I'M HERE

"Hyuung~" Jongdae grabs Minseok's body to his tight embrace as he kicks the door behind the smaller man.

"Jongdae?" Minseok says as he pulls away from Jongdae's hug. "Why are you in my hotel room?" 

"I'm your roommate!" The man before Minseok replies with lips curving up and eyes shining in delight.

"What? Why? How about junmyeon? Did he know?" Minseok eyes widen. Jongdae likes to surprise him but this kind of surprise makes him uneasy.

"I missed you." Jongdae whines, ignoring Minseok's questions. "We barely met in the dorm these days. How was your filming?" The younger man links his arm around Minseok's arm as he leads him to sit on the bed.

"Did Junmyeon know?" Minseok repeats after they both sit next to each other on the bed.

"He knew I won't be in the same room as him while we're in Beijing but I didn't tell him I’ll be sharing room with you." Jongdae replies lightly as if they were talking about what to eat for dinner later.

Minseok groans, “It sounds like you're having an affair with me Jongdae."

"Affair huh?" The younger man raises his eyebrows, "well, at least that confirmed my feeling is not one-sided anymore." Jongdae adds as he lays his body on the fluffy mattress. "Come hyung, lie down." 

"Wha- no, you don't understand!" Minseok mutters as he backs away when he feels Jongdae's hand tugging his shirt. Minseok looks at the younger man and hurt flashes on his face.

The older man sighs, "Look, I just don’t want to make our relationship to be more complicated than it already is and I don’t want to ruin your relationship with Junmyeon." Minseok tries to clarify. "I...we made him jealous before and it made things kinda awkward. I dont want it to happen again. I don’t want to hurt anyone." Minseok exclaims while looking at the white wall in front of him.

The smaller man feels a hand pulling his shoulder and this time, Minseok doesn't try to resist. The two guys are lying side by side in silence. Jongdae stares at the ceiling with empty eyes while Minseok closes his eyes; he's thinking whether he had said the wrong thing.

"Junmyeon won't know." Jongdae finally breaks the silence, "he is probably busy talking with stage managers and the others about tonight's concert and stuff." He adds, trying to comfort his hyung but Jongdae knows the older is still not buying it, "Hyung, Junmyeon and I are okay. The only one you'll hurt is yourself and I'm here to make sure you won't do that. I want to help."

"Help me for what?" Minseok turns his head to face Jongdae.

"Don’t you think i didn’t notice?" Jongdae shifts his position, he's using his elbows to hold his upper body. "Your mood slightly drops every time you hear someone mentions ‘Beijing’. Yes, I can see it in your face and here we are, holding our concert in your...Luhan hyung's hometown for 2 freaking days!"

Oh...

Minseok starts to get a grip on Jongdae's purpose about him being in this room.

Knowing that Minseok isn't responding, the taller man between the two continues to talk. "I just… I dont want you to feel down or even worse, do something stupid like trying to meet him secretly in God knows where at times He only knows when and get troubles because of it." Minseok can feel frustration in the younger's voice and he can only stares at his side profile because Jongdae doesn't look at him as he talks.


Silence fills the room once again.

Minseok waits and waits for Jongdae to break the ice but the taller man stays quiet, his eyes still refuse to look at his hyung. The older man patting Jongdae's shoulder before talking but the younger interrupts him. "I'm worried about you I just want to make sure that you know you have me, I'm here if you need ears to listen to your troubles and a shoulder to cry on." He takes a glance to Minseok for a second before he averts his eyes from him, "although I know you don't cry." Jongdae adds, he takes a deep sigh as he begins to talk again, "I won't compare myself with Luhan hyung but... you know, you have me, I'm here with you." Jongde's eyes finally meet Minseok's and he sees the older guy smiles at him.

The smaller man caresses Jongdae's back and slightly pulls his body closer to him. Jongdae turns his vision from Minseok to the floor. Minseok thinks the younger man looks smaller when he's being worried and anxious like this.

"Are you done talking?" Minseok asks with a smile, hands still petting the younger's back. Jongdae nods a little; lips pouting and eyes still staring at the floor.

"Thank you for caring about me Jongdae and sorry I made you worried. Now it's my turn to tell you what's on my mind. I’m gonna be honest with you." Minseok stops touching Jongdae's back as he fixes his seating position. "The word Beijing still reminds me of him. The moment I step on the asphalt at the Beijing airport, I feel weird and my heart hurt a little. This town is his hometown; this town is the last place where I saw him before he decided to go. There are so many good things happened in Beijing and we, all 6 of us, shared many good memories here. Does coming to Beijing make me feel down? Yes, because I have to take the first flight this morning right after my movie filming ended and No, because we'll have a concert, we gonna have fun on stage and see our fans. Do I want to do something stupid like you said ?" Minseok chuckles before he starts taking again, "do you think I still have energy left to think about a plan on how to secretly going out to meet him? Even if I do, I don't know if I can go back to this hotel safely. I don't know Beijing streets and it'll be troublesome if I get lost... well, unless he really wants to see me and is responsible for my safety but I don't think he'll do that right now, he's busy preparing his next project, a movie or album I think, I can’t remember." Minseok takes a breath; he realizes he has been talking a lot. He looks at his right side where Jongdae is sitting. Their eyes meet and apparently, Jongdae has been staring at Minseok this whole time, the older man curves his lips before he continues, "I'm absolutely aware that I have you and the other members too but they don't know me as much as you do so yeah.. I really appreciate your effort, it's nice to know there's someone who is constantly worried about me but I'm okay Jongdae really, thanks." Minseok says while smiling before he gives Jongdae's nape a quick message.

The younger man beams, he feels satisfied that his hyung, who he really cares about, finally open up to him. "Thank you for telling me your thought. Do you feel better?" Jongdae puts his left hand on Minseok's right thigh.

"Yeah, much better I guess." Minseok puts his hand on Jongdae's left hand and gives it a squeeze.

"Now, let's lie down and take a nap. I'll help you to unpack and prepare for rehearsal later." Jongdae changes his sitting position to give Minseok a room to lie down.

"Alright."

"Do you want me to stay?" Jongdae asks though it's more like an offer, as he helps Minseok taking off his shoes.

"Do you want to stay?" The older guy returns the questions.

"You know I'll never say no if you ask me like that." Jongdae replies after he manages to take off Minseok's shoes and place it under the bed.

"That's why I asked." Minseok utters with grin on his face before he falls back on the bed.

Jongdae laughs; he jumps on the bed and cover his and Minseok's body under the blanket as he shifts closer to the older man, placing Minseok's right arm as a pillow and tangling his right leg on Minseok's legs.

Jongdae closes his eyes and purrs when the smaller man caressing his hair. Minseok stares at the ceiling above him while listening to the clock ticking. "This really feels like we're having an affair." Minseok mumbles, more to himself.

"I like it when you say 'we', can you use it more often when we're together?" Jongdae wraps his right hand on Minseok's waist.

Minseok stops caressing Jongdae's hair, the younger waits for a reaction but he realizes the older won't give it. "Honestly, it's more like I am the one who's having an affair...but I disagree because according to you, there's nothing between us, right?" Jongdae opens his eyes to look at Minseok.

"...I don't know." The older guy responds, eyes staring at the distance.

"I'm okay with this kind of relationship though, whatever it is. How about you?" Jongdae falls back on Minseok's arm-pillow before he closes his eyelids again.

No response.

Jongdae finishes counting until sixty and if Minseok isn’t playing with his hair right now, Jongdae would think the smaller man has fallen asleep. Jongdae prefers Minseok who talks a lot rather than quiet Minseok who keeps him guessing what's inside his head.

"Say you don’t want me and I’ll leave your room now." Jongdae states, eyes still closed. "On the count of three."

"1..." The clock ticks three times before Jongdae says the next number.

"2...” It ticks four time.

"3..." Jongdae doesn't wait for the clock to tick. He looks at Minseok right in the eyes, expecting the older guy to say something, anything.

Minseok exhales before he looks back at Jongdae and says, "I'm sorry I can't say that."

"I knew it."  Jongdae grins before he pecks Minseok on the cheek. It takes the smaller man by surprise.

"God! Junmyeon will kill me if he knows." Minseok mutters as he locks his arm on Jongdae's neck and pulling him closer before he shakes the younger's body.

"Hyung! he.wont.know!" Jongdae says as clear as he can in between Minseok's arm and body. "Stop worrying and get some sleep!" Jongdae pinches Minseok's waist. It's not that hard but it’s enough to make the smaller man loosen his grip.

"Ouch, you pinched me!" Minseok is surprised by Jongdae’s action; he ruffles the younger's hair as a revenge.

Jongdae tries to stop Minseok from messing his hair but it's not that easy, "Ugh… hyung, stop!" Jongdae sits up and chuckles as he manages to take the older guy's hands away from his hair. "Seriously, do you have to use that much strength on me, hyung?" Jongdae nags while fixing his hair.
Minseok laughs; he sits and helps Jongdae to fix his hair, "You started it." He mumbles.

"What did you say?!" Jongdae's voice rises.

"Nothing." Minseok says immediately, “play time is over, let's take a nap now, okay?" Minseok pulls Jongdae to lie down this time. Jongdae snuggles into Minseok closer than before, he can scent Minseok's perfume and he knows he will get a good nap. 
The older guy turns his head slightly and the scent of Jongdae's shampoo meets his nose. Minseok inhales the comforting scent as he closes his eyes. Even though he can't forget the sad memories that happened in this town yet, at least he has Jongdae who will keep his heart intact and feel okay again.

***END***