"Are you coming over?" you ask into the phone as you sit on your bed. It is already 11PM. 

"Not today," Kai sighs softly, tiredly. "Sorry." 

But it wasn't just today. It is today, the next, and the day after. You know Kai is avoiding you, for some reason. And he never avoids you. You admit that you're always clinging onto him, but it takes two to clap, doesn't it? He is seen with you most of the time if not always. So it makes you frustrated and upset that he is avoiding you. You really miss him and you just want to see him.

You call him on the third day of him avoiding you, but he doesn't pick up. You know he rejected your call because the ringing stops halfway. He never likes letting his phone ring for too long when he knows that you're calling. He doesn't like making you wait. But you're tenacious as you call him repeatedly. He finally answers the phone. 

"Jongin," you say, a little too expressionlessly. You're angry. "Where have you been?" 

"I... Um... Away?" 

"Away, where," you mutter, your question coming out flat and exactly like a statement. 

"Are you mad at me?" he murmurs into the phone apprehensively.

"I don't know, Jongin," you say, tone dripping with sarcasm. "What do you think?"

It is quiet. Then he whispers, "Why are you mad at me?"

You sigh before asking softly, "Why are you avoiding me? Did you get into a fight?" Silence. "Yah, Kim Jongin! I can't believe you're avoiding me just because you got into a fight!" 

"I didn't want you to be disappointed in me!" he counters. He sounds anxious, like a child explaining to his mother to prevent a scolding. 

"You come over right. Now," you stress, frustration creeping up on you. 

Suho is already sleeping when you pad out of your room and to the living room. You wait for Kai and in a bit, you hear the front door opening. Kai has stayed over so much that Suho decided to give him his own keys to the house. The moment he steps into the apartment, you stand up from the couch, arms crossed. Kai looks intimidated by your fierce expression. He swallows his nerves. 

"Room," you nod in the direction of your room. 

He trudges in that direction and goes through the door. You get the first aid kit and turn off the lights before entering your own room. Kai is already laying on the bed, just like the first time you met him. He is already sleeping, the comfort of your bed nothing in comparison to the stiff leather seats of his car. You sigh at his exhausted posture and sit lightly next to him. He looks so peaceful despite that cut on his lip that looks like it is already healing. You brush his brown hair away from his closed eyes and he unconsciously leans into your touch. 

"Stupid boy," you sigh, brushing his hair back. Then you whisper, "Jongin, I'm going to clean your wounds, okay?" 

Kai makes a sound at the back of his throat. There is a huge cut on the side of his arm, but other than that, they're bruises that just need time for the blue-black color to fade. When you have dressed the big wound on his arm and have applied ointment to all his bruises, you wipe his body clean. When you've changed him into his sleeping attire, you tap his cheek lightly. 

"Jongin, get under the blanket, it's cold." 

He sits up and obeys you like a small child. You return the first aid box and switch off the lights to your room. You crawl into bed too, lying on your side as you stare at him. Your breathing stops when he wraps a lazy arm around your waist and pulls you close to him sleepily. His nose is in your hair again, his breathing deep so that his body is flooded with your scent.

"I'm sorry," he whispers in a sleepy slur, lips moving against your hair.

You sigh and press your face into his chest as you go to sleep. You wake up the next morning to no one in your bed. You frantically think that Kai must have left, but then you feel a weight on the mattress next to you. Kai is looking down at you as he dries his hair with a towel. He smiles down at you. Now, you would normally be blushing and your heart will start pounding like crazy. But this time, you press your lips together in a thin line and look away. He is hurt.

"I'm sorry," he apologises hastily. "Some gangsters were harassing an old lady—"

"I'm not mad that you got into a fight, Jongin," you mumble, glancing at him. "I'm mad that you think you couldn't come to me. For three days."

"I just... You're always telling me how proud you are when I hold my anger back a-and—"

You sigh, going closer to him. He looks at you obediently like a child trying to plead forgiveness from their mother. You tell him gently, "Of course I'm proud whenever you keep your anger in check, Jongin. But it doesn't mean I think any worse of you when you get into a fight."

"You would have gotten mad..."

You nod. "I would have. Only because you hurt yourself. You know how important you are to me, I don't like you getting hurt."

"I know, I'm sorry," he mumbles again, sounding so terribly apologetic that you have to forgive him (when do you not?).

You sigh and shake your head. "No more avoiding me, okay?"

"Promise."

Things have changed rather drastically. If you were to look over the past few months in chronological order, you would say things were only getting slightly better. But when you think back to the first month you met Kai and compare it to today, the drastic changes in his fiery character as well as your relationship with him are clear. 

The first time you met him, you were afraid of him. You were afraid that he would track you down and highly likely murder you. Now, you know that he would never hurt you no matter how annoyed he is with you. The first time you met him, you thought he got into fights just because he lived for the thrill just like what most people enjoyed when they got into fights. Now, you know that he only fights for justice and for the good. Every time he has a new bruise, they always mean something. And the first time you met him, you thought he would not like hanging out people so much, just because he was never seen with anyone. Now, you know that it is just patience that he needs. And you always gave it to him in abundance. 

And your relationship. It has changed with the season. The weather is now so much hotter that you're starting to wear shorts and Kai has to turn on the air conditioning in the car. And while things used to be rather cold between the both of you, it is now a lot warmer. There is a certain kind of thing going on between you and Kai too. It is unsaid, but the both of you are going along with it.

Like whenever Suho's friends are over and they see Kai, they would be so surprised since everyone knows what kind of reputation he has. But your brother would just introduce him as My sister's boyfriend and then they would look even more shocked. Neither of you say anything to correct your brother's introduction though because he is, somehow, a little right anyway. Or when it is too cold in the lecture theatre and Kai would move closer to provide you warmth, asking you if you needed to hold his hand. Sometimes you hold him because you had really been cold, but most of the time you hold his hand because you just want to. You think he must know, but he just hasn't said anything.

Six months have made your relationship with Kai bloom.

The boy himself has changed, too. He has started to be nicer to people he didn't know, started to hold back his anger when people pissed him off, started to talk to his family when he went back home. The improvements are huge in your eyes even if they might not be much in actual fact. He has come a long way and you're proud of him. And you never forget to tell him.

When you're doing group work in tutorial and someone doesn't know a question, he would keep quiet while you teach them, not even once rolling his eyes. And after they've gotten the problem, you would squeeze his thigh, leaning in to whisper Good job, Jongin. Or when you tag along with him to his house to get fresh clothes, he would mutter at least short answers to his mother who would always be following you around. And when you're left alone, you would squeeze his hand lightly and say I'm so proud of you.

It's the little things that make him feel wanted, make him feel human. Whenever you say these words, you know you're building Kai up, giving him the confidence, the support, the attention that he has always needed and craved for. And you're more than happy to provide them to him. Provide more than that, if you could.

But there is a setback in this new Kai. Though he is great at controlling his emotions now, he is terrible at controlling his anger when it comes to your safety in question. He is terribly protective of you.

There was a time when the both of you were out at a food festival to get some snacks. Kai had been standing next to you as you queued up to get some cookies. Streams of people squeezed past behind you and you stuck close to Kai to give these people more space to get around. But then you had felt a hand on your , squeezing your cheek and fondling. You yelped, causing Kai to instinctively pull you to his front, hugging you to his body. He turned around and glared at the lecher, who was easy to spot, since he was looking so damn surprised at Kai's quick movements.

The next thing you knew, you were hastily dragging a fuming Kai away from the crowded place with no cookies in hand. He had almost socked the guy in the face if not for your intervention. You had grabbed his wrist and pulled him away, with many people staring as you left. He pulled you close while you made your way to the car, so close that you couldn't even walk properly.

Kai has not been into many fights now. But whenever he did, it is because of you. Sometimes you're not fast enough to stop him, sometimes people had talked about you behind your back and you weren't there to hear or stop Kai from creating damage. You think it is sweet, but you don't really like it that he is back to being violent because of you. 

But you realise that while you can help him with many things, you can't change him when it comes to how he feels about you.

It isn't until the last day of your exams that things start to take a huge turn. After this semester, it means that you and Kai will not be in the same tutorial again provided you take the same subject. But it's impossible because he wants to major in pilot engineering while you want to major in marine biology. They're two very different pathways, but neither of you want to lose this bond you have either. 

Kai grabs your hand the moment the last exam ends, dragging you hurriedly to the car. You're giggling because Kai looks so bright and radiant that you feel excited too. When you get to the car, he doesn't waste a second. You haven't even buckled up when he starts to drive off, too anxious to drive you to wherever he wants to bring you. 

"Where are we going, Jongin?" you laugh. 

He glances at you a little nervously, "Secret." 

"You have a secret from me?" you tease. "That's shocking." 

Kai rolls his eyes, but he is biting his bottom lip to keep from laughing. He doesn't drive you home, nor does he drives back to his mansion. Instead, he takes you on a long trip down a highway and out of Seoul. You're starting to be suspicious when he stops in the middle of an empty road and says We're here. There is nothing but trees on one side and the sea on the other side of the road. You stare at Kai incredulously, afraid that he might have lost his mind somewhere. 

But he only clicks on the button of your seatbelt buckle and gets out of the car himself after he opens the car boot. You leave as well, only because you don't want to be alone in the car. Kai is standing by the car boot, waiting for you. You raise an eyebrow as you stalk closer suspiciously. He clears his throat.

"Open the car boot," he tells you softly. 

You pause. Then you shake your head. "You do it." 

"Fine," he mutters, stepping one foot forward. 

But you suddenly want to do it yourself, so you pull on his shirt. "No, I'll do it." 

Kai rolls his eyes at your indecisiveness but lets you go ahead. You go closer to the vehicle, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. You know Kai wouldn't hurt you, but you're still nervous about this. You just don't know that he is nervous too. He has never done this before and you being the first girl, he just feels like he has to make everything perfect. 

You glance at him and he nods his head at the car boot. Your fingers hook under the metal of the trunk and slowly lift it. As the car trunk raises, a whole bunch of purple and white balloons bursts out of the boot. You squeal when some of them bump against your face. 

You hear Kai's soft laughter before you feel his breathing on your ear. Your heart has stopped and your body is frozen. This is extremely cheesy; this whole set-up, the balloons floating in the scenery of a sea and an empty highway. But it has always been a wish of yours to have a boyfriend surprise you like this. 

"This is the last day we'll have a reason to be together," Kai murmurs, his voice shaking just a little.

You keep your eyes trained on the box of chocolate in the car boot, below all the balloons. You recognise it as Kai's sister's favourite chocolates, the expensive ones. You turn your head slightly, daring to just take a peek at Kai. He is staring at you with a gaze so, so soft that it has you blushing to your fingertips.

"But I don't want to be away from you," he says quietly. "Even if we're not going to be in the same lecture or tutorial next semester... I still want to see your face."

You open your mouth to say something, but what comes out is, "Uh." You clear your throat and try again. "We'll still see each other, Kai." 

"No, it's different," he sighs in frustration.

You turn your head to really look at him. He has a sad look in his eyes now and your heart clenches. You reach up to brush his brown hair away. You had helped re-dye his hair after he had enough fun with the pink-brown colour. You think he still looks good now, though he doesn't think so. (Only because he keeps thinking about your compliment on his pink-brown hair and how good he looked in it.) 

"Then do marine biology with me," you try to joke. The atmosphere feels too heavy and it is making you feel so nervous. 

Kai gives you a look before shaking his head. "I don't like marine biology." 

"Okay, then what do you suggest?" 

"I suggest..." he clears his throat awkwardly.

You turn around to face Kai fully, who looks kind of shaky. There is a kind of vulnerability that you have never seen before, a kind of fear in his eyes that is all too new to you. You have seen whatever Kai wants to show you so far, and you thought you've seen all of him. But this... mix of emotions is everything blended together, creating a new look on his face that makes you feel a bit apprehensive.

"That you be my girlfriend." 

"What do you want?" Kai huffs in annoyance. 

You point to the green box in the overhead cupboard, "That one, Jongin." 

"This?" he mutters, fingers brushing on the red packet of chips as he stares at you. You shake your head, gesturing with your hand for him to move more to the left. "This?" he grunts, finally touching the green box.

You nod, a big smile on your face. Kai lets out a relieved (and annoyed) breath as he grabs the box of biscuits. The both of you turn around, ready to leave his house now that you've stolen some snacks to eat (Suho is a health freak and you don't have a lot of junk food at home). But then someone is standing at the doorway, grinning widely at the both of you. You shuffle uneasily.

"What did she say, Jongin?" his sister asks, her head tilted to the side. She looks prettier than she normally does, all dressed and dolled up from an outing.

"She gave you her chocolates," Kai mutters, taking your hand and pushing past his sister.

She runs after you as she exclaims, a bit in shock, "She said no?!" 

"She said, Yes, of course, Jongin," he mocks your tone that sounds nothing like you, so you hit his chest. He ignores that hit. "But she didn't want the chocolates. Too expensive, she said."

"I don't sound like that," you whine softly so that only Kai hears. He cracks into a smile and does a gesture of crinkling his nose and tilting his head; something you recognise as I'm just joking, you know that. You sigh and forgive him, just like you always do. 

Kai entertains his sister's next two questions, but then gets too annoyed with her endless interrogations so he stops replying altogether. You leave the house and he drives back to your apartment. Suho must still be having dinner with his friends, because your home is dark when you step in. Kai and you take turns to shower just like always. Then you sit on the bed, just staring at each other. 

"Are you going back to Bucheon in the summer?" he asks you, looking a bit disappointed. 

"You can come with me," you offer. "Or we can go on a road trip—" Kai's eyes light up and dance slightly, and you chuckle. "A road trip, then. We can go everywhere in Korea."

"For the entire three months?" 

You make a face and shake your head. "Too long. What about a month?"

"Too short," he counters stubbornly, "Two months."

"One and a half."

"Two." 

"Kai." 

"Fine," he mutters, giving up. He is a sore loser and he shows it when he ignores you and crawls under the blanket. He mumbles a little irritably, "Why do I even like you."

You laugh, standing up from the bed to get your laptop from the desk. "I have no idea either, Jongin. I'm noisy and too touchy. I wonder why you like me, too." 

You get under the blanket with Kai, settling your computer on your lap. He moves closer and murmurs, "I didn't mean that." You look down at him and he lifts his head to lie on your lap. "I like you because you're noisy and too touchy," he mumbles.

You hum, resting your arm on the side of his neck as you use your computer to start researching on the road trip. 

Your lips are tilted in a smile as you ask, "What else?" 

"You're patient with me and you're pretty. Hmm..." he thinks a bit more and you're already about to tell him to stop because you're blushing. But he continues, "You're also understanding and very cute—"

"Shut up," you push your laptop away onto the bed and cup his mouth, bending your leg so that his head is propped up closer to you. He is still mumbling more compliments behind your hand, so you put your other hand over his mouth, "Shut up, Kim Jongin."

You're giggling and he is laughing even as you try to shut him up while he tries to keep up with confessing to you. Every time you tell him to shut up, you bend lower and lower until your nose is pressed into his cheek. Your giggles are soft in his ear and he is laughing, sounding so bright and so happy that you almost forget that he is most of the time angry at the world. 

"Kiss me and I'll shut up," Kai's request is muffled behind your hand, but you can hear it fine. You kiss his cheek and he says, "And you make me laugh, and you're smart—"

You snicker, quickly taking your hands away from his mouth to press your lips to his. A low chuckle resonates through his chest as he snakes a hand to the back of your neck to bring you closer. 

"Okay, I take that as she said yes." 

You don't snap away from Kai's lips fast enough. Suho enters the room, smirking at the both of you. You roll your eyes when you think about how not surprised Suho is because then, you realise that of course Kai wouldn't have known your fantasy of a proposal that consists of balloons popping out of a car boot in the middle of a deserted highway. Suho must have told him about it. Which means that he had asked your brother and his sister for help and permission. This realisation makes your heart pound with affection and love.

Suho sits at the edge of the bed, looking at the both of you with an expression that looks too happy. It is funny how he used to be cautious of Kai, even tried to protect you from him. But you're your own person and you take no instructions from anybody. And you're glad that you didn't listen to your older brother and let Kai bleed out in the streets that night you found him. 

"Ow! Motherer!" Kai hisses in pain, swatting your hand away.

You laugh at him swearing over a sunburn. "This will help," you promise, trying to pull his shirt off.

He slaps your hand away and points a stern finger at you, "Touch me again and you'll be left here." You roll your eyes. "I'm serious, baby."

You have been in Busan for the past week and Kai has gotten a lot tanner. You are leaving tomorrow for Ulsan and he is threatening to leave you here with no ride if you touch his sunburn.

"It's just aloe vera, Jongin," you sigh. "If you don't feel better then I'll let you leave me here."

He finally lets you apply the cream to his body. And the next day, he doesn't leave you in Busan. 

Travelling with Kai is a mess, only because sometimes one of you forgets something back in the last place you visited. But during the drive from province to province, you get to experience yourself what Kai had felt when he slept in his car to avoid from going home. It makes you sleep so much more when you're finally checked in into a hotel at your destination, and it also makes your neck hurt. Though sometimes you would go to the backseat with Kai in the middle of the night, letting him lay his head on your chest as you hold onto him. He is the driver after all, and it hurts your heart when you see him massaging the back of his stiff neck as he drives.

The month and a half is fun and you really do manage to go all over Korea. It is fun with Kai and you would never have asked for another partner to go on a road trip with.

He still gets mad, of course. Especially when you're PMS-ing and he cannot understand you. He would have if he stayed home long enough to deal with his sister and his mother. But he hadn't and it definitely came as a shock when he had to go through a week of your mood swings for the first time. But when everything was over, you think maybe your PMS-ing helped him the most in managing his anger. 

You finish the road trip in Bucheon where you stay with Kai for three weeks before you leave for Seoul again. His family calls every week just to make sure that he is doing fine. And when you return to Seoul, the first thing you make Kai do is drive back to his home. He was reluctant, but you had insisted. 

"Jongin!" his mother squeals the moment Kai steps out of the car. She envelops his in a hug, "You've gotten so tan!" 

You smile as you lean against the car, watching as Kai just stands there lifelessly for his mother to hug him. She sees you, grins, and lets go of her son. She comes over and hugs you briefly before ushering the both of you into the house. Kai's father is surprisingly at home as well, reading the newspaper in front of his breakfast. His sister looks excited to see her brother again after two months. 

"Any episodes?" his mother asks when you're seated around the dining table. You know she means Kai's anger episodes.

You shake your head, threading your fingers with Kai's underneath the table. "He was a good boy." 

"She had a few, though," your boyfriend mutters, looking at you. His family members are surprised that he is speaking to them on his own now, without a prompt from you. You scowl at him and his lips tilt into a mischievous smirk, "She was PMS-ing." 

"Jongin," you whine, taking your hand away from his. 

He laughs softly, "Okay, I'm sorry." He takes your hand again, intertwining your fingers. 

"You wouldn't know how much I've had to endure, Jongin-ah," Mr. Kim says, glancing playfully at his wife. When she clucks her tongue, he chuckles and looks to his son. "It gets better though."

Kai nods absentmindedly as he takes a bite of his French toast. He has opened up to his family reasonably, especially after two months away from them, it is as if he had learnt to miss them. He is talking to them, his walls that had been so impenetrable and towering already slowly breaking. 

"What's that?" Kai juts his chin in the direction of his father.

His family stares at him. "What?" his father asks. 

"That," he points to the box of pills in front of his father with your intertwined hands. Three pairs of eyes drop to your hands and you blush uncontrollably. Kai doesn't look affected.

"Oh," Mr. Kim clears his throat and pretends he doesn't see anything out of the ordinary. "I have stiff joints, so eating these pills help." 

Kai nods. Breakfast finishes and then you're in Kai's room. It is the first time that you're actually in his room, sitting on the bed and talking, not just staying for five minutes to get a bag of clothes and leave. It feels like you're back in one of the hotels you had stayed in during your road trip; the walls bare, the sheets white, the room too neat. 

"You should decorate your room, Jongin," you say, looking around the room. 

"But I don't sleep here," he mutters. 

"You can start." You catch his look and chuckle. "Once a week won't hurt."

"But—"

"Yeah, Jongin," his sister's voice is quiet and you turn to see the girl padding into the room silently. "We miss you..."

You give a See? look to your boyfriend, who pinches you lightly. He isn't looking at her when he grumbles, "Just tell me your PMS-ing period so I know not to come home." He gives you a pointed look that translates to There, happy? and this time, it is you who pinch him — not so lightly.

"Okay!" his sister nods, all too eagerly.

And by the time August rolls around, Kai already has little things dotting his once bare room; a hair tie, a pen, an iPhone charger shared by two.

Author's note:

I'm so stupid you guys.... I accidentally deleted this chapter but luckily a reader helped me out (Shout out to ohsebutt — the twitter handle, but I mean I would like to shout out to the reall ohsebutt too for being so yum — for helping me out!) I'll be posting the next few chapters and then write the last one.

Till next time
xoxo