Imagine if all the stars were gone.

Imagine how dark the nights sky would be without the moon.

Imagine being left in total darkness. Left alone. Alone to watch the stars burn out. But not the ones in the sky. These are different stars. These are the stars you see in front of you eyes any time of the day. The colors...the light...

Imagine seeing only the shades of gray. Only darkness.

Did you?                                     

Good. Then open your eyes again.

Do you still see darkness?

It was cold. The middle of winter.

The wind was blowing hard and sending snow everywhere, branches crackling underneath it and people running from it into the comfort of their own homes.

You could say it was a full out blizzard.

Yet, one person didn’t run.

High in the darkness there was a man sitting on a roof. Seemingly just sitting there and shaking all over because of the cold.

But if you could take a closer look you would notice that he was cursing as he brought the of the, barely still lit, cigarette to his lips.

Cursing the world.

There were bloody lines on the man’s exposed arms. Lines that were deep but didn’t even bleed anymore from the cold. All looking shaky and uneven from how his hands were shaking.

He was sure he has freeze burns by now but he didn’t care. Why would he?

Nothing is right anymore.

The roof got come cuts too from when he missed his arm.

The reason for his frustration in the first place.

He is supposed to see his arm. See the stars on the sky. See his damn hand that’s in front of his face. But no matter how much he closes and opens his eyes he still sees nothing. Nothing but darkness.

The darkness he has been seeing for months now.

Or has it been years?

He lost count.

No point in counting either.

The doctor said he should be able to see again in only a month or two. That he will just open his eyes one day and see even just a blur of anything other than the constant blackness he sees now. It would mean that he will slowly but surely get his sight back

But it has passed more than just a month or two since that day. It has passed way more.

And no matter how many times he opened his eyes there is still only black

Always black.

There was black on the day he dropped out of high school. Black on the day of his mother’s funeral. Only black as each one of his friends left. Just…black.

“Luhan?”

It was black when he bought a bus ticket to a city he never heard of and got on it all alone. All alone because everyone else left.

It was black when he fell because he just couldn’t ing see where he was going.

“Luhan!” A man called out. Well he can’t be seen as a man. He was still only a boy. A pale brown haired boy of only 19 years of age. “Luhan what are you doing? It’s ing freezing out! Come back inside!”

The boy sounded worried. But then again he always sounded worried.

Luhan would have smiled at the thought if he could. But it has been so long he doesn’t remember how to anymore.

He doesn’t remember anything else other then the black anymore.

Because it was not black on the day his mother died in the same robbery that resulted in him losing his sight, because there is a bullet stuck in his head. Well not anymore. Now there is only a fragment left. But it’s not like it makes any difference.

But now there is black.

And there was black when he heard that voice in the first place. The one that is calling him right now. The one person who helped him up when he fell.

It was black then.

It was also black when he fell in love. And when he broke his heart. Sehun’s. He broke Sehun’s heart he knows. He broke it so many times he lost count. But then again did he ever count in the first place?

“Luhan please.” Sehun’s voice was accompanied with a strong grip on the back of Luhan’s shirt and a pull that he couldn’t go against but just let into.

He let Sehun pull him into the apartment and close the window.

Luhan just stood there as the boy lectured him about how it was too cold and how he needs to stop cutting, and smoking. As Sehun dried his hair out with a towel and tried to get him warm with a blanket or maybe two.

Luhan just stood there like he does every day, as Sehun cleaned out the newest cuts and wrapped his arms in yet another bandage that he knows the other will only rip out again soon. But still he does it anyway.

And again it was black.

“I want to leave.” Luhan spoke after hours as his body finally stopped shaking and he still sat where Sehun put him earlier. Not moving even an inch but still saying the words he needs.

“No you don’t.” Sehun’s voice was quieter then it was before. It always gets quiet when Luhan talks about leaving.

He was just never so straight forward with it.

“Yes I-” Luhan was cut off with a kiss because Sehun was scared. And he only knows of one way to make Luhan stay. For even only a day.

One way that has worked for two years. And it will for many more. Because Luhan needs to stay. He wants him to stay. Needs it.

He loves Luhan too much to let him go.

Kisses turned into touches, and touches turned into more.

And Luhan let it happen. He loved Sehun after all.

He loved him enough to let him go…

It was cold. The middle of winter.

The wind was blowing hard and sending snow everywhere, branches crackling underneath it and people running from it into the comfort of their own homes.

You could say it was a full out blizzard.

Yet, one person didn’t run.

He walked.

Walked in the darkness. Walked away from the only person he has by his side. Away from the only person he ever loved, because Sehun deserves more.

Sehun deserves more than the darkness Luhan can give him.

Luhan walked away.

Because Sehun deserves to have the stars.

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I dont know what I just wrote but I hope you liked it.

Please leave a comment below and maybe upvote too.

Thanks for reading.