Okay, this is my first blog and yeah, hope you can stick to me until the end of this blog? yeah? Thanks!

Okay, this happened for almost a year now and I don't care about anymore. I just want to see how much I hated this guy. I thought I didn't hate him because I was being too kind and I am now thinking how stupid I was. Even asking for a closure just to feel not awkward whenever he's around. He's my classmate for over 7 years. and of course, he confessed to me and showed interest to me at the end of school year 2010-2011, I think. 

the next school year, he was not my classmate but still, he pleases me in those times. But I was too dumb and shy to even talk to him. BUT I LIKED HIM THAT TIME! VERY MUCH! Then the next school year, he became my classmate BUT nothing still happened, he's awkward to me, and I was too, to him. Because I still couldn't see myself having a boyfriend, even until now that I've graduated. Going back, nothing happened but I still held my feelings for him, I held onto that thinking that he wouldn't fall for somebody else.

Well I guess I went too easy on him just cause I was too ing shy. And because we're awkward, he had a crush on one of my classmates. ON ONE OF MY ING CLASSMATES. WTH. . I... I can't believe that he and SHE could do that since ALL OF MY CLASSMATES KNEW that we like each other. Argh, like , it's like they didn't have any respect towards me, and their friends. whatever, just cause we didn't like the same things. urgh. 

So this jerk showed interest to her, like giving gifts in valentines, their friends teasing them, and I was like, Yeah dumb you gays. DIE. you're insensitive and everything. Can't you see that I'm here and want to feel numb so I could take in the sweet s you two are doing and the sweet nothing their friends tell them. I mean, okay, I already accepted that they like each other but then please, give me a little respect you jerk. I'm still moving on, you pieces of . Be sensitive, okay?

Well maybe they thought that it was over, and it's fine to me because I'm quiet about that. but really, I was not. I'm dying inside. even my classmates were giving me pity glances, I returned those back to them because I was hurt like . I'm really quiet about that issue so they never knew about my side, especially his and her friends. well, some of my friends knew that, but I opened that up the next school year. I thought I never am going to cry about that but when I was telling them what I felt, I cried, a little. So friends being friends, they told me to ask him for a closure. because I have many thoughts and questions in my mind. like what if we became lovers. what did I do wrong that made him fall out of love for me. 

and so I did. Me and my friend recorded the things and questions I had so that he could know ALL of the things he did to me. yeah and because I was a coward that time that i know when I'm explaning, I'll just cry and accept his apology. So we just recorded it so I could ask ALl of the questions I had in mind. But when we met, you know, I became blank when we talked about it. he just told me that his love for me WAS true. I remembered I nodded at that. but then I don't know... that's all I can remember. i can't remember that he told me the reason why he fell out of love for me. I'm not even sure if he apologized to me.

and then just this year, I realized that he unfriended me in facebook. and that caused this hatred I had for him. Like who the hell are you to unfriend... well, it just break me like , IT INSULTED ME, really. I mean, WHY DID HE ING DO THAT?! Well I guess, he unfriended me when we're not yet having a closure. but unfriending me just means that I WAS THE ONE WHO HURT HIM, or I just feel like that. because why would he unfriend me, I mean, HE DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO UNFRIEND ME!! In fact, I should be unfriending him, right? Because he was the one who loved someone else while I'm still holding onto the fact that he still had his eyes for me. I'm not a psycho so how would I ing know that he doesn't like me anymore?! He didn't even tell me that he fell out of love or , even if I already told him right from the start to not be afraid to tell me if he fell out of love because I was kind, and would forgive him no matter what. I just can't stand the possibility that he was the one who got angry at me. FOR WHAT?! I did nothing to him! Literally! We did nothing! even hold hands, but then he was chatting me and saying 'I love you' in facebook and then he'll unfriend me as if I'm at fault here! HE'S THE ONE WHO LOVED SOMEBODY ELSE! He left me hanging and felt like stupid thinking that he still liked me because he was not telling me anything!

Do you think he has the right to get mad at me? Or whatever. 

Please do comment and yeah, don't worry, I'm not really rude like this. I'm just a little annoyed at what happened. yeah. Thanks for reading this!