he thought about it, long and hard and it was a tough process because it kept him awake till three in the morning. jongin had already known about his crush on dksoo since he’s been following his blog for quite a while now. the knowledge that dksoo was actually a lot closer to him than the face of the internet dawned on him when he found out that he’s baekhyun’s childhood best friend. jongin believes he’s observant, part of being shy in his nature that he’d rather listen than talk. he mentally takes note of little details when it comes to his friends, their quirks and habits, how they act and what makes them laugh because that’s what he does. and its easier to observe rather than talk because that way he can guarantee he won’t be able to do anything wrong. also being observant means that he’d at least recognize the people in the school even if he doesn’t know their names. like the girls that would come up to him and give him love letters even though jongin would politely reject them but he remembers them because he feels empathy, knowing how much courage it has taken for them to confess to him because sure as hell jongin won’t be able to do that. although some of them are a bit crazy, it leaves an imprint in jongin’s heart. it’s safe to say he’s seen everyone at least once in the school because they show up in his dance performances, they try to talk to him every day and they give him little gifts that jongin ends up sharing with his friends. but he’s never seen kyungsoo in his school since that time by the lockers and he wonders why.

knowing that he’s best friends with baekhyun, he feels a little queasy because all this time baekhyun has known him but never mentioned him. or maybe he did because he recalls kris and chanyeol saying they know kyungsoo. then that would mean he’s the only one that didn’t know and no one said anything. or maybe he missed the opportunity when baekhyun introduced kyungsoo, he doesn’t know. but he’s dismal because all this time he could’ve known kyungsoo too.

and what made kyungsoo join the lunch table, every one wonders too. kyungsoo told him that it took a while to gather the confidence to joining the music club and baekhyun had said that he tried many times to get kyungsoo to join the lunch table but at least jongin knows one thing for sure: he wants to be closer to kyungsoo.

it’s been a week since kyungsoo had joined them and everyday kyungsoo is there at lunch. when there’s a chance, jongin would sit next to him, capable of only sharing shy glances with each other. the comfort of kyungsoo’s arm brushing against his so subtly, almost as if it was just some kind of ghostly touch jongin is only imagining was enough to let jongin know that he doesn’t have to try to so hard saying something because kyungsoo understands. but jongin wants to talk and someday he hopes he’ll be able to joke around kyungsoo with his other friends surrounding them, without having to worry about embarrassing himself more than he already does alone with kyungsoo.

the time they share together during their spare has also become an occurrence that they both looked forward to every other day during the week. no one said anything officially, it was more of an unspoken agreement that they meet in the music club to play around but within these moments, jongin learns more about kyungsoo.

kyungsoo loves to make corny puns and jongin’s heart sings with glee because he does too. so during the comfortable silence that sometimes settles in after discussing a topic, jongin likes to randomly say a joke he thinks kyungsoo would find funny and the laugh that comes out of kyungsoo’s mouth always proves him right.

kyungsoo loves to listen to soulful music like r&b. he was playing one of his favourite songs by musiq soulchild, quietly humming along to it as they work on their homework during their spare together. sheepishly he’d admit he’s very familiar about kyungsoo’s favourite song genre because the song covers he would post on his blog were all soothing and soulful. some songs jongin finds himself dancing to in the middle of his room, feeling the smooth flow of the music rather than the upbeat and loud, pop-locking and erratically fast, heavy bass music jongin usually dances to. subconsciously, his music playlist changes and he finds some of the songs kyungsoo listens to downloaded in his phone.

kyungsoo has a habit of biting his nails when he’s in deep thought. he teases him once and kyungsoo smacks him for it because jongin had asked what the point of biting his nails is when kyungsoo’s practically chewed it all off there’s nothing left to bite.

he also takes note of the tiny scrunch of kyungsoo’s nose that appears when he’s forcing himself not to smile because of jongin’s stupid jokes. it’s funny because before it scrunches, his nose flares and it makes jongin laugh so hard it becomes hard to breathe.

but it’s the little things that jongin gets crazed up about. its how kyungsoo, although being shy himself, tries to talk more so that they can keep the conversation flowing. how kyungsoo doesn’t seem to get frustrated with jongin when he can’t properly explain himself. how kyungsoo wouldn’t leave or get tired of him because he’s too socially awkward even though he’s known quite well in the school. or how kyungsoo would listen attentively and grasp every small detail jongin says when he would share a story that had happened to him or when jongin would get excited by something. or that time when jongin was taking a nap during their spare and he had asked for something sweet in his sleep. jongin doesn’t remember what he’d been dreaming about but kyungsoo had because at lunch, kyungsoo slipped a mango flavoured candy in his hand telling him to eat it when he starts to feel sleepy in class so he doesn’t doze off.

there’s a flutter in jongin’s stomach that makes him sick and lightheaded just like when blood rushes to his face and it leaves him beet red and hot whenever he thinks about kyungsoo. it’s suffocating and he feels like his heart might burst. his hands get shaky and he doesn’t have complete control of his body and it feels like he’s falling endlessly from the sky. maybe jongin is over analyzing everything and that kyungsoo is just being nice to him. maybe kyungsoo treats everybody the same and he’s just being a friend to jongin. but is it bad to hold on to the secret smiles they share across the lunch table and hope that kyungsoo thinks about him the same way he does? he knows not to be expectant because for all he knows is that if he continues to fall, he might land on heartbreak.

+

at the end of the day, the members of the dance and music club joined together for a meeting. they all met up in the dance room, chattering with one another as they sit on the dance floor before yixing stands up, baekhyun following him after.

“okay, so we’ve all finished planning and every one’s suggestion has been taken into consideration. we had a vote on what we could do and everyone all had fantastic ideas but the results are in!” yixing starts then he beckons baekhyun to speak with a nudge to the arm.

“right! so i finished gathering the results and i will now announce it, drum rolls please!” baekhyun smiles down at chanyeol who has started patting the floor loudly, creating the sound effects of a drum with his boisterous deep voice.  baekhyun opens up the paper he has in his hands containing the results and he flashes everyone a grin.

“sing and dance performance!” baekhyun hollers and the club members cheers, “seems like everyone’s going to be teaching each other how to dance and sing.”

“wait, so i cant have a solo?! that!” a guy says at the back and jongin prevents himself from rolling his eyes at him.

“no, mingguk. but if you do not wish to participate, then you don’t have to be here. remember, you are not obligated to perform this is just simply for fun so if you don’t want to, you can just leave but please keep yourself posted because that doesn’t mean you are off the hook!” baekhyun sternly says, hand on his hip. “you are not required to perform but since you are a club member you will be helping backstage! so, there is paper and a pen over by the table in the corner and those who doesn’t want to perform on stage, write your names down and we will assign you jobs.”

to baekhyun’s surprise, almost half of the members stood up to line up behind the table to write their names down. worriedly, he looks at kyungsoo who was sitting with his back against the mirror in deep thought. he looked like he was arguing with himself whether he should perform or work backstage but then he lifted his head up, eyes darting to someone across the room and baekhyun’s eyes followed, landing on jongin. baekhyun’s eyebrows raises, a small smirk on his face because jongin sends kyungsoo a small reassuring smile that seemed to calm kyungsoo down, helping him relax. baekhyun is probably grinning to himself wide enough that it matches chanyeol’s own grin. baekhyun looks up at chanyeol who was now standing next to him, deeming that baekhyun wasn’t the only one that noticed the exchange between their friends. they both share a knowing look that makes both their heart swell because it seems that things are going to change a tad bit for the better.

+

jongin was on his 8th episode of the new ani