Personal Rant.....

  I've been feeling down for the past few days, no it's not the weakness I feel while fasting but like emotionally down. I'm gonna be heading for university in a month and a half...and I've been feeling anxious and stressed out (I haven't had my periods for a few months and even had two doctor's appointments about it)..... also my birthday is coming up soon and I've been thinking about how to celebrate it and which friends I should invite....that's the problem I don't think I have good friends...I mean I think I'm drifting apart from everyone....that was the problem with me all my school life...I was always the odd one out and everyone else had personal groups and sometimes I use to be part of one and then with another group....they all made plans with me and they use to always plan things last minute if they wanted me to be part of it....I don't think I'm a bad person and I've always been nice and sweet to everyone. 

I've been feeling this way because my friends that came back from uni weren't that excited in meeting me and I've always been left out in conversation....and I get to know about everyone else's little hangouts throught instagram and snapchat and it hurts you know....also about my "best friend" of 15 years...I'm still hurt that I feel she doesn't make as much as effort as I do in keeping our friendship....like last year I was one of the last people to find out she got accepted into university and when the time I spoke to her before that she told me that she doesn't know what she wants to do and the next thing I find out is that she is going to uni studying journalism..Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one holding on to my end of the string.

And also my cousins....like when I went for a wedding this journey...everyone was like making us feel distant in the first few days, my sister and I were always left in the corner but then it got better in the last few days...and they even had a whastsapp group and I even asked so many people to put me and my sister in it and no one did...I mean come on we hardly meet and this is how they treat us....

 

I know everyone is busy and all but it hurts how my friends can give five minutes and share things with other people....why can't they share it with me and spend five minutes with me. Am I being too selfish and asking too much....thinking like this I've been crying myself to sleep in the past few days....

-X-

Neighbourhood96

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taelighted #1
You just haven't met the right kind of friends just yet. I know how you feel because I've felt this way many times, too, but don't cry. Don't be sad. It's just not worth it. If they don't want to share stuff, let them. If they don't want to talk, that's fine too. You don't have to prove yourself to them and you don't own them anything. You are the most important in your life, and if you feel bad about them/being with them/about talking to them, just don't. If they are real friends - they'll come round. If not, it just means they weren't what you thought they were.
mymredz #2
are u Malaysian?
MidnightOnyx #3
I've had similar situations to this and the hardest and I mean the HARDEST thing for me to learn/accept, is that not all relationships/friendships stay the same or even last. It took me years to realize this and I still have a hard time sometimes. Once you can acknowledge it, it does become a bit easier. It's hard to imagine that person you've been so close to, not being an active part of your life, believe me I know. But you take those memories and bits and pieces and use those, no one can take that away. Doesn't mean anything is wrong, just that you're growing apart. And like other posters have said, maybe it's not healthy and if so, time apart may be the best thing for you, you don't need the negativity.
aerinikolai #4
Okay, I know I'm a random stranger from here, I don't even know how we became friends here on AFF, but I want you to know I totally understand where you're at and what you're feeling. Sometimes, we come to a point where things happen the way we don't expect them to be, and the people we're so used to be close to become distant people. I suffered with that too and it felt really lonely. I hope you realize that your happiness is not based on your friends, but it's a choice you make for yourself. I dunno, but I hope you feel bettee soon and find really good friends.
hellobts1003 #5
I can feel you.. :( I can feel that you were really sad when I read this... I wish I could there with you and comfort you...
sunflowersx #6
It's okay. I do feel like that a little when I am with my best friend. But hey, you don't need to feel insecure. :) maybe they are not the true friends for you, so search for one when you go to uni! Although I have never been to uni, but I do know how it feels when you are going to a new school. I am going to say that everything will eventually get better. Just prove them wrong you know. Prove them that you can be fine without them. And you are going to be fine!

But have you tried talking to them about this matter? Like have you ever had heart-to-heart talk with your friends and ever told them that you felt like you are ignored by them? Maybe if you haven't, try talking to them! Maybe they thought that you didn't like communicating? O.o
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