During recess, just when Mark opened his locker, he was surprised by a small bag plastic with tons of plaster in it – mostly kids plasters. Mark just shrugged it off without thinking much who was the one who placed it in his locker. He closed the locker after he grabbed his stuffs and was about to turn around when he finally sensed Jackson’s presence beside him; arms-crossed with a grin across his face.

He hates the grin across Jackson’s face.

“Do you like the plasters that I gave you?” Jackson asked, still grinning.

About Jackson wants to help him, it’s still leaving Mark with a damn big question mark in his head even he wanted to shrugs it off but weirdly he just couldn’t. And he hated himself for thinking about the guy named Jackson and his helping heart. He hates the helps word. He doesn’t anything to cure himself. He doesn’t want to cure himself. He likes the way he lives. He likes the way he cuts himself.

He’s satisfied with his life.

But out of those ty people, there’s this guy, Jackson, who just gave his hand to help him fix himself. He glanced at the guy beside him who is staring at his side face; eyes turns dark and there’s something that Mark couldn’t recognize – the feeling in his heart and the things he wanted to voice it out loud.

“Do you like living in this situation?” Jackson suddenly asked, letting go the other question that Mark didn’t answer. Mark could feel that Jackson’s eyes bore into him.

Mark was stunned for a moment – processing what Jackson has asked him. To be honest, in his entire life, no one has asks him whether he likes the way he lives or not. And yes, that’s mean Jackson was the first person; the first guy who asked him whether he likes the way he lives. Other people, who have been closed to him, who has been living in his life before this, who loved him when he was in his middle year of school; including his parents, never asks him how’s going on with his life. But Mark didn’t take it as a serious case, he never complains – and that obviously because he loves people, he loves making people happy when they were around him and he even asked people, almost every time, what’s  going on with them or how do they feel – he never grew tired of it.

But there’s Jackson, the guy who’s trying really hard to enter in his miserable life and in his ed up mind. He probably really wants to fix me, Mark thought. Meanwhile his other part, which is obviously his ed up mind says don’t trust people who acts kindly towards him because most of the people are fakers and backstabbers.

And at the end, that kind of person will leaves you.

Before he could react, Jackson grabbed his wrist and drags him to the corner of the hall; which the location is really quiet and students rarely walks over there. Mark stands still in front of Jackson – trying to control his unsteady heartbeat after what happened and it obviously failed; he starts sweating. He was the first guy, Mark thought again but after that he realized he shouldn’t feel like that. He should control himself. And so, he pulls his wrist off from Jackson’s grip; almost harshly and that made Jackson flinched.

Jackson stares at him with his dark brown orbs – surprisingly there’s no anger in his eyes and his expression is also surprisingly calm and soft. Mark stared back with anger through his eyes before he loses it.

His stares are strong.

“Do you…” Jackson clears his throat. “Need a hug, perhaps?” he asked, earning a question look from Mark.

“For your information, I don’t need any,” Mark exclaimed. “And I never want one.”

“One hug and we’re over for today,” Jackson said softly – which weirdly made Mark’s hands trembles in response as if he wanted to wraps his arms around Jackson. But there’s his mind; telling him to restrain himself.

And he did.

Mark puts his hands in the pocket and turned away, ready to leave Jackson behind for the second time of the day but Jackson is way more faster than him – he grabbed Mark’s arm which made Mark flinched and stumbled on his feet.

And he finally realized that he has his face buried in Jackson’s shoulder, Jackson’s right arm wraps tightly around him and his other hand is Mark’s hair.

Jackson’s warmth spreads all over his body like a virus and Mark grips on Jackson’s uniform tightly without he noticing – which made Jackson smile of satisfied in response.

“How do you feel?” Jackson asked – his lips and his breath ghosting beside Mark’s ear and Mark shut his eyes.

“Empty…” Mark muttered slowly.

“It was empty but now it’s filling with warmth and cares,” Jackson said as he chuckles. “Is that actually what you wanted to answer?”

Mark didn’t bother to answers him but instead he shuts his eyes tightly and took a deep breath – which he haven’t does it for a long time. After few minutes, his grips on Jackson’s uniform loosened but he stays still with his face buries in Jackson’s shoulder for a while.

“You are so annoying,” Mark mutters as he backs away, leaving Jackson’s warmth to its place – leaving him in coldness.

“What?” Jackson frowned as he stares at the latter, who is trying to restrain himself not to take a step forward to him.

“Annoying,” Mark said, clearly. “You are so annoying. Who the hell do you think you are? An angel?” Mark scoffed and rolls his eyes.

“I—“

“I’ve to go.”

“But there’s another cl—“

“It’s not like my presence is needed in the class nor in this school,” Mark replied with a tight voice. “My room is safer than being here.”

“With all the stuffs that can make you cut yourself?”

“Obviously,” Mark smirks as he glances on his arms. “That makes me happy.”

Jackson sighed, “Till then.”

He glanced at Mark before he left the hall – leaving Mark all alone with his loneliness.

Mark watches him until he’s gone from his sight. After few minutes of battling with his feelings, Mark finally drags his feet towards his locker – he needed to go back home. This isn’t his place. He doesn’t belong outside from his room. His room is safer than here; with stuffs that can make him relief.

He needed that.

And so, he headed back home with another ton of mixed feelings in his chest. Except this one included Jackson in it. He couldn’t bear the pain, the feelings and the confusion.

He needs to release the pains – especially the one which included Jackson.

The confusion.

I need some virtual group hug; you guys really rocks ;;