I woke up to eyes staring me down.

Usually by now, I would’ve put my hand out, beckoning Boss to come closer, but I didn’t this morning. I did not hear any whining from where I had fallen asleep on the couch, and that was the first indicator that I wasn’t alone in the room. No, these eyes staring me down were different, because I had spent countless hours trying to figure out if that colour in them existed anywhere else in the universe.

 

“Do I amuse you?” My voice came out groggy, and full of sleep. I bet I was so attractive right now, considering I didn’t wash my face last night before passing out on the couch in the dorm. I shouldn’t have stayed here last night, but he kept telling me he didn’t want me to leave. And like a fool, I stayed. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes a bit, the room finally coming into view. Jiyong looked back at me, his smile dazzling, not a hair out of place, like he usually was. I’d spent countless nights dreaming that that smile was for me. Even in my dreams I was a fool.

 

“Good morning Joo Min~” Jiyong crooned to me. It took everything in me to keep myself anchored to the couch, just so I wouldn’t drift away. My perception on reality was so damned warped around this kid, it was sickening.

 

“Uhn..”  I managed to grunt, before standing to stretch my cramped bones. He stood with me, still watching me with interest, as if he had never seen me in his dorm before, even though I’d been here countless times. I considered this place to be my second home, and I treated the members like they were family. The atmosphere was never weird, because I always felt at ease in this place. Even now, standing alone with Jiyong, I was calm as ever.

 

Now that I was standing, my head was clearing. I was wondering where the other members where, and why it was quiet. I strained my ears for a second, before hearing snoring. They were still sleeping.. yet the leader was up. Typical.

 

“Is there something you want?” I yawned out, immediately going towards the bathroom. I didn’t like him to see me with my face filthy, even if he had before. Like it helped much.

 

“Breakfast~” He began softly, following me to the bathroom, though I was silently wishing that he wouldn’t, and still he stood outside the door, while I grabbed a towel and the faucet above the sink. Of course he wanted breakfast -- I halfway shouted at him to make his own breakfast when I heard a loud yawn that wasn’t Jiyong’s.

 

“Morning, Bae-hyung..” I muttered in between leaning down to wash my face. I heard a grunt in reply, which I particularly smiled at. He definitely wasn’t awake. The running water had probably woken him up. I felt a little bad as I turned of the faucet. Now, I definitely had to cook breakfast. Grabbing the towel, I began drying my face as I walked past Jiyong, who trailed after me. It was like this everyday, it never changed.

 

----

 

The smell of bacon must have magical powers. Here I sat, with five grown men, watching them eat endlessly. A part of me worried if I had cooked enough, the rate they were chomping down on the meat and toast.

 

“Ah- Slow.. down..” I murmured. My outcry was lost though, they were too engrossed in their meal. I checked my watch, still listening to the sound of their teeth slapping together. 8:30. I’d have to leave in thirty minutes if I wanted to catch the bus. I also had to work today, even if I wasn’t here. I sighed inwardly, and Daesung was the first to notice.

 

“Joo Min..” I looked up at the sound of his voice, immediately putting on a smile.

 

“Yes, hyung?” I had a habit of not calling any of them oppa. That was probably the only reason why they were so comfortable with me in their dorm. I was just like another boy to them. If I didn’t nag at them sometimes, I think they would probably truly believe I was. I kept smiling, just in case he asked a question I couldn’t answer.

 

“You have to work today?” He asked. I nodded, watching him reach for another piece of bacon. I couldn’t help asking myself where they put all of this food. They couldn’t have two stomachs.. it wasn’t possible, right?

 

By this time, they were all listening, but still eating. They weren’t very nonchalant with their looks as they looked from Jiyong, to me, and then back again. Jiyong was eating happily in his own world, as per usual.

 

“Let one of us take you home. Jiyong doesn’t have a schedule this morning, and Seung-” I cut him off mid-sentence.

 

“S’alright,  hyung. I’ll just take the bus. Besides, I want the fresh air, you know?” I smiled at him, but it probably came out as more of a grimace. He took this as his cue to shut up, and was suddenly preoccupied with the eggs on his plate.

 

I wanted nothing more than to scream. How I kept coming over here, I’d never know. How I kept from yelling everyday, I didn’t know that either. How could I be so stupid? I stayed here more than I did in my own home, just to be closer to him. And yet, he still didn’t see me. Even now, as he put his plate away and thanked me for the amazing meal, he still couldn’t see what I was trying to offer him.

 

Even as I said bye to them for the morning, and promised to return for evening to cook them dinner (with protest from Seungri, he insisted on taking me out to get ingredients) he still didn’t see. Even when he hugged me, and kissed my forehead and told me to have a good day, he didn’t see my look of need as he turned around. Even as I walked to the bus stop by myself, I was sure I was invisible to everyone.

As I sat there on the bus, I contemplated everything. What normal girl would go through lengths like this  just to be noticed? In any case, I wasn’t a normal girl to Jiyong. I was just his best friend. And, that was all I was ever going to be. Now, with that realization, I needed one more thing: acceptance. Shaking my head as I got on the bus that pulled up, I pulled my jacket closer to my slim body. I sat down in the front by myself, but it wasn’t like anyone could see me anyway. When you’re invisible, you’re invisible. You don’t get to change things like that.

“Hey. You. With the white jacket.” I heard someone behind me say. I looked around, before finally looking down. I was the only one on the bus with a white jacket on. I the keys in my pocket before I turned around and was faced with the weirdest set of eyes on this Earth.

 

“No..eyelids..” I managed softly, mostly to myself. If the guy heard me, he didn’t say anything. Or at least, I hoped he didn’t.

 

“You look like you could use a pick-me-up..” He said. Who was this guy? I didn’t say anything, and just turned around again. I wasn’t about to be pestered on my ride home. Not by some kid that didn’t have eyelids, that was for sure.

 

“Oh come on.. don’t ignore me..” His voice had a nice velvety quality, but I still didn’t respond. I didn’t know this kid.

 

“Fine..” He said, and I could hear the defeat in his voice. “Just trying to help a pretty girl out..”

 

Pretty. No one but my mom had called me that. I’m pretty sure she was biased. I hung around Big Bang too much, and they never said it to me. But hearing it from a complete stranger was like hearing church bells.

 

I turned around then, and smiled my best smile at him. He smiled back. In my pocket I felt my phone vibrate twice, indicating a message. I pulled it out while he asked me my name.

 

“Joo Min.” I answered automatically.

 

The text read:

 

Can’t wait to see you!

-GD

 

He knew I hated that name, and still he put it there. How many times I’d misinterpreted those words as him actually wanting me. I glanced up then, just as he was telling me his name. Simultaneously, I turned off my phone and shoved it into my pocket.

 

“I’m DooJoon.. I’m glad the pretty girl has a pretty name.” He said, before laughing. I noticed he smiled alot. It was foreign, but it was nice. This stranger, who had called me pretty had my undivided attention.

 

Almost enough to make me forget my own burdens.

 

Almost.