The weather seems bright – it’s always bright. And Mark totally doesn’t like nice weather. He likes when it’s raining. He yawned as he pushed the door to the hall and the first thing that he saw was Jackson. Or Jackson is surrounded by girls. He got that big smile across his face.

Mark hates Jackson’s smile.

Mark scoffed and walked towards his locker, preparing things for his first class in the morning; English. He likes English and he likes poets. The main reason that he likes English is the poets. He can learn all poets from all around the world and most of all he likes to make his own poet. He likes beautiful words with a deep meaning in it.

Poets described him so well.

“I wanna save everyone

from pain

depression

loneliness

and heartache

but how can I do that

if I even can’t save

myself? {l.d}”

“Good morning!”

Mark glared at the latter who is leaning against the locker way to comfortably with grin spreads across his face. He just snorted as he closed the locker – way too loud because it made Jackson startled. He could feel Jackson is staring at him confusedly but he just shrugged it off and quickly walked away.

Jackson was staring at Mark’s back as Mark turns around and walked away but then something clicked in his mind – he doesn’t want to be left behind again. He wants to start this. He wanted Mark to know what he’s up to and why he did this. He doesn’t want Mark to leave him behind again or he leaves Mark behind.

“Hey, Mark! Wait!” Jackson shouted as he catches the latter which is few meters in front of him.

“What the do you want from me?” Mark hissed as Jackson finally grabbed his wrist. His anger is rising and so does his heartbeat and that mixed into one.

“The day where I told you that I wanted to fix you, I really meant it. I’m not joking,” Jackson started to explain as he stares into the latter’s eyes.

Mark stares at him almost blankly. His mind is processing Jackson’s words and something in his heart feels weird yet so warm. Jackson’s grips around his wrist loosened and he felt that Jackson’s hand now is holding his hand. He stares down at their hands – Jackson’s big hand is holding his.

“So, you did cut yourself yesterday,” the latter muttered as he scanned through Mark’s milky arm. He pulls Mark’s hand closer so that he can looks at Mark’s arm closely and clearly.

Few seconds of silence and Jackson brushes his thumb over Mark’s scar. Mark hitched, almost pulled his hand harshly from Jackson but Jackson tightened his grip on Mark’s hand – not too tight because he knows that’ll hurt Mark.

“You’re hurting yourself too much,” Jackson sighed.

“Not much as my feelings hurts me,” Mark replied. “You never know what’s going on with me or how my mind ed me up. You won’t even know so why would you bother to fix me?”

“Because I feel like I’m attached to you and I don’t want to see these scars around your body,” Jackson replied – they’re staring into each other’s eyes and he could see the fears in Mark’s dark brown orbs. “I want to embrace you in my life, bring you into the bright side of the world, bring you out from those darkness especially out of your room, taking you out to see the world and make you see that not all things can be solved just by hurting ourselves.”

Tears started to brims in his eyes – his legs and his hands are shaking, his body becomes weak and everything in his body seems has stopped after Jackson finished his words. The sudden confession got him stuck. The sudden confession puts him in deep confusion. The sudden confession gives him new feelings and mostly, the sudden confession gets him attached to the latter.

“I guess you’re right about me being an angel,” Jackson stated as he chuckles. “Or maybe I’m just too attached to you and turned myself to an angel, just for you.”

Attached.

Mark isn’t sure he heard it right of the word attached from Jackson. And mostly, he isn’t sure he heard it right about Jackson feels attached to him. He isn’t sure about everything that Jackson has said. He is afraid that he might get too attached, he is afraid that he might fall too deep and he is afraid that Jackson cheated on him when he’s already fallen too deep; says that what he has said before, it’s all lies.

Seeing no response from Mark, Jackson breathed out, “Don’t let thoughts control over your mind.”

“I—“

“You’re afraid that what I said might be lies?” Jackson asks as Mark trying to find the right word to say.

“I— I guess so,” Mark nodded slowly and Jackson finally loosened his grip around his wrist. Mark lifted up his head in response. “I— I’m just afraid that I might get too attached and fall too deep. I’m afraid that I might be a clingy to you. I’m afraid that you might find me boring. I’m afraid that you might leave me behind one day and I’m afraid that—“

Mark become tensed as he realized Jackson already had his arms wraps around his waist – Jackson’s fingers slowly massaging behind of his neck; indirectly telling him not to overthink about those and in the same time telling him everything’s going to be alright.

“There’s no need to be afraid of, Mark,” Jackson breathed out. “As long as I’m here, right next to you, there’s no need to be afraid of. The main reason why I approached you is because I like you and I really wanted to show you the real meaning of happiness. I wanted to see your smile, watch you drown in happiness and mostly, I don’t want to see you hurt yourself. I don’t want to see those scars in your arms and all over your body. You don’t deserve to become like this, you need to be happy and you deserves to be happy.”

The dark red-haired clenches his fist as his body finally relaxed in Jackson’s embrace. He feels safer but his mind says don’t get too attached – but he doesn’t care. He tries not to follow his mind but instead he tries to follow his heart.

And he did.

He could hear the thumps of Jackson’s heart when he finally wrapped his arms around Jackson and he couldn’t care less about the students who are watching them with their disgusted talks. At least, he feels safer and slowly he thinks that he has found his real home; even though he feels the hesitation still thick in him. 

cries guys I really love to read your comments; you guys are so wonderful, really ;;