[ I'm typing this in my phone so it's kinda messed up]

I've been a SONE for almost 3 years and I could say that I became attached to them. SNSD is the first k-pop grou- no, SNSD is the first celebrity that I truly idolized. Watching them cheers me up. Listening to their music, makes me delighted. With their presence through the screens, I am able to forget my problems for a while.

Jessica Jung is my first ultimate bias (yes she is until now). When I first listened to their songs, I loved that unique voice of hers. It is the reason why I became interested in SNSD. But that's not the reason why I love them. I loved how they care about each other, about how they treat each other as family and about how they love each other. Their bond is what I loved the most about them.

But now, after the September 30 thingy (sorry I couldn't say it directly), I feel so lost and confused. After hearing the news, I cried myself to sleep for a week. I couldn't even look at the OT9 posters in my room. I couldn't watch their videos. I couldn't listen to their music. I was really devastated. I hoped that the other members would leave SM and build their own agency or company or smth. I know it's selfish of me to think of that. I wished that they could do what B.A.P and Block B did.

Until now, I'm still foolishly hoping for her to come back in SNSD. It's been 9 months, yes I know but I can't move on. But I'm not hoping for her to come back to SNSD as a main vocalist. I want her to come back home to SNSD as a family member.