Hey ^^ .
Do Not Say I Didn't Warn You !
This blog is gonna be insanely random !
why ?
Because i will basically pour out all my emotions for the past few days .
But first , let me share a bunch of beneficial links for interested writers ~~
This one had me cracking up ~~ i like learning in that way ~ with humor/sarcasm implemented into it .
Especially the quotes ~
Especially " Pity the reader "
http://blog.pickcrew.com/5-weak-words-to-avoid/
http://blog.pickcrew.com/take-draft-good-great-editing-tips/
Another site ~
http://www.spwickstrom.com/said/
http://www.spwickstrom.com/look/
Yet another !
http://www.words-to-use.com/words/flowers-bouquets/
And finally ~
http://www.momswhothink.com/reading/list-of-adverbs.html
Do tell me what you think and if you like it or not ~~
Scratch that !! you have to enjoy it ! xD it's so cool !
Anyways .. let's move on to my daily doze of whining ^^
" You can't get rid of him "
Remember SNL 5ShoG ?
If you watched it , you will know what i implied ~
So ~ .. the thing is
I feel i have been slapped quite multiple times , (expectations - wise) in such a short span of time And i don't just mean here !
To the point i finally reached the limit of nonchalance .
There has been this quote in a twitter account called chillvibes ?
It says , " At this point , i don't even care anymore , whatever happens happens , i'm just going with the flow "
That's how i feel now .
You guys may think it's not a big deal , but it is !
Let me explain what having high " Expectations " brings about .
When you get so excited for something you just can't stay still , when you keep replaying different scenarios of how things would end happily ( the way you imagined it to be ) you prepare everything , you wait , you count days , minutes and seconds until that day , everything goes smooth at first , then suddenly gets harshly crushed !
That's what happens next , you feel your heart sinking.. for a mere second !
A ing second , nonetheless it stabs you right where it hurts !
This mere second is capable of making you drown in tears instantly !
I don't know if i'm supposed to feel grateful that i'm finally free , that i finally Do not care , do not trust , do not expect too much Because that's a good thing .
However , to know that i have come to this point by hurting way too many times because of my stupid uncontrollable expectation , is obviously rather sad .
You know what else is sad ?
Let me take you in a short and quick journey .
Today , when i got home from college ,with my dad driving next to me .
I caught a glimpse of the gate keeper / night-watch of our neighbors ( The villa next to us ) .
I could swear He doesn't move an inch from his spot , his spot on the pavement sitting all day long , (yea in the sun and everything) .
Turning to my dad , i asked him " Does he always sit like this ? "
My dad was checking the windows so we could get out of the car ( safety from theft is a priority ! ) ,
He sighed saying "the man doesn't have a .."
I interrupted him " a wife ? "
My dad nodded adding " Not only that , he seems to not have a room to live in "
Can you imagine this ?
To say i was flabbergasted would be an understatement .
I averted my eyes to the lone old man sitting there , his right hand supporting his face .
I couldn't believe it and so i asked my dad if he was kidding which turned out to be no .
" Where does he sleep then ?! " I hastily asked making my dad uneasy , he didn't know much about that .
Thoughts tornado ed in my head . ( Do not tell me there's no such word. )
How must he feel ?
No wife , consequently no kids , add on ( if he really doesn't have a place to stay ) And if that's not the case , then i highly assume our neighbors order him to look out for their house all day long ?
But that's just plain stupid , selfish and heartless !
You know the account in twitter " faith in humanity " ?
Faith in humanity my !
I don't even know how i managed to suppress the sudden urge to shed tears .
Nowadays , i don't think a day could pass without me shedding a tear or two recalling certain memories .
This wrong , i know , however , i don't know how to stop doing it .
I easily find myself getting drowned in the memory lane , recalling good moments that are of no relevance now .
Although the people i've shared those memories with are still in my life , our (chemistry ?) is not the same anymore .
As a result , when i made my way in , i didn't feel like eating anymore ( Trust me , the day i have college , i transform into a hungry Tiger ! maybe even monster ~ ) .
Ps : I'm a person that thinks of food as sacred ~ .
But i'm not over-weight xD thankfully ~
After some hours , my stomach growled pleading to be fed , however , I wasn't actually hungry , you what i mean ?
I didn't feel like eating At ALL !
I didn't crave anything , not even my common favorite food .
That has never happened to me before .
Hopefully , I would crave my instant noodles later ~
Sighs *
Any ways !
Have you guys heard 4minute cold rain ?
It's so cool ~ ever since i heard it , it has been on repeat ~
When i asked one of my friends , she said she liked it too and would like to hear it on rainy days ~
we Then started talking about the rain , and how it comforts it when feeling down .
Then she took me off guard .
She asked " Is something bothering you , since you have been listening to it nonstop ? "
I had my lips parted at her clever conclusion .
You may think it's not but it is .. in a way .
Relatively , since i didn't notice it myself .
That day , i wasn't in a bad mood or anything .
However , it seems there's more to it .
It seems , ( maybe ) i have been convincing myself of it ( That i'm not in a bad mood ) , whilst deep inside my real mood did a pretty damn job hiding itself , from me !!
Strong feelings linger , they don't wash away in a day and night , that's what i realized .
This leads us to a new topic .
Mood swings !
Let us discuss : it's speed , it's intensity and it's length .
For me , my mood swings are fast thereby short-lived ( usually of course , we never generalize ! )
And pretty much intense ~ .
you ??
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