warning; typos/ unedited, long chapter ahead lol

“Are you okay?!” Jackson asked as he looked at his pal with a confused expression. Mark sadly nodded as he lit a cigarette. He tucked the small stick between his lips and stared down. It’s their break time and instead of eating in a fancy food pub, Mark requested if they could just get something light cause he’s not in the mood to eat. They bought burritos and consumed them immediately as Mark asked, again, if they could take a short walk in a small park nearby. Of course, Jackson didn’t oppose. He knew what Mark is going through. He needs to stand behind his buddy during episodes like this.

“I’m fine.” Mark said, not making it believable at all.

Jackson sighed heavily. Why did I even asked him although I know that he’s not okay? He mentally kicked himself. He hates it when Mark has to pretend that he’s good in order to lessen someone else’s worry about his situation. “Shut up. I know you’re not.”

Mark blew a cloud of white smoke and nodded once again. “And you still bothered to ask?!” He’s just too broke to talk with such enthusiasm. He’s been dealing with the same old dreadful feeling for a couple of days now. “You know me well.” he added, placing the stick down at the corner of a wooden ashtray.

“It’s been two weeks, Mark. Maybe it’s time for you to rethink certain things.” Jackson proposed as he felt really bad for the other. He imagined himself in Mark’s position and later then found out that it’s truly a tough spot to live. Mark’s been living with a storming cloud above his head and haunted by millions of memories every single second. If he’s in Mark’s shoes by now, he might have gone crazy. “What do you mean?” Mark replied, sipping on his coffee. “You’re encouraging me to give up on him?” he added.

Jackson rolled his eyes. “Of course not! I just want you to realize that time is running. It will never slow down for anyone. You better make move as soon as possible.”

Mark sighed. He stared at the dull street scenery outside the restaurant that they chose for today’s lunch. He tried to think. He tried to consider every possibility of him and Jinyoung together again. But all along the process of visualizing themselves, a painful arrow will pierce through his heart and say that they can never be in each other’s arms again. “I love him and that’s all I know.”

“So what’s your plan?”

His fingers were trembling. The nicotine stick in between his middle and pointing finger moves in accord with the shaky digits. “I’m not doing any good at work, I have lost my old self, and I’m extremely out of track. Useless, worthless, miserable and unlucky. I don’t have any idea on where and how to start again. I’ve always imagined my future with Jinyoung but after all this mess, everything got blurry.” He explained sadly. Mark was speaking from his heart and Jackson can feel his prolonged agony. As much as he wanted to instruct Mark, he promised himself not to interfere with something that has nothing to do with him. Mark can help himself. I trust him a lot. He’s strong and smart. Jackson says all the time. “Maybe all the misfortune slapped right into my face is a sign that i should stop chasing after him.” he added.

Jackson sipped on his soda and glanced at Mark. “Are you sure? You’re going to give up now?” The man asked, knowing that it can change Mark’s decision.

“He won’t love me anyway. What’s the point of trying?”

And it left Jackson speechless. All along those 6 gloomy years of Mark’s life, he never saw this guy lose much determination as now. The old Mark might see everything negatively yet his love for Jinyoung brought him up and that’s what made him strive. But as of the moment, everything seemed to crash down on Mark and he completely submerged himself back to the sea of loneliness and misery.

“I’m moving on. I have to move on.”

Nine minutes after 1PM and Jaebum happily walks inside a famous clothing store. His fingers were intertwined with Youngjae’s as they looked for a formal attire for Youngjae’s upcoming internship at a local shipping company. “Thanks for coming with me.” Youngjae whispered as he leaned on Jaebums’s shoulder. “No worries, babe. And besides, I want to spend more time with you.” He replied kissing Youngjae’s temple and pulling him into a certain section of clothing. “Get all that you need, I’ll pay for it.”

“No need! I have my own money, remember?”

“Just save it, okay? You can use it some other time. I got my pay check yesterday and the best way to celebrate the fruit of my labor is to spoil my one and only.” Jaebum said in a cheesy yet seductive manner. He was holding the basket as Youngjae picked up some coats and pants. It makes Jaebum happy; seeing Youngjae like this. After all, his man needs a break from all the obstacles that he faced. Youngjae lost his younger sister recently due to a plane crash and Jaebum was there to help Youngjae recover from the pain. He can see how Youngjae’s world fell apart. How he mourned over the lifeless body of his beloved sibling. Months gone by, Youngjae was slowly getting back to his normal life, of course with the help of his friends, family and his Jaebum.

After all the shopping galore, the younger decided to go home. He told his boyfriend that he needs to settle some more documents for his on the job training. They headed to a nearby bus stop and waited for the exact bus to arrive. Jaebum held his hand tightly, not wanting to let him go. “Thank you for today.” Youngjae said, smiling brightly at his lover and pinching his cheek lightly.

Jaebum smiled back and pulled Youngjae into a secured embrace. He nuzzled onto the boy’s soft neck and inhaled his fruity scent. “Anything for you.” The sun was already close to resting behind the thick night sky. He wanted to spend more time with the other but due to certain situations; they just have to wrap this day up. “Call me once you got home, okay?” Jaebum ordered as he escaped from the hug and stared at Youngjae’s soulful orbs. “ I will.”

“Take care. I love you.” Jaebum spoke softly. He ruffled Youngjae’s hair and wrapped an arm around his slender waist.

Youngjae beamed. “I love you more!”

And with that, Jaebum tilted his head into an angle in which his needy lips could meet Youngjae’s. Their lips collided in the sweetest manner. Jaebum likes it this way since Youngjae is still young and prefers an innocent type of relationship. He loves it when Youngjae gives in and kisses him a little harder. They were at the midst of leaving more sugary pecks and Jaebum made it a must to savor every second with his man.

“Im Jaebum!”

A loud voice echoed all over the place. Jaebum quickly detached his lips from the other. He looked forward and didn’t believe what he just saw. “M-Mark?!” he said, clueless and somehow nervous. Mark was angrily walking towards him with a fury feel that can surely kick someone off his feet. It was a short moment of confusion and shock as Jaebum’s brain tried to cope up with what’s happening before him. And the worst thing was realizing that Mark was almost within reach and he was ready to beat the hell out of Jaebum.

And it happened. Mark strongly threw a hard punch which landed on Jaebum’s jaw. The injured one fell down, his back hitting the ground due to his loss of coordination.  Youngjae panicked instantly. He dropped the shopping bags and lowered himself to hold onto Jaebum’s arm. “Hey! Stop it!” Youngjae yelled. Mark didn’t seem to hear him at all so he grabbed Jaebum by his collar and lifted him up. His anger intensified, making another punch as his heated fist met the man’s cheek. Caught of guard and insanely oblivious about the rapid turn out of events, Jaebum received all the hits and blow that Mark mindlessly did without even trying to get back or get even. He’s too immobilized.

Jaebum was close to getting numb at the moment but then he realized that Mark suddenly stopped. He felt himself resting all his weight right at the person in front of him, protecting him from Mark’s inappropriate deeds. Jaebum closed his eyes. Youngjae saved him. The ever so brave Choi Youngjae.  “Who the are you and what do you want!? Why are you hurting my boyfriend?!” Youngjae asked loudly and furiously, notwithstanding the fact that they’re in a public area.

Mark took a deep breath; he clenched his fists and furrowed his brows. Jaebum snapped in a second and tried so hard to regain his missing stability. All the information and responses that he should perform linked in through his brain. He needs to get everything straight before Mark ruins something that isn’t supposed to be broken or damaged. “Your boyfriend?!” Mark questioned, moving closer to Youngjae.

“Yes! My boyfriend! What the –”

“Youngjae-ah, let’s go!” Jaebum said in a weak voice, his left hand holding the younger’s wrist while the other was plastered on his bruised cheek because it hurts like hell.  “No! This guy should learn his lesson!” Youngjae insisted, escaping from Jaebum’s grip and walking closer to Mark. This is not good. Jaebum mentally cursed. He stared at Mark for a moment and realizing that Mark was already looking at him intensely.

“How dare you cheat on Jinyoung! You’re dating him but you’re here, spending some time with someone else?!” Mark spoke, controlling his emotions and handling it as proper as possible. He wanted to break Jaebum into pieces but with Youngjae, being a mediator and all, he just can’t. He can’t drag someone he doesn’t even know into something that’s between him, Jaebum and Jinyoung.

Youngjae blinked for a couple of times and slowly faced his boyfriend. “Jinyoung hyung?!” he asked. It was pretty obvious that he’s feeling quite uneasy and doubtful.  “It’s not what you think! Youngjae, let me explain!” Jaebum begged as if allowing him to spit all the truths was the only moral thing to do.
“Is it true?! Are you really dating Jinyoung hyung?!” Youngjae asked with a raised voice. Jaebum must admit, he hasn’t seen Youngjae with such a bad temper. The latter rarely gets mad and it’s utterly strange to hear him talk with much distrust and anger. Jaebum was afraid. He can lose his man in any second. One wrong move, one wrong word– the end. He can’t afford to lose Youngjae; his precious little jewel, his main source of his happiness and his brightest ray of sunlight. He can’t let their relationship weaken for it took them years to make it unbreakable.

“Let me explain!” Jaebum begged once more, reaching for Youngjae’s hand sincerely but with all his surprise, the younger pulled his hand away and moved few inches away from Jaebum. “I don’t need your tangled explanations! I need a straight and honest answer, Jaebum! Is it hard to say?!” the younger added as his voice shook badly.

He felt so helpless. He’s caught up between saving his relationship with Youngjae and his friendship with Jinyoung. He weighed everything inside his clouded mind and looked down as he massaged his temples. He must come up with a statement based on a decision that he’ll never ever regret. But just before he could respond, a soft yet painful sound broke Jaebum’s heart into billion bits. A sniff. Jaebum slowly lifted his head and saw how Youngjae’s tears roll down his flushed cheeks.”Youngjae! Stop--”

“You’ll tell me to stop crying?! Do you expect me to laugh after knowing that you’re cheating on me? Do you expect me to be completely fine?!” Youngjae struggled to talk although his voice was trembling and weak. Jaebum went closer to hold his man once again but Youngjae stepped backwards. “We’re done, Jaebum. We are done.” He whispered as tears gushed out continuously. And that was the moment when Youngjae walked away.

Jaebum was greatly shocked. All those words were too hard to intake and he just can’t find the exact action to do. He felt like he lost his consciousness for a while. Mark was standing behind him with nothing but anger and a hint of delight. “So your another man already broke up with you! Great! You deserve it. Now Jinyoung should know—”

The younger turned around to face Mark. “For the record, Jinyoung and I are just friends. We never dated, we are not dating and we are not going to date each other.  Never! We’re great friends and you know that, Mark! I don’t even understand why he told you that we’re dating. Youngjae is my boyfriend. He’s the only one that I have and now he’s gone. Thanks, man. Thanks a lot. You just destroyed a relationship. Congratulations.” Then Jaebum rushed to follow Youngjae.

Mark was left in the middle of the place with no one to hold on. His knees got brittle upon hearing Jaebum’s words. It cuts down deep within his insides, knowing that he’s heartless enough to ruin a sturdy relationship. He felt so bad, so guilty, so useless. Well a part of his was screams that it’s not his fault. Jinyoung tricked him first and as a man who loves Jinyoung with all of his heart and soul, its simply normal to protect him. It’s just that everything turned out into a mess. He should’ve approached Jaebum in a better manner. He should’ve acted primmer. Regrets hit him once more. At the end of the day, he’s still the reason why Jaebum and Youngjae broke up. Again, he broke people and maybe he’s born to do it.

Night time and he was watching the late night show on the television. Mark isn’t the type of person who pays attention to certain shows, he’s not even watching it. His favourite action series ended 3 hours ago, not to mention, he didn’t enjoy watching tonight’s episode. His brain was consumed with thoughts of Jaebum, Youngjae and Jinyoung. Until now, he can’t even distinguish a reason for Jinyoung to use such a risky cover up for their situation. It was clear that they didn’t end up flawlessly, but it all came out from Jinyoung himself that he already moved on so there’s no point of patching up stories that could make himself look contented and happy. Anyway, Mark didn’t assume anything and that’s a good move. He’d rather die conscious and believe into something that’s not proven nor stated.

His room was cold and tranquil minus the noise contributed by the television. He looked for the remote somewhere underneath the couch where he lies and instantly turned the TV off. He’ll go to sleep since that’s the only thing that sounds pleasant right now.  He stood up, urging himself to get his towel and get a good hot shower before this stress-filled day ends. All of a sudden, his phone rang. Mark casually reached for at and answered without bothering to look at the caller ID. “Hello?” he spoke.

“Are you free tonight, Mark?”

Mark was stunned when he recognized the voice. I can’t be wrong. “J-Jinyoung?!”

“Yeah. We need to talk.” The other replied wryly. And if Mark could calculate the seconds in between their exchange of words, he can say that Jinyoung is in a hurry. He’s talking really fast and straight. Maybe it’s something urgent and important. “Mark? Still there?” he spoke once more after a long pause at the other line. Mark snapped from his thoughts. “O-Oh! I’m sorry! Yes, I’m still here. Ahmm, where are you?” he asked, looking around to find the best garments to wear.

“I’m at the town park.”

“Okay! I’ll see you in 15 minutes!”

As soon as the call ended, Mark’s body felt like a bomb on timer. He doesn’t even know what to do. His brain went blank but his body was awfully reacting with the situation that he’s into to. Should I take a shower first? Should I get my best clothes out of the drawers? Should I use the expensive perfume that Jackson gave me last month? Mark simultaneously thought of every possible deed to fit this special event. . But underneath all these lies a bed of curiosity. What’s the reason behind Jinyoung’s sudden plea?

He ended up wearing a pair of faded jeans and his last clean shirt plus his ultra-comfy flip-flops. He wasn’t able to freshen up yet he used the perfume that he got from his best bud. How come he got so frantic? He arrived at the park, running like a runner in an Olympic field. “Sorry for making you wait!” Mark apologized as he tried his best to look calm and collected in front of Jinyoung. He can’t lie, Jinyoung looks extremely different tonight. He’s probably from his shift. The first 2 buttons of his top was open, jeans tight as always and hair pushed back suavely. The pink plump lips and faint skin tone made him more luscious for Mark’s eyes. He recalled one of those nights, seven years ago, when they – never mind.

Jinyoung exhaled. “It’s okay.” Short but intense. His words were filled with conviction despite its length. Every passing second becomes an awkward waste of time. They were just standing in front of each other, not even looking at the person across. No one speaks as well. Could this get any worse? “So…why’d you want to talk to me?” Mark asked nervously.

“Jaebum told me what happened earlier. He wants to send his apologies. He doesn’t want to put all the blame on you, he’s just shocked and unstable. Youngjae is so damn important to him.” Jinyoung explained as he watched how Mark’s expressions changed. He seemed so excited and trilled at first but it transformed into a sad and guilty one after hearing those few spoke words.

Mark exhaled. He can’t help but to blame himself for everything. He knew how it feels like; losing the person that’s so important to you. It feels like you have lost yourself as well. “I understand. I’m at fault too. I should’ve talked to him in a diplomatic way. Please tell him that I’m really sorry. I’m willing to help in order to fix their relationship.” he offered, genuinely. He’ll fix other’s fairy tale rather than his own. How kind.

“No need. I already talked to Youngjae. They’re getting back on track by now i guess.” Jinyoung was nervously toying with his fingers. He can’t pick the right words to open up his real agenda. He might falter and he can’t let that happen. He took a deep inhale. “About last time –”

“Yeah, I’m so sorry.” Mark butted in swiftly. He looked right into Jinyoung’s tired bright eyes. “I know I should have not done that. I should know my limitations.” Sadly, he spoke.

The sudden transition of events got Jinyoung a plenty of reasons to feel uneasy. “I want to apologize as well. Im sorry, Mark. I’ve been so rude to you.” It was weird to hear Jinyoung apologizing because first of all, he didn’t do anything wrong. Mark believes that he was the mastermind here. He’s recklessness caused too much trouble between them.

“It’s okay, Nyoung. I guess I deserve it. Don’t worry, I’ll never bother you again.” he sadly said with a forced grin on his face.

Jinyoung scratched his nape. Ugh. This guy surely changed a lot. “To be honest, I’m here to ask you if we can fix all these chaos between us. You know me, Mark. I hate it when I know someone’s mad at me. I don’t want other people to get involved with our issues anymore” and Jinyoung seemed so serious that he could shed a tear any time. It’s true that he can’t let anyone stay mad at him for a long time It kills him inside. Mark was too surprised to respond. Although he knew that Jinyoung is true to his words and was guided by a soft heart, he can’t help but to hesitate. After all that he did, maybe he’s not worth another chance. Not at all.

“I’m not mad at you! I can never be mad at you. You don’t need to force yourself to reconcile with me. Just be happy, I’ll be contented with that.” Selfless, indeed. Jinyoung remained emotionless despite of the emotions that Mark transparently exhibited. “I’m doing this because I want to and it’s the right thing to do.” He spoke which made Mark swim in a sea of happiness. It’s hard to believe but when it’s all said and done, how can he still fight it?

Mark stayed silent for a while. He’s too overwhelmed that words happened to stuck at the back of his throat. He wanted to launch himself to Jinyoung and hug him as tight as he could but he needs to control himself.  Not now, Mark. Not now. He could only smile in return as tears begun pooling on his eyelids. After 6 years of sorrowful fate, happiness hit him like thunder. He longed of this feeling; he longed to be happy, genuinely.

“I’ve forgiven you, Mark. It’ll be great if you’ll forgive yourself as well.”

Mark beamed wider and extended his hand for a hand shake since that’s the only thing that he could do. Jinyoung held his hand as well. It felt so magical and their worlds seemed to stand still, especially Mark’s. “Thank you, Jinyoung. You have no idea on how much you made me happy.” And Jinyoung just sighed in return, hoping that he made the right decision.

Funny how Jinyoung pulled him back when Mark’s at verge of giving up. Maybe it’s a sign— that second chances come to those who deserve it. For Mark, it’s another start. A start that could chance their lives one again.

 I’m willing to do everything just to have you back, Jinyoung.  

Everything.

an: HEY GUYS! IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING THIS FIC FOR A MONTH! IM REALLY SORRY!! :((( I'VE BEEN VERY BUSY WITH SCHOOL WORKS + IM HAVING A HARD TIME ADJUSTING WITH MY SCHEDULE :| IM REALLY REALLY SORRY FOR MAKING Y'ALL WAIT!! I'LL UPDATE MORE OFTEN FROM NOW ON. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WAITING! TT.TT ANYWAY, PLS DO READ THE PAST CHAPTERS IN CASE YOU ALREADY FORGOT HOW THE STORY GOES. HAAHAHHAAHAHA.SO YEAHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!! KEEP THE LOVE COMING! COMMENTS, INSIGHTS, QUESTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS ARE LOVED! TILL NEXT TIME! STAY SAFE!! LOVE YALL!! ☺♥