One of the things that I hated the most was waiting. I despised going to a doctors appointment because that meant I had to wait until who knows when. Even when I had made an "appointment". A time that I had reserved to come to the doctors to get checked out. That a time that I had to be there and just simply wait. What if I had other things to do?

But anyway... I was waiting, impatiently, for my friend to come pick me up. He had promised me he would take me to my doctors appointment and then he would take me to buy ice cream. It's been weeks, since I last stepped out of my house. Why? Because I felt like there was no need to unless I had to, of course, go grocery shopping or like today... go to my doctors appointment. That was something I needed to do. But other than that... I didn't find shopping or going anyway for that matter, to be a need. Not for me at least.

I have been through too much to actually think of going out to the real world. Yeah sure I was being a coward, but when someone has gone through what I have gone through in my past, they would understand why I preferred to stay at home then to go out.

You may be wondering what I've gone through? Well for starters... My family is rather wealthy. Now okay sure, that doesn't sound bad at all. Why? Because for god sakes anyone would do what they could to be my family. But what many don't understand... is that my family is a dysfunctional family. So much so, that my older brothers and sisters are against my parents wishes. We all are for that matter. My mother used to be a drug dealer while my father was a well off businessman. My mother gave all that up and had gone to therapy to get help for her drug and alcohol addiction.

My father's family was very much against them getting married because... well my mother was a drug dealer. Who would want a daughter-in-law like that? My mom even spent some jail time in her early twenties. A few years before she meet my father and fell deeply in love.

He was one of the reasons why she went to rehab. Another reason was because she was pregnant with my eldest brother.

After having my eldest brother, my parents married. Much to my grandparents disliking. Although they don't like my mother, they love us to death.

I'm the youngest of five. Imagine that. Growing up... we were abused by our mother when father wasn't home. When he would get home from a long day of work... he would turn a blind eye because according to him... 'We deserved the beating.'

My father wasn't too much of a father. I barely saw him. Even on weekends. He worked day and night for his company. Never giving us any sort of attention. It was as if we were fatherless. But to my mother... she didn't care. As long as he was making the money. She told us she loved our father. But if she truly loved him why would she only care about the money and not father? We always wondered that.

Once we got older, we realized that it was because mother also came from a wealthy family, but because her families business went bankrupt in another country, they were forced to move back to South Korea and start over. That was when mother became a drug dealer. Becoming addicted to the drug she sold to others.

According to her, it was her only way of helping her family in need. So when she met father and saw that he too was a wealthy man, she said it was for the money. But before long she was in love with him.

Now... you may be thinking... hows that dysfunctional? Well... father is so absorbed in his business that he doesn't pay any attention to mother now on top of the fact that we are all grown up and out of the house. Since I am the youngest I was the last one to leave. And the first one to witness what mother was truly compatible of.

---

Flashback...

One day, I was walking home from school when I saw her at a cafe talking to some guy. When I saw the guy chills went down my spine because he used to be one of mom's old friends. Who just happened to be a very much notorious drug lord in not just South Korea, but in all of East Asia and even in Central and South America. He had power and fortune. I wondered why mother never looked up to him. Until I realized the striking similarities between myself and my older sister.

I had gone straight home. Leaving mother and her 'old' friend be back in the cafe. Luckily my older sister, Ha Eun was home from work. I bet she was only visiting.

"Ha Ni!" she exclaimed happily as came to hug me. "How have you been?" she pulled away to look at me. I looked at her and examined her face, and sure enough... she did have some similarities to that drug lord.

"I've been good," I smiled. Although I had so many questions. "You have something on your mind huh?" she teased as she fully let go of me. "Well..."

"I knew it. Was it?" she asked as she pulled me towards the living room. "Not here. Let's go to my room," I had suggested. I had grabbed her wrist and guided her to my room. I closed the door behind me and looked at her.

"I saw mom at a coffee some with some guy," I said. "What are you talking about?"

"H-He's... a drug lord Unni. But not only that... but he kind of looks like us," I said pointing between the both of us. "Ha Ni... you must have had a long day,"

I sighed because she was understanding what I was trying to say. I went over to my drawer and pulled out a picture.

"Look," I handed my sister the picture of mom when she was younger. She was with that same guy that she was with now.

"That's the guy," I pointed to the guy sitting with mom, his hand wrapped around her waist as they smiled at the camera with drinks held high. It was very much evident that they were smoking something because their was smoke in the picture.

"Woah..." Ha Eun got up and went to the mirror and looked up and down from her reflection to the picture. "I do look like him... but so then that means..." she trialed off as she looked at me. "We're not related to father?" she paled.

"I guess not," I shook my head. Ha Eun and I were the two youngest in the family. We have two older brothers, Han Bin and Han Jae and an older sister Ha Na.

By the looks of things... the both of us could well in fact be half-siblings of the older three...

A week later...

It was proven that Ha Eun and I were not in fact related to father at all. Of course we didn't tell him or anyone else. We kept it to ourselves.

"So than that guy... is he really our father?" asked Ha Eun as we walked down the busy streets of Hongdae. "I don't know," I had answered.

This was already too much to handle. All my life I was raised to think that the one man that we both called father... wasn't really our father. Not that we were close to him anyway but in someways it hurt because what if he had found out before us? What would he have done to mom and us? Would he have kicked us out because we weren't his biological kids? What about our siblings what would they think about us then?

Between the both of us we had so many questions left unanswered because if we were really to ask... we ourselves would have to face the consequence and we didn't want that.

Months later...

We have already been through enough. From mothers abuse to father's verbal abuse. Maybe just maybe father already knew and that was why... we weren't as close to our older siblings as we thought we were.

We would always receive the worst beating while they would get a little before getting off the hook. We were always yelled at. Getting told what to do and how to do. We were practically slaves for them. As if we didn't matter. As if we weren't even part of the family. We even had beer bottles thrown at us. It would break and cut us on our arms and legs. Leaving behind scars once the cuts healed. I was full of scars especially because of Han Jae. He seems to hate me the most. He would hit me, punch me, and sometimes... he would try to get his way with me if it weren't for Han Bin interfering. Reasoning with his brother that I was his sister and how could he do such a thing to me.

"She's not!"

Han Bin hushed him as he pulled him away down the hall. It was pretty clear that they knew. They knew that we were half-siblings. But for how long? Was it really that obvious?

Soon both Han Bin and Han Jae moved out from the house leaving the girls, but Ha Na was never around. She was always to busy with her friends. She acted so snobby and selfish around us but would be such an angel around father.

Mother never glanced at father when it was dinner time. She would completely ignore him. Father seemed to always be angry. Never wanting to hold a simple conversion between us.

It was just me and Ha Eun. Before she too moved out and left me behind. She had no choice. She was going to Seoul National University. She had to focus on her studies. Not try to take care of her younger sister even though I really needed the help.

After they all left and was just me, mother's true side was revealed.

She would come home late at night drunk. She would always ignore father whenever he was at home. If he even was at home. She would cuss out the maids and tell them to leave and never come back. She even went back to smoking weed and doing drugs.

Father would never stop her. He simply didn't care what she did. Although he had claimed he had once loved her... it seemed like after 25 years of marriage, it was going to go down the drain. He didn't want to file for divorce because that would only prove to his family that they were right and he was wrong. He didn't want that. So he had to keep his cool even though it seemed like he wanted to just kill mother. Literally and figuratively.

Until one day he caught her with that drug lord out at the same cafe that I had found her. It was a disaster. When I had got home from school, I heard yelling and screaming. Even crushes from objects being thrown all over the place. Mom sure got a beating from father, but I hadn't seen much since the maids whisked me away towards my room upstairs.

Even then I could still hear the heated argument. After all that... nothing was the same anymore. Nothing.

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Present

I heard a honk come from outside and I peeked out my window to see Junho's blue Audi parked out in the driveway of my house.

I slightly smiled as I hesitated to walk outside. I grabbed my Ray Ban sunglasses and took a deep breathe as I pulled the front door opened and walked out in the morning sunlight.

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