Gender Roles in the K-Pop Fanfics and Fandom (and Society in General)

(Copied from my fic 'I'm Here to Bash Your OC inthe head or something idon't even know i'm so tired just gimme a break)

BEEP BEEP THE SERIOUS TRUCK IS COMING WATCH OUT

Also language warning, so don't kill me in the comments plis 


So, recently I stumbled across this:

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And I was like 'I think AFF needs this too'.

Because so often, in descriptions, authors are just like: 

Hana Mei Sarang was not a normal girly popular queenka. She was a tomboy, and didn't like anything girly. :)

And some authors think that the checklist for a strong female character is like this:

  • hates everything girly
  • cold towards everyone
  • tomboy
  • physically strong
  • hates boys/doesn't want to be in a relationship
  • unpopular
  • sometimes nerdy

When it's actually something like this:

  • doesn't depend on a guy for survival
  • not simply there for appeal or to be a love interest
  • has a personality

The first checklist can be pretty ist. If you're saying that an OC can only be an SFC (strong female character) when she's a tomboy or doesn't exhibit traditionally feminine traits, then you're saying that an SFC has to have masculine traits. You're saying that someone with feminine traits can't be strong.

Conversely, if you're saying that an OC can only be an SFC if she hates men- well, misandry much?

Does everyone here know what the Bechdel test is? No? Well, here's Wikipedia's explanation (tbh never trust Wikipedia... it will stab u in the back and eat ur ribs):

The Bechdel test (/ˈbɛkdəl/ bek-dəl) is a short test that is used as a way "to call attention to gender inequality",[1] and to assert that women are under-represented in films due to ism.

  1. The movie has to have at least two women in it, 
  2. who talk to each other,
  3. about something besides a man.

So, I know that the test isn't the best thing to 'assert that women are under-represented', and it's also mainly used for movies. But... go to the originalcharacter tag, and scroll through. A few fanfics don't pass the test, eh? 

Of course, if the fanfic only has two people in it, or if it's just a pointless fluffy oneshot, or both genders only talk about the other gender or is in a situation whealre it has no girls at all (e.g. it focuses on a boy group), then it doesn't apply. But what about those long, typical OC fanfics with straight couples? The ones you typically see on the 'popular' page?

I recently read an OC fanfic (*cue the song 'For the First Time in Forever*) and yes, it did have two or three women. Yes, they did talk to each other. Yes, they talked about something other than a man.

But you know what?

There were maybe fifteen men in the fanfic, compared to the two or three women.

The guys spoke constantly with each other. The girls maybe spoke for, like, half a chapter? I don't know.

And the men always, consistently, routinely, regularly (thank you, thesaurus.com) spoke about normal or important things with each other. About fighting, power, politics, all that intelligent stuff. And when the women weren't talking about men, they were talking about... shopping.

 

Speaking of men in OC fanfics, here's a comic that describes their situation well. Here's a link (language warning dun murder me) (I do not own this plis don't destroy me with the lasers of copyright): http://www.soulmix.com/post/5924

You know what this comic says?

'Because boys are bullied for being weak. Because we think showing weakness is girly. Because we think a guy who is a is sad. Because we think a man who has a negative body image is unmanly. Because we think boys with girly interests are shameful. Because we think men who dress like women are jokes. Because we think men hurt by women are pathetic. Because even girls insult guys for being 'sissy'. Because most insults towards men attack their masculinity. Because it's shameful for men to be weak. Because it's shameful for men to be weak 'like women'. Because the same ism that hurts women also hurts men.'

I know you're typically good with this, K-Pop fandom. I know that when Suho, Kyuhyun, Minho and Changmin dress up as girls and Sungjongie and Ren look pretty and do their girl dances and Suju dresses up as Elsa, most of you will be sweet and accepting. But when I scroll down in the comments- especially in situations such as Sungjong's and Ren's, where it's not supposed to be a big, hilarious spectacle- you know what I see?

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This one might seem nice, but what's so wrong with being gay? You sound so confident. 'Of course he's not!' How would you know? 

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But suddenly, I regained my faith in humanity.

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Ahh, yes, sometimes I love people...

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Yay for the commenters, who tactfully explain why gay is not an insult.

...And then there are the less tactful comments.

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Seriously, guys? Maybe a little less 'I know he is not a gay because gay is bad and oppa is not bad >:('. And learn a little tact.

The point of all this? As the comic said, 'most insults towards men attack their masculinity'. Guys aren't allowed to be feminine because, again, gender roles. And if they are feminine, people are quick to label them as 'gay', as if being gay is a bad thing. As if exhibiting feminine traits is a bad thing. 

You've read a lot of OC fics, right? The guys in most OC fics are y; manly; strong. The guys who are weak are usually the villains or the cowards. The jokes of the story. As the muscular, emotionless, cool oppa walks around being praised, the 'girlier' guys are made fun of.

Readers, we are a new generation. LGBTQ support and defying gender roles; that's all being brought into the light by our generation. LGBTQ youth are coming out. 

Readers that are children or teenagers: we are the generation that will change everything. We are the generation that is educating our parents on ism and LGBTQ matters. We will soon- in maybe ten, fifteen years- be shaping the world for our children. Teaching our children. Forming this generation, and the next generation, and the next, and the next. Maybe your parents are telling you to 'act more ladylike' or 'act more like a man', but you know- we know- that that's not the best thing to say. It's not your parents' fault. It's just the time period they grew up in. Make sure that in the time period that our children grow up in, 99 percent of films pass the Bechdel test; that being LGBTQ is normal; that nobody is judged. 

Readers that are entering adulthood or are in the midst of adulthood: maybe you have different values from us. Again, the whole time period thing. Maybe you grew up believing that being gay was wrong and that gender roles were perfectly fine. So you know that bigotry is taught. 
Maybe you're thinking of having children soon. Maybe you have children. Make sure that you're not teaching them the wrong things. You have a baby daughter? Don't just buy her Barbies and paint her room pink, and bring her to little tea parties. Ask her what she wants. Sure, maybe she wants Barbies and pink and tea parties, but maybe she likes ducks and blue overalls and Pee-Wee soccer and big red monster trucks.

Maybe you all believe that we live in a time when gender roles are gone. Nope. Watch a few children's shows. I went on a kids' channel the other day. All the girls had pink things and wore pretty little skirts. And LGBTQ youth are still widely misrepresented.

You know birthday balloons? Yeah, still always pink for girls and blue for boys.

This is probably normal to your parents and grandparents. We know it's not. We know that the adults that make children's shows are teaching the next generation their values. And we are the ones that will put a stop to it. “Children must be taught how to think, not what to think," said Margaret Mead.

'But RiverFawn!' you say. 'If you're going to teach them that being LGBTQ is good and normal and that pink isn't a strict girl colour and blue isn't a strict boy colour, you're still teaching them what to think!'

Not so. Prompt your children.

 

"Daddy, that boy was kissing a boy!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"But daddy, gay people are bad!"

"Why do you think gay people are bad?"

"Because... I don't know. Lilly said so."

 

I'm going to leave you with a quote by Bryant McGill:

“Every generation is inculcated in traditions of prejudice which are encouraged as normal, natural and healthy.” 

And then, one by Jasmine Guiness:

"Be kind, don't judge, and have respect for others. If we can all do this, the world would be a better place. The point is to teach this to the next generation."

END

 

Comments

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ChaoticDarkAngel
#1
This was actually a well thought out blog rather than just mindless ranting on the topic.

For Gender Roles: I also find it disappointing when some people force others to behave a certain way just because of their gender. When I was a little girl, I never liked playing with dolls or things that were considered 'girl toys'. My mother kept on buying them but my grandmother saw I clearly didn't have an interest in those so she told her 'You can't coax her into liking dolls. If she doesn't like them, she just doesn't like them' and that was that.

I actually give props to people like Key, Sungjong etc who aren't afraid to dress in skirts or clothes that are considered 'feminine' it shows they don't give a care what others think ^^ That's an attractive personality.

The quote at the end is very true.

I know it's human nature to judge others, I do it myself at times of course. But, get to know the person at least before pre judging. That's what many people now a days should think about.
aillis
#2
oh my goD THIS BLOG IS WONDERFUL.
i had a great time reading this and i agree with everything on here!
it's gross when people refer to gay people as "a gay" like that commenter.
the people who commented on that yt video were disgusting smh.
also a lot of oppa's fangirls are against lgbt+ eek. at least most of the ones i've
encountered on yt. smh

ANYWAY. this blogpost is great and i really do agree with everything here! most of
all the fanfics that include SFC are really dumb since theyre considered SFCs just because
theyre cold to everyone my GOD.

and yes yes yes to the 'pink for girls' and 'blue for boys' GENDER STEREOTYPES PEOPLE.

ur awesome ;u;
XenexianAG
#3
YES JUST EVERY YES TO THIS BLOG POST. I freaking hate it so much when I see this tbh. Like bloody hell leave them alone oh my god. It's like what happens when Key does the girl group dances like no he isn't gay, he's just awesome like how cool is it that he can move his body like that and dance literally everything he sees? That's SKILL not gay. And besides if Key is gay then you know what, who cares what his uality is if he's happy? I couldn't care less bc I'll still love him and it doesn't make him any less awesome. These people need to grow some brain cells.
As for the SFC bit, dear lord I completely agree. PREACH.