When the servant Jin and I had reached the door to Chu Hua’s private quarters, I found myself in yet another unexpected dilemma: Naturally the servant needed to know, what my maid’s name was so that he could go and fetch her and – of course – I didn’t know. Hoping that he wouldn’t see right through it, I lied, claiming that the girl had only recently been assigned to me and I hadn’t gotten her name down just yet. The lie made me look both arrogant and ignorant and I slightly regretted saying it, but what choice did I have.

The servant did know my – well, Chu Hua’s – name however, so he said that he would simply inquire about my maid’s whereabouts at the maid chambers. Jin had just turned to leave me standing alone by Chu Hua’s quarters, when I remembered that there was still an aggressive dog inside that I needed to deal with. I wasn’t sure which would raise more suspicion: Me being scared of ‘my’ own dog or me spending the entire time waiting for my maid in front of ‘my’ quarters. I was worried that the head servant might come by and scold me again, so I decided to call after Jin:

“Servant Jin!”

The young man turned around quickly and came back to me.

“Milady?”

“I… well, I’m having a spot of bother with my beloved pet. You see, he ate something wrong last night and ever since hasn’t been himself. I.. I don’t feel comfortable going into my quarters alone.”

Jin’s eyes were directed at the floor a few feet away from me as was court protocol, but I could still catch the change in his expression – he was suspicious – confused at least. Then it came to me: Was it because he was a man and I a woman? Quite probably my request was everything but harmless, but could be misunderstood as… an improper invitation.

For once the beast of a dog came to my rescue however, because at this very moment it started barking aggressively inside Chu Hua’s quarters.

“You see?” I asked the servant. “He’s been too much on the wild side, ever since that treat made him really sick. Even I can’t properly restrain him!”

To my relief the suspicion vanished from Jin’s face, he nodded subserviently and then wordlessly headed for my door. Upon the door being opened, the dog inside started bellowing even louder, but before it could charge at me or do anything much, Jin had it by the neck. The servant seemed to know how to deal with dogs, because the beast in his hands soon calmed down and it’s barking turned into a weak howl.

“Milady, I apologize if this looks like a rough method. I assure you no harm is being done to your pet,” said Jin – the dog in his hands finally having ceased to struggle.

“That’s quite alright,” I said stepping inside Chu Hua’s quarters, while still keeping a distance from the dog. Relieved and exhausted by… everything… I forgot yet again, that I wasn’t expected to show any gratitude and I thanked Jin for the second time today. Before he could react in any way however – my stomach decided it was time to make itself heard and it gave an almighty growl.

“I’ll search for your maid now, milady, and make sure that she brings you breakfast,” said Jin, after he had put the dog down on its cushion, where it curled up and remained lying, even after Jin had left and closed the red sliding door behind him.

By now I was so hungry, that I felt dizzy just from standing, so I sat down on one of the cozy-looking divans that stood in the room, putting my shoeless feet up on it and letting my head rest on a cushion. Wistfully I remembered rainy mornings back in my and my mum’s small flat in Busan, when she had made hot pancakes for me, that we ate together while watching old movies. Right now it felt like my mum was endlessly far away from me and I worried whether I was ever going to see her again. I wondered whether I could ever adjust to Cathay – should it turn out that I had to stay here for the rest of my life.

I felt more homesick, than I had ever felt in my life. I was almost starting to miss my mum’s weird boyfriend Young Hwan and his not-so-bad-after-all son Chanyeol. I had only stayed at their home for one night and initially not felt at home at all – but now I would have given anything to be back there, instead of being stuck in Chu Hua’s quarters.

Chu Hua.

What was she doing anyway? Was she where I was supposed to be right now – impersonating me? Or had she just pushed me into playing ‘her’, so that she could venture around Seoul and live the wild life without raising any suspicion back here? Did that mean that she wanted to return and switch places again eventually? Would she turn up one day out of the blue and reclaim her life as a lady of the court and send me tumbling back into a life that had once been mine, but where everyone assumed I was gone or dead?

All that I knew for sure was that my doppelgänger was dangerous to me. The question was whether I should – once returned – seek her out and confront her or try to avoid her? There were all sorts of ways she could complicate my life terribly, even if I did manage to return home…

Getting back home would not be the end of my problems….

My thoughts were interrupted, when someone gently pushed open the door to Chu Hua’s quarters. I turned my head expecting to see the young maid, but it was once again Jin, who stood on the threshold and most importantly – was holding a tray of food.

“Your maid has been assigned to cleaning duty,” Jin apologized as he entered the room, closed the door and carried the tray towards me, “She will be unavailable for another hour. Until then allow my humble self to be of assistance to you.”

Once again the good manners that I had learned back in South Korea told me to thank him immediately, but I managed to just nod my head slightly instead, as Jin placed the tray on a small table in front of me. Now that I got a closer look I could identify a pile of soft-looking green and pink dumplings on the tray.

I didn’t know what table code of manners applied for eating in Cathay, but since I hadn’t been handed any chopsticks or other form of cutlery, I assumed it was fine for me to eat with my hands – so I helped myself, picked the top dumpling off the pile and without thinking took a bite.

The taste was delicious.

The filling of the dumpling consisted of some kind of meat, mixed with vegetables and a vaguely spicy sauce. In two more bites I had finished the dumpling and reached for another. The next one was filled with similar ingredients and although it had a fully different note, it was no less exquisite. Being in a haste to get my stomach and taste buds satisfied, I ate a little carelessly, letting some of the sauce inside the dumpling drop onto one of my sleeves.

A curse escaped half-way out my mouth, when I remembered that I was not alone in the room. Jin was still standing opposite of me – with some respectful distance – his eyes lowered onto the carpet. Had he seen me drop the sauce on myself? Had he heard me almost curse? Did it matter at all – or could a lady in her private quarters be as un-ladylike as she pleased?

I decided to opt for the last conclusion, simply because I wanted to continue eating the delicious dumplings. So I ignored my own actions and continued eating.

Meanwhile I had the chance to evaluate the entire servant-master situation: I could look at Jin all I pleased, while he had to keep his eyes lowered. That alone gave me a whole lot of power over him, because I could study his face without him knowing. I found it all weirdly fascinating, so while I stuffed myself with dumpling after dumpling, I watched to see how long he could remain standing upright and motionless.

After some time I felt a little cruel though, as I should allow him to sit down at the very least, but before I could invite him to do so, I saw his eyes quickly flicker upwards before returning to their original position. At first I thought that he had eyed my food which delicious smell filled the entire room – then I realized he had snuck a peek at my … feet.

I looked at my feet to check whether there was anything wrong with them – whether I had maybe dropped sauce on them, too – but they looked just… normal. Then I remembered that I was probably supposed to be wearing shoes and I quickly took some of my skirt to cover my exposed feet.

For another few minutes I kept munching on dumpling after dumpling, until I finally felt full. I then waved at Jin to take away the tray, which he did, which left me alone for another short while.

Having something warm in my belly – although I had overeaten slightly – made me feel more awake and a whole bit happier. Any time now my maid would turn up, get me dressed and then I would travel to the Temple.

For once my expectations and hopes where met: When the door to Chu Hua’s quarters opened the next time it was indeed the young maid who stepped in. She bowed low and gave me a lengthy apology, about how she had been assigned to other palace duties and regretted not having been around when I had required her service.

My warm meal made me feel generous, so I waved her off, telling her that it was just fine, that I wasn’t angry with her and that she should now help me get dressed.

During the dressing process I finally found out what the petal marks had been that the head servant had scolded me for not wearing earlier this morning: When my entire outfit was finished – the many layers of clothes, the elegant bun and all the decoration – the maid started to do the make-up. After she had outlined my eyes with some coal and put a pink crème on my lips, she took a paint brush, dipped it into some red color and placed four ellipse shaped blots on the center of my forehead that looked a lot like petals forming a flower.

I also remembered that Chu Hua had apparently not had had the equipment to put make-up on me when she had knocked me out – because I hadn’t worn the marks yesterday. No wonder that servants had been looking at me with some irritation. Evidently the mark was of importance, although I didn’t understand why and how. I would have liked to ask the maid to explain it to me, but I realized that this would be both awkward and suspicious. So when my attire was finally finished, all I did was ask her to take me to the Temple.

This time I attracted no particular looks from passersby on the corridors and halls and we reached the outside of the large building without interruption. Now that it was day, I could see that there was a whole line of colorful palanquins waiting outside the large entrance doors and also that there were two more large buildings in sight from the complex that incorporated Chu Hua’s quarters.

The first in the long line of palanquins was hurriedly carried towards us, when I and my maid had stepped through the open entrance door. I reminded myself to walk slow and with dignity towards it, before I climbed inside. After she had given the carriers instructions on where to go, my maid climbed in after me and the palanquin started moving.

During the day the insides of the palanquin where not at all pitch-black, but instead the cloth that compromised the door and the side opposite to the door, let through a decent amount of light, so that I could see well and at the same time tell from the passing shadows from outside that we were moving at a fast pace.

Although sitting in the palanquin wasn’t particularly comfortable, I leaned back and relaxed a little – confident that this time I would reach the temple successfully and also maneuver my way back home from there.

The journey from the Temple to the court ladies’ quarters had seemed so long yesterday, that I was surprised when the palanquin came to a halt and was carefully placed on the ground after only about five minutes. I expected for one of the carriers to open the palanquin door for me and the maid, but instead we were left waiting inside, while an unintelligible conversation took place outside. I had half a mind to open the door and shout at whoever was making me wait, but I stopped myself and tried to stay calm and positive.

Everything would be fine.

The journey to the temple would continue any moment now.

One of the carriers was probably just tired and now being scolded by his supervisor for his tardiness.

When the conversation outside ended however, the door was opened by one of the carriers, who stuck his head inside – while still making sure that he didn’t make eye-contact with me – and began addressing me:

“Milady, unfortunately your journey to the Temple will have to be postponed. It appears you have an important guest waiting for you at the Blue Halls. We have orders to take you there immediately.”

Once again I found myself in a sort of paradox: As the noble lady Rong Chu Hua I was powerful – kind of – yet it was impossible for me to judge who had to obey my every word and whose will I had to subordinate myself to. I had no idea who had given the orders that interrupted my plans once again, but I was willing to risk trying whether I could maneuver my way around them.

“Can’t the guest wait? I will see them later – as soon as I have finished my hour of prayer at the temple,” I said in the most authoritative voice I could muster.

“Milady – forgive my disobedience – but it’s your brother, who is requesting your presence. His time within the Inner Wall is limited and he wishes to see you now.”

I cursed violently inside my head. Not Chu Hua’s brother of all people! She had told me that they were close! That meant that there was a high risk he would recognize me as an imposter! I had been so close to getting back to the temple! Why wouldn’t the universe let me!? I didn’t want to give up now and risk being discovered!

“Servant, I don’t think you quite heard me: I wish to be taken to the Temple, as I am not ready to receive any guests for another hour. My brother will simply have to wait,” I declared.

The carrier had started sweating. He had evidently not expected such resistance from me and now had to choose between two court personalities, whose orders conflicted with one another.

“I’m terribly sorry, milady, but I can’t disobey an order from a minister of your brother’s standing. But I promise we will take you to the temple right after you have received him. To my deepest regrets I will have to disobey you.”

And with those words he let the curtain that covered the entrance of the palanquin fall and started ushering orders to the other carriers, who soon picked up the palanquin and – changing course – started walking again.

“I can’t believe this,” I complained out loud, glaring at the only person there – the maid – who shrunk under my angry stare and remained silent.

The entire way to the Blue Halls I was trying to calm my anger and fear, but especially the latter just kept on growing. By the time we had reached our destination my heart was beating fast, I had some trouble breathing and my entire body was sweating in Chu Hua’s elaborate dress. The carrier who had disobeyed me let his head hang in shame, when first I and then my maid climbed out of the palanquin.

Outside we found ourselves in front of yet another massive, but nonetheless elegant stone and wood building with a curved roof. It had rightfully earned its name ‘Blue Halls’, as once inside the building, I could see that everything was different shades of blue – from the floor, to the walls, all the way up to the ceiling. Overall the inside of the building also had more of formal look than the court ladies’ quarters and was impressive rather through its sheer size and tall ceiling than it’s decoration. This place had undoubtedly been built to intimidate and impress visitors and the architect had more than succeeded.

I didn’t know how frequently Chu Hua visited the Blue Halls, so I made sure not to stare and marvel too obviously, as I followed the maid into another maze of halls and corridors. Our journey into the building was rather short this time around, as we soon took a door into a small hall with walls to all four sides, which was empty except for a large wooden construct at the end of it that reminded me of a palanquin, but stood firmly on the ground and had no joists to lift it.

The maid walked right towards the odd construct – me following in her steps – and when she pulled aside the curtains, I could see that there was a large comfortable cushion inside, which I was apparently expected to sit down on. I did so and the maid left.

Oddly I could see through the curtain from inside, but not from outside. This relaxed me a little, because it meant that my visitor was probably going to sit down on one of the plain cushions on the other side of this curtained little throne – which meant I would be able to see him, but he would be unable to see me and thus my chances of passing as Chu Hua were better – even to her biological brother.

I spent a short time trying to recall any details Chu Hua had given me about her brother and to my relief still remembered that his name was Min Shuo and that he was a minister for agriculture.

I didn’t have to wait long, as the door was soon opened again and a man stepped inside, who began walking towards my little curtained throne. When he had reached it, I expected him to respectfully sit down in front of it, but to my shock he instead leaned forward and forcefully pushed aside the curtains.

Completely unprepared I found myself staring right up at a good-looking young stranger, who I had to pretend was my brother and who didn’t seem too serious about the court rules of conduct. Before I could react in any way to this intrusion into my space, Rong Min Shuo had fallen to his knees and in the next moment pressed his lips firmly against mine.