I feel like I should let all these out by writing blogs and stuff. I wasn't able to share my feelings vocally because my close friends aren't sones.

I don't know how I've became attached to snsd. I don't know how to detach myself from them. 

Right now, I'm really frustrated because I couldn't move on from the 09/30 thingy. I think it's because I'm on vacation from school for 4 months that I can't help myself but to think about them. I am curious if they're still talking to each other, if they're in good terms and most of all I AM CURIOUS OF WHAT REALLY HAPPENED. I think all of us, sones, are. 

I feel like truth would set me free from this fanheartbreak. Like knowing the truth will be the way that'll lead us to accepting the truth that they are now 8 in the group. Jess is my ultimate bias and I could never blame her for anything that happened (same for snsd). 

I've been reading articles, opinions, theories of others. I want to believe Oniontaker's theory that this is caused by a misunderstanding. that this is neither jess nor the other eight members' fault. 

I want to move on so that I could support both sides. I want to support the other members' comeback. Of course, I also want to support Jessica's business, her activities and her marriage (if she and Tyler are engaged).

I want to let go of these feelings. I don't want to be hurt, confused, or lost because of this. 

And moving on and letting go would only be possible if I would know the truth.