Click. 

At the noise of the usually infuriating sound, it lifted a corner of Xi Luhan's lips because it meant Kim Minseok thought a happy thought. The clicking began back in grade school when the chubby boy was diagnosed with depression. Over the years, his angst followed him to high school, but the clicking never stopped once. The depression never stopped either. Luhan should know. The two have been best friends for years and he'd get 2 AM calls out of nowhere of Minseok sobbing into his cell phone. Nonetheless, clicking was recommended by his therapist. To, you know, train him to be happy again. 

~~~~~~

At soccer practices, Luhan ran laps around the field. Minseok was never one to play soccer but he was always there for practice. Sometimes, he'd click just because Luhan ran past. But seeing your friend is a reason to be happy, right? So he clicks. 

~~~~~~

"Hey! Baozi! Wait up!" Luhan called out to his best friend, running to catch up to him. "Why didn't you stop when I called out for you?" Luhan panted, slowing down to a walk. He attempted to get a clear look at Minseok's face but almost tripped over the sidewalk. Luhan took a deep breath just as the older boy mumbled a few words. When Luhan couldn't understand him, Minseok repeated his words again, louder.

"I lost my clicker." 

~~~~~~

"What'd you get for question 5?" Luhan peeked over at Minseok's paper, a sly smile on his face. "Yah! It's simple, figure it out yourself!" Minseok slapped Luhan's arm half heartedly in an attempt to get him away from his homework sheet. The younger boy let out a laugh, returning back to his own paper. Minseok was right, the question was easy but Luhan just wanted an excuse to talk to him. Get closer to him. 

"Hey, I'm grabbing some Gatorade, want some?" Minseok stood up, returning Luhan's suspicious stare. "I thought you hated Gatorade." What the pink haired boy pointed out was true, but Minseok waved it off with a shrug. "You like it." A soft smile graced itself on Luhan's face and he nodded, looking down at the numbers and letters corresponding to math. A simple "Okay" was exchanged and Minseok left his bedroom. Luhan glanced around and made his way back to his homework, but he couldn't think straight. Minseok had lost his clicker, but he didn't seem to mind. He loved that thing, whether it was to annoy Luhan (who gladly pretended that he hated the noise), or just in general because it meant he was happy. Luhan stood up with one thing on his mind. He's finding that clicker and he's starting in Minseok's bedroom. 

~~~~~~

Minseok clutched on to the kitchen counter top, Gatorade forgotten to his right side. Shallow breaths escaped his small mouth as his mind turned numb with the rest of his body. He took a glance at his surroundings when his eyes met with the small kitchen knife that he was not-so-fondly acquainted with. It made him think of 10th grade. It all came back in black and white but he preferred it that way. It made him remember that they were just memories. The past. 

~~~~~~

"Minseok, guess what?" Luhan's cheery voice jumped out at the shorter boy. "What?" It wasn't really an answer to Luhan's question, as he was just confused and alarmed at his sudden words, but Luhan accepted it anyway. A wordless answer, Luhan held up a small metal-looking object. Minseok's clicker. He felt his face fall at the image of his once-lost object. "Oh." Fell through his lips. His mind turned from numb to defeated. How did he find that? He thought. You can't even hide things well, great job Minseok, you failed at life. Again. "T-Thanks..." A choked response forced itself out and Minseok reluctantly grabbed out for it but Luhan was faster. He pulled it back, a hurt look on his face. "Are you... Are you...? Do you not want it?" An innocently pained look matched his tone of voice, making the older boy alarmed even more than before, but for a different reason. "No, no! It's just that... My mom ordered another one. I should probably tell her to cancel it and I thought it'd just be a hassle..." Lie. "I'd be a hassle..." Now that wasn't a lie. At Minseok's words, Luhan shook his head, pink strands flying oh-so subtly. "Come here you idiot." Grasping the clicker tightly in his hand, Luhan pulled his shorter friend into a hug, encasing him in his arms. Minseok was surprised at first by his sudden movements but eventually returned the gesture. "No one thinks you're a hassle. Okay?" Feeling his words mouth onto the back of his head, Minseok let out a small smile and an "Okay" was said in return. 

~~~~~~

The teachers and students were aware of Minseok's clicking but nobody minded it. Sometimes, he'd click a million times per minute but that was okay. It meant he was getting better. 

~~~~~~

"Hey, where's your clicker? Baozi?" Luhan frowned when Minseok gave him a shrug. "I left it at home." 

~~~~~~

5th period history was usually Minseok's happy time. He loved history class. When Luhan asked why history was his favourite class, Minseok gave him a simple answer. It kept him grounded. He'd usually click a lot while the teacher taught. But this time, no clicking was heard. 

~~~~~~

"Where's your boyfriend, Minseok?" Blushing furiously, he opened his mouth to object, trying to say that Luhan wasn't his boyfriend but the taller boy beat him to it. "I'm right here~" Rang through his ears, causing the red to deepen further. His mom chuckled and greeted him nicely, like she always did. Not over the fact that his mom called Luhan his boyfriend and how Luhan went along with it, Minseok called out. "Yah! He's not my boyfriend!" The two other people in the room laughed whole heartedly. They always did this but Minseok always had the same reaction. He would never admit it, but maybe he wouldn't mind if Luhan was actually his boyfriend. 

~~~~~~

It never occurred to him. Never once crossed his little mind, and mind you, all he thought about was soccer, homework, and Minseok. He always seemed so happy, you know? But when nobody looked and Luhan was the only one left staring, he noticed the little things. How Minseok's eyes never crinkled when he smiled. How most of his smiles were occupied with side ones. It never crossed his mind. 

~~~~~~

Nobody noticed how Minseok had changed. He never looked up but he never looked down either. He didn't answer in class. The back of the class was taken by Minseok and he's always in front. Luhan could never figure it out. He doesn't think he could ever figure it out. Minseok was like a Rubik's cube to Luhan. Always within his grasp. Is and always will be fascinated by them. There was one difference though. Luhan could actually solve a Rubik's cube but Minseok? A whole different story. 

~~~~~~

Minseok's eyes started drooping more. They lost their spark but Luhan never left his side. He'd do anything to cheer Minseok up. He'd run past him in soccer practice and everything was the same, but he'd never hear that encouraging click reminding him that Minseok was still there. His movements slurred and his speech was quiet. It was always quiet. The ground seemed to be his happy place, eyes always fixated on it. He stopped clicking. Luhan always saw the clicker in Minseok's small hands but every time he attempted to click it, it was like his body screamed no while his mind screamed to just give up. Luhan tried, he tried everything. Nothing worked but that doesn't mean he'll leave his best friend's side. It just meant that Luhan learned something. 

You can't fix the broken if they're already too far gone.