If I had to sum up what has become of my life so far in one word I would say adventure. Everything was a game to me, a mere object of entertainment without much meaning to me. Sometimes in life you lose or win, it is completely relative and that inconsistency is what makes my days more interesting. The uncertainty which entails the inconsistency fascinates me. I just want to have fun and forget about everything I should take seriously. I just want to escape from the routine and walk down a path of uncertainty and wild adventure in order to tint my normal and dull days with something interesting and exciting. I like digging in the yard of destiny and discover secrets kept over time. I’m an adventurer and therefore I discover things. However, I should talk in past tense, because that was my old self, the me who thought to own the world and its hardships, the me who thought it was all a game, the me who thought that all I needed to live was adventure…and that me no longer exists. I think at some point in my life all that was forgotten. The entertainment was my muse, my motivation to survive in this gray world, but everything changed when I met her…

Before her, I had never felt attracted to a girl, or rather, I had never been interested on the opposite gender, since I thought it was a waste of time to focus my attention on those annoying and immature creatures. In fact, I preferred to go out with my friends and go hiking or something instead of looking for a good in a club. But when I saw her everything I believe in disappeared, leaving me only with thoughts of her. I still remember the day when I saw her for the first time, I was with my friends in a coffee shop and she walked into the place as if she didn’t care about anything in the world. Her outer beauty was from another world, but what ended up captivating me wasn't her exquisite and undeniable beauty, but it was her indifference and haughty attitude with which she looked at the world. With just immerse myself in her intense and fragile gaze I could see that she was hiding something and since then I set as a goal to discover what was that something. From the first moment I saw her I knew that I felt irrevocably drawn to her, it was a feeling I had never experienced before, I had never observed a woman before more than five seconds, but there I was, staring and memorizing every move that that lovely girl was doing. I felt like I was floating in the air and the only thing that held me back in this world was her. Yet, when I realized she wasn’t alone and that she was accompanied by another guy I came out immediately from my state of euphoria to return to reality. I tried to convince myself that the fact that she were with another man meant nothing, but when I saw the way she stared at him as if he were all she needed and longed for I knew I had lost without even being able to try. The way in which she held his gaze in such a sweet and innocent way, the manner in which her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree every time he talked to her and the way in which she sought an excuse to approach him like a little girl looking for shelter and security…all of that was horrible for me and witness it was even worse. I said to myself at that moment that I would try to forget her and pretend it never happened, after all she was a stranger and it wasn’t a difficult task to forget someone I would never see again. But how wrong I was, because I ignored the fact that fate is indeed tricky and playful, willing to include me in an adventure that I never looked for in the first place. After that I started to see her nearly everywhere, even in places where I had never seen her before and it became simply impossible for me to get her out of my head. My willpower was bending and the desire to hear her voice intensified by every second that I was in her presence. Therefore in this way, knowing that her heart beat for someone else, even knowing that she would never look me in the same way she did in his presence, even knowing that my feelings would be mocked and destroyed by her, even so, I decided to speak to her, and from that moment my life changed radically. Now it was no longer the adventure what guided my life, but her. Nothing matters anymore, I just want to have her, Jiyeon, my unrequited love, the only thing that no matter how hard I try I can never have, but that doesn’t mean anything, because no matter the circumstances, my door will always be open for her unconditionally. And no matter how many times she tells me to shut that door, because I’m going to open it again and again, expecting to see her beautiful face filled with sorrow. Besides, how I could throw her out my life when she always looks for me to escape from her grim reality? How could I deny her my love when she always, in some way or another, comes back to me like a lost soul? I have to guide her, I want to guide her through the path she should want to follow…beside me. Because even though I know she's in love with another man, I still have hopes that someday she would love me as I love her.

“J-Jongin.” She whispered in a broken voice when I barely opened the door. God, how I love the way in which she pronounced my name with those full and pink lips.

There she was, the woman I love with all my heart, gazing at me with frightened eyes, looking for an excuse, a lie, something that would allow her to get to me. But we both knew that she did not need excuses to have me, because I always wait for her no matter what. I’m always waiting and she knows it.

“Jiyeon.” I muttered solemnly, loving the sound of her name.

When I said her name she stared at me intensely, relief written all over her angelic face, as if she could finally breathe freely, as if she finally felt accomplished and happy, as if she were truly happy to see me. And just like that, with the mere fact of thinking that she had missed me as much as I did, I wrapped her tightly in my arms, wanting to give her the warmth her soul needed. I hadn’t seen for weeks and during her absence all I did was simply wait for her as an abandoned puppy. Therefore have her in my arms was something wonderful, nothing could compare to this feeling I experience every time our bodies unite in the most pure and innocent way…a hug. I could feel her a little tense under my arms and I knew exactly the reason behind that, she was trying to be strong and show me how brave she can be, but we both knew that she was delicate, fragile physically and emotionally. I knew she wanted to pretend fortress in front of that other man, but she didn’t need to hold herself back with me because I would always be there to dry her tears. I squeezed her tighter by the waist and brought my mouth to her ear to whisper her name again, letting her know in this way that everything was fine, that I was there for her and above all that I didn’t blame her for anything. And all of a sudden, she buried her face in my chest and began to cry, as she always does when she comes in my search and I can say for sure that most of the time I see her crying.

Jiyeon is a fragile and almost purposeless girl. She's looking for something that cannot find by herself, not realizing that everything she needs has been within her reach all this time. She just stays in the solitude of her apartment watching how the years go by without even thinking about the things she is missing because of a simple misunderstanding, because of her simple stubbornness, wasting her precious time feeling sorry for herself when she could regain control of her life instead. She is broken, lifeless, with no one who can fix her, not even me, because she pushes me away from her life away whenever she deemed appropriate. This girl is empty, being the only important thing in her life the blind love she has for him, she really believes he can give meaning to her life, not understanding that this is not what she needs, she doesn’t need him, it's what she wants, but not what she needs. Jiyeon needs someone like me, it may sound cocky, but it's true. She needs someone who can protect her and, above all, love her.

When I noticed that her sobs had stopped I pulled away from her gently and examined her face. Her expressive and, at the same time, empty eyes were staring at me intently, as if she wanted to live in my eyes, far away from all pain. Her pale cheeks were wet with tears, which made her look extremely attractive in my eyes, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed seeing her crying like this. I observed each of her features carefully, trying to contemplate every corner of her face, memorizing everything in the process. However, when my eyes fell on her tasty lips, I realized she had a small injury on her lower lip with dried blood around it. I felt how my blood began to boil with pure anger, because I knew very ing well who had done that. That bastard knows no limits and always looks for ways to vent his anger in this weak and dependent girl. I couldn't help but imagine myself beating up that bastard, I wanted to kill him with my own hands, that trash hadn’t only hurt her physically but he also played with her feelings. I hate him, I hate him so much the mere thought of him makes me sick.

“Jongin…” She whispered in her melodious voice. Searching for me with her fearful gaze.

My eyes softened upon hearing her voice, she has this soothing effect on me. I looked into her eyes and I could see the apprehension on them. Jiyeon wanted to say something…no, she was saying something, she was begging me to give her what she needed, what she longed for and I'm not one to deny it, much less when I'm dying to give her everything. I cradled her face in my hands very gently, afraid to break her if don’t treat her carefully enough, and leaned over to rub my nose with hers. I was barely touching her and I could feel already the fire running through my whole body. I coul