because the main character is Me too. I regret not continuing my creative writings - blaming the work obligations so I have a salary. I can also feel my brain become juice and vegetable when I mindlessly scroll through tumblr, facebook and twitter. I watch tv shows and neglect my readings, despite that tower of novels sitting next to my bed.

And so, I cried as I read this latest zenpencils comic.

I want this to be me too.

Maybe this was meant to be. Earlier in the morning I had randomly played an old song that I have earmarked to inspire some writing to one of my old stories. As a result from listening to it on repeat for a while, I felt that old fanfic stir back inside me and I was pulled back into that world.

Quitting, an slice-of-life AU featuring Onew and Taemin, is one of my first real fanfics I have ever written. It is also unfinished. I began writing because I was on the edges of depression and despair. I had begun my Masters degree, a research program, that I felt like I was not ready for. I wanted to quit. (I graduated from this Masters degree last year and I have a part time job because of it. I am so glad that I did not quit.)

Now come to 2015 and it may be Fate that is bringing me back to this AU and to bring out its second half. The story, at its current version, ends with such despair that the only way is towards hope and reconciliation. Like my current situation in life. I had just come back from a fantastic fieldwork trip and it filled me with starlight. 

I want this to be true for Quitting too.

I want to be the main character in the zenpencils comic too.