DooJoon was incredibly handsome, there wasn’t any denying it. Sitting on the bus together like this assured me of that. Even with the whole eye thing, I was drawn to him, much differently than I had been with Jiyong.. with him, I always felt like my whole world was crashing down. With DooJoon, who I had only known for mere moments, it felt like I was anchored in place securely. Was there such a person that could do that? Miracles happened almost everyday, or so I was told… perhaps, this was one of those spectacles I’d heard so much of.

 

“Where are you from?” He asked me, still smiling. Even in the minutes we’d talked, I knew he probably always smiled like this, and imagining him frowning, just seemed wrong.

 

“Busan.” I answered him with my own version of a smile, which made his smile bigger. I liked being in his presence. It was soothing.

 

“Of course the pretty girl is from Busan..” He smiled at me then, but I just scoffed. Was this kid blind? I didn’t have much to offer, in terms of character. Or maybe I was attractive, and didn’t know it. Nah, it was probably the former.

 

“What about you?” I leaned forward then, resting my head on the bar above the seat between us. I had to look up to talk to him, but it didn’t bother me.

 

“Seoul... nothing special really.” He looked down at me, blinking. I thought it was pretty fascinating, since I hadn’t lived here all of my life. I wondered if he lived in the city.

 

“Psh, I wish I had your luck…” I blinked back at him, which caused him to smile at me. I felt my face getting hot because he was really close to me. I finally sat up, but didn’t turn back around. I didn’t want to give myself away.

 

"Nothing wrong with Busan. I think its a wonderful place.." He tried to compliment, but I wasn’t really buying it, because deep down: everyone who comes to Seoul eventually likes it better. It was the same in my case, because I tried going home as little as possible.

 

"Yeah yeah..." I muttered, sticking my tongue out at him, though just as quickly, I drew it back. Why the hell was I being so comfortable with some stranger? I barely knew him. Apparently he saw my recoil, because he got up to come and sit in the seat with me. I cringed back a little, because I was a little taken aback. I didn’t think he’d actually come up here. I had been prepared to tell him goodbye if he got off first, or to never see him again.

 

That was until he reached in my pocket and pulled out my cellphone. I protested,but he cut me off, and started putting his number in. He handed it back to me, and just when I was about to tell him I didn’t need his number, he held his phone out to take my picture.

 

“Yah! I hate pictures! Please delete that!” I cried out, my eyes wide. Even in the midst of making a grab for his phone, he’d already saved it in his contacts.

 

“Number?” He said calmly, deflecting me at every advance, like he’d already done something like this before. After awhile I finally gave up, saying the number almost automatically, a rueful smile etching my features,  despite how obvious it was that I was annoyed. I had to admit, the kid had style.

 

“Now, you have no excuse but to call me..” He said, his face a little smug. I was gonna tell him that he could keep dreaming, but he got up suddenly as the bus stopped. My face fell as he began to tell me that this was his stop. I looked out the window behind him to see a familiar building, seeing as I’d done countless work here.

 

“You’re from BEAST..” I said almost absently, to which he nodded. He began getting off, and I managed to get up from my seat just in time to follow him off the bus. My house was only a few blocks from here, and I could definitely use the walk.

 

“Does that bother you?” He said, his face a little worried. I shook my head no, to which he smiled again. I didn’t bother to mention that I hung around idols on a daily basis because of my job. I definitely didn’t mention that I was best friends with the members from Big Bang.

 

“Good. Because I want to see you again.”I was about to open my mouth to say that I could do with his company when I was pulled into his person, my mind going blank for the few seconds I was allotted in his embrace. I noticed that his chest was broad, and that he smelled like some kind of soap that reminded me of laundry days with my mom in Busan. I only knew of Jiyong’s cologne, and I had a few bottles of that lying around so that I could smell his scent even in my house. How pathetic is that?

 

He hugged for what seemed like forever, to which I finally spoke up.

 

"Uh..DooJoon.. you don’t know me that well.. can you let me go?" I asked, my face now smashed against his chest. He let go, apologizing.

 

"Sorry! Sorry.. I’ll just go now.." He looked a little happier than before, but then again I hadn’t seen him not smiling. I just took it as he was happy to be going to work.

 

"Remember.. You gotta call me, okay? We’ll hang out. Just you and me!" He said, turning around to run toward the building. Before I could protest, he was already inside. I just shook my head, smiling to myself. Thank God there was no one around, or they would’ve seen my red face.

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

The walk home was surprisingly refreshing. When I reached the front steps of my flat, I could hear my cat Lau mewing, as if welcoming me home. It was nice, especially when I opened the door to have him jump into my arms. I began to rub his chin like I always did, which registered a series of purrs.

 

"Ah~ Did you miss me? Cus I missed you~" I said into his fur, still scratching. I let him down on the floor, as I reached for my answering machine. I hooked my cell to it, letting it dial the voicemail, before connecting itself. Pushing the button, I let the tape play.

 

" Joo Min, Its Min Young. We need you to come by the office for your new lenses, and camera bag. Its full of great stuff! It all came from different talent agencies who love your work! If you can, call us back, and we’ll send a car out to you~ Ciao~!"

 

I laughed inwardly listening to the messages. Most of them were about the same thing, people sending me gifts because they wanted me to do photoshoots for their artists, or because they had seen me and just wanted to butter me up. It didn’t work though. I almost never accepted anything they got me if I could help it.

 

I sat down a bowl of milk for Lau, and sat down on the floor to watch him eat while listening to the other messages.

 

"Joo Min-ah~ Its Seunghyun hyung~ Just wanted to remind you to come by YG tonight. We’re still having your birthday, so please dress nice, okay? (In the background I could here Youngbae shouting: ‘WEAR A DRESS’ to which I scoffed. Yeah right.) Jiyong says he has a present for you, and we invited all of our friends from the other companies. Remember; nice okay? If you show up in blue jeans, Seungri will kill you. Byee~"

 

I sighed. I had almost forgotten it was my birthday. I was so caught up in pleasing Jiyong that I had forgotten about myself. Who cares if he got me a gift? Its not like he meant anything by it. Picking up the empty bowl from the floor, I tossed it into the sink. I needed something to distract me, and a shower wouldn’t do it. I’d just end up crying.

 

Grabbing my phone, I hit the speed dial. Min Young picked up on the first try.

 

"Min Young unnie.." I said, trying to smile despite how I was feeling.

 

" Joo Min~ The car’s on its way!" I didn’t have to ask, she probably knew this was what I wanted anyway.

 

I nodded as if she could see it, and hung up the phone. I sighed, before walking toward my room, my mind racing rapidly. I stood in front of my closet for what seemed like the longest time before I walked over to it pulling out a black bag. I didn’t bother opening it, but instead began to lay it on my bed, beside my photography equipment.

 

I don’t know what took over me, but the next instant, I was dialing his number. He answered on the first ring, but for some reason I wasn’t surprised.

 

"Hey, DooJoon," I managed evenly, nerves on edge, but no clear sign of stopping myself anywhere in sight. I could hear him breathing heavily on the other line, but I kept my voice steady.

 

" How.. would you like to go to a party with me tonight? As... uh.. my date?" I asked, before going silent.

 

"...Yes." It came out clear, and it came out simple. As if he didn’t care why I was asking him to do. But as if he only cared that I had asked him at all.

 

"Good. I’ll see you at nine. Shower, and put on something nice okay?" I smiled despite myself, even though I knew what I was about to do what morally wrong.

 

It wouldn’t hurt to use him for this one night, just to make Jiyong jealous. I didn’t care what Jiyong thought anymore right? This was more like my last farewell before I gave him up. Even if he wasn’t mine to give up in the first place.

 

"Okay! See you then!" He said eagerly, and I could sense him smiling. Someone yelled at him, and he bid me goodbye, with a promise to look his best. I hung up the phone, and shoved it into my pocket. Picking up my photography bag and the black mass, I started towards my living room again. It only seemed like I had been home for a few minutes, but I needed to leave again.

 

A car pulled up outside my house just as I was locking the door. The chauffeur got out to open my door, to which I got in, throwing my stuff on the seat. He didn’t say a word as he shut the door. As we drove off, I began looking out the window pondering if this was a bad idea. Some part of me was set against this and wanted to go back home. Something made me want to call it off.

 

But something else made me stay in the car.