First Love

Little Lee SungJong was only five when he fell in love for the first time. He didn’t really know what being in love meant, but he watched enough Disney movies to have an idea.

The moment he saw Kim MyungSoo his heart beat faster, his small hands got a little bit sweaty and he became nervous all of sudden. The boy was his classmate, but they never talked with each other, still SungJong thought he was really handsome and amazing, just like a fairy tale prince.

But nobody told little SungJong that princes didn’t exist, so when he saw his first love ripping a piece of paper from his notebook and eating, his world fell apart. He fell in love with a boy who ate paper!

First love just !

First Heartbreak

When SungJong was eight, he felt the pain on having your heart broke by the person you like.

There was this older boy, his name was Lee Howon, and SungJong thought he was really cool, he played all the sports in the world and was good at all of them! The best thing was that nine-year-old boys didn’t eat paper, so SungJong was sure that nothing could make Howon less perfect.

Howon was so perfect in SungJong’s eyes, that he didn’t know what to answer when the other asked if he could play with him on the sandbox, his cheeks becoming redder and redder by each second.

“I’m talking to you! Answer me!” But Lee Howon was not feeling the same, getting angry at the younger only staring at him and not saying anything. “Oh my god, you are so dumb you can’t even speak!” He screamed before turning his back and going away, leaving a young SungJong with teary eyes and his first heartbreak.

First Kiss

Somehow, SungJong and MyungSoo became friends. It was a natural process when they entered middle school and end up in the same group of people, putting the past behind and forgetting about the paper eating incident when they were five.

They were now eleven and things were becoming more and more difficult. Adolescence was coming, just around the corner, and all their friends were already feeling the hormones kicking in on their bodies. Everybody was confused by their bodies changes, their line of thinking was also changing: they didn’t want to be kids anymore, they wanted to grow up.

Grown up people kiss, experience love, so everyone was expected to do the same.

“Hey, MyungSoo… Can I ask you something?” Both boys were on SungJong’s house, sitting on the sofa and watching Naruto while eating some sandwiches his mom made.

“It depends, it’s important? Because Sasuke is about to kick those bad guys asses!” MyungSoo said all excited, eyes fixed on the tv, shoving an onion sandwich on his mouth.

“Have you ever kissed before?” SungJong was direct to the point, a little blush appearing on his cheeks, a little bit embarrassed with the subject.

MyungSoo didn’t even look at him, eyes still fixed on the screen. “No, have you?”

The answer got SungJong off-guard. MyungSoo was handsome, there were a lot of girls in their class that liked him and even confessed, he thought his friend already had his first kiss. He never imagined that someone beside him never kissed before. “No, but… I told Bomi and Kibum that I did…”

Commercials started and finally MyungSoo looked at him, still eating. “Why would you do that?”

“Because they made fun of Eunji for never kissing… They said she was weird and I didn’t want to be weird.” SungJong said, a little bit sad. He wasn’t weird, he just never found someone he liked to kiss – well, he did, but things never really worked out -.

“I never kissed and I’m not weird!” MyungSoo said a little bit angry, shoving the rest of the sandwich on the plate at the table, mad that they friends thought like that. “I don’t want to be weird either.” And then their eyes meet, none of them wanted to be weird or made fun of.

The same idea crossed their minds, it felt right and it was ok, nothing could go wrong, right?

Naruto was back on tv, but none of them cared, bodies getting closer and already feeling each other breath on their faces. Their lips finally touched and they both opened their mouths, putting all their knowledge about kissing to prove: don’t bite, move your tongue – imagine you are eating an orange, like some magazines said! -, don’t open your eyes and always remember to breathe.

The kiss was messy and short, both separated with ugly faces, staring at each other in pure horror.

“This was so gross! I can’t believe people like this, is like spitting on someone’s mouth!” MyungSoo was the first to speak, rubbing his mouth – and maybe tongue too – on his sweater sleeve. 

SungJong on the other hand looked like he was about to throw up. “What was that taste?!” He screamed, then noticing the rest of the sandwich the other was eating, onions coming out from it. He was definitely going to throw up. “OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO GROSS! YOU KISSED ME AFTER EATING ONIONS, I HATE YOU!”

If first love , then first kissed even more.

First Boyfriend

Kim Sunggyu was SungJong’s first boyfriend. The boy was a senior on his last year of high school, while SungJong was the cute and innocent freshman.

Their first meeting was during school lunch, SungJong was about to get some pizza on the cafeteria, but was quickly stopped by the older, who smiled at him.

“Never get the pizza, most people don’t know, but they are made with leftovers from last week’s lunch.” He said before winking and leaving SungJong alone, his heart beating faster with that small contact and chat.

After that, they met again on different occasions, always smiling at each other – even if they were only meeting in a hurry at the corridor -.

It didn’t take long for Sunggyu to confess, asking SungJong to be his boyfriend.

He happily accepted and, at the young age of fifteen, SungJong was experiencing his first relationship, wishing with all his heart that they could last forever and ever.

(Almost) First Time

SungJong had been dating Sunggyu for two years now, the older was already in college while SungJong was still on his last year of high school, losing his time imagining the moment he also entered college and they would share a dorm, be that one campus’ cool couple.

They kissed – now it was good - and did everything that couples did. Beside one thing: .

was something that freaked him out, first times were important and there were many stories that would scary even the bravest person.

But SungJong still wanted to do it, he dreamed about making love to Sunggyu and all the romance about “becoming one”, he decided that during the weekend – when his parents would travel – he was going to have his first time! Still, he had so many doubts, so instead of looking for information on stupid magazines, he decided to ask his friends, they would give him good advice.

“Well, do you have a date or anything yet? Because you know, you can’t have surprise , that is not how it happens!” Kibum was the first one to speak, surprising the younger.

“Wait, what? I can’t have unplanned ? Why? It’s because of preparations and all the stuff with lube?” SungJong was confused, he did have questions, but they were quite simple, was not complicated… Right?

“Oh sweet child…” Bomi smiled at him, shaking her head.

“SungJong, dear, you can have surprise , but not for your first time, because you know… Better not have any extra surprises…” Kibum tried to control his laugh, doing his best to not make the other embarrassed.

“Please, don’t ask.” This time was EunJi who spoke, already knowing where that story was going, hiding her face in her hands.

“But why? What surprises?” SungJong wanted to know, he needed to be prepared for the weekend!

“You need to… You know, clean yourself so you don’t… You know, do it on him…” Bomi tried to explain before Kibum had the chance, doing her best on not being explicit, but SungJong couldn’t understand what the hell she meant by “clean” and “do it”.

Kibum noticed and finally spoke with all the words. “You have to clean your so you don’t on him.” SungJong could feel all the blood on his body going to his cheeks. “You don’t have to always do this, but it’s your first time and it’s better doing it than regretting it latter.”

After the talk, SungJong was more than scared. He did everything just like Kibum told him, it was gross, but he did it. But when the time finally came SungJong didn’t really do it. His was, kind of, ready, but still didn’t feel right, he didn’t want that.

Sunggyu kissed him on the lips and told it was ok.

SungJong knew it wasn’t ok, he knew the other had been waiting for a long time. Therefore, when Sunggyu broke up with him one month later saying that he found someone else at college, SungJong was not really that surprised, only sad.

First Time

For some reason destiny loved to play with SungJong.

He never truly understood how things went that way, but one night after some crazy party at college when he was nineteen, he end up on his bed with MyungSoo.

They were both a little bit – maybe a lot – drunk, way too many tequila shots for one night. Both of them couldn’t really walk without the other's help, hugging each other’s waist and walking down the dorm’s corridor, looking for whoever room came first.

SungJong’s room was closer, so he tried his best looking for the right key and putting on the keyhole, but MyungSoo felt way to dizzy to wait, pushing himself against SungJong and pinning the other against the door. It wasn’t something ual or anything, he just found hard to keep himself straight, but the moment his body made contact with the other things changed.

When SungJong finally opened the door, it was his time to pin MyungSoo against it, their lips smashing together and hands clumsy touching every single part of their bodies.

It didn’t take long for the clothes being taken one by one, until they were both – and fortunately way too drunk to feel embarrassed about it – on the bed.

This time SungJong wasn’t prepared - heck! -he wasn’t even sober! He also didn’t know if this was MyungSoo first time as well, he also had a few boyfriends during all those years. But nothing really matter at that moment.

Everything was weird and good at the same time. They clearly didn’t know how to touch each other or what position was the best, they also couldn’t keep themselves for coming like in , way too fast and way too messy.

Nobody told SungJong that hey, s are good! But the taste is not good like make it look like – and don’t let end up in your hair, SungJong discovered there was nothing good with in your hair, that was sticky! -, the whole smell was awful and he had to spray some perfume on his room the next day.

And nobody told him how awkward having with one of your best friends can be, especially the morning after when they decided that it would be to pretend that nothing ever happened.

First Marriage

When SungJong was a little kid, he imagined this perfect prince as his first love, things didn’t really work out and after that the dream of a fairy tale prince was crushed.

Until he met Nam WooHyun.

The man was perfect, tall, handsome, smart, funny, and romantic. For years, SungJong couldn’t believe his lucky on finding the other and being his boyfriend.

They met at work, both were employers at a huge company, one project together was enough for them to fall in love and start a relationship.

Four years went by; SungJong was twenty-five when WooHyun popped the question with flowers, dinner in a fancy restaurant and – of course – kneeling in front of him, velvet box in hands with a huge diamond ring inside.

After so many years of frustrated relationships and encounters that didn’t go anywhere, he would get his happy ending, his prince charming.

First Divorce

For five months, SungJong truly believe he was the happiest person on earth and life couldn’t get better.

This was until he discovered about WooHyun's affair and – most important and horrifying – newborn baby.

He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the baby boy, he was identical to his husband, there was no way he could deny the fatherhood. He found out about the affair not because WooHyun told him, but the girl did it.

She was an intern at the company, working under WooHyun at the time. A year before the wedding they started the affair, none of them was in love, it was pure ual. But unfortunately, she got pregnant and didn’t have the heart to abort. WooHyun got completely crazy with the idea of SungJong finding out about it, deciding he would give her all the money she needed, but she should never tell anyone about him being the father.

WooHyun was so desperate that he asked SungJong to marry him.

Not because he loved the other and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, but because he was scared SungJong would leave him if he found out the truth. He only asked him in marriage so he would stay.

The girl felt bad for keeping the secret, it didn’t feel right, so she decided to tell SungJong everything.

On that same night, SungJong left their shared apartment and called a lawyer, getting himself ready for a divorce.

Maybe love just wasn’t for him.

Second

Almost one year later, things were starting to be ok again. When SungJong left his apartment with WooHyun and he had no money or whatsoever to restart his life. He went to Kibum’s house and stayed there for a while, then Bomi's, EunJi's… At the end, he went back to his parents’ house.

Never had he looked at his house the way he looked when he came back. A part of him was embarrassed to come back, but another – a bigger part - was fascinated by all the memories. He could clearly remember coming home when he was five and telling his mother that his prince, MyungSoo, ate paper; when he came back home crying because Howon yelled at him and broke his heart. And there was the sofa where he had his first kiss with MyungSoo, such a messy memory.

And how could he forget about the crazy nights when he would get Sunggyu inside his room without his parents knowing – now he thinks they probably knew and just didn’t care -?

There were many memories at the house, all of them making him remember about his first experiences. None of them worked out, the contrary actually; they were all bad and sometimes messy.

The thing about first times that nobody tells you is that they are mostly not meant to work out. They are experiences that are going to help you grow, to shape you into a better person who is not going to make the same mistakes. First times are messy, bad, and it’s ok for them to be like that.

If the first time doesn’t work, the important thing is to move on and try again. Give yourself a second chance, don’t stop trying.

SungJong was happy, now he was ok enough to say that there was nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, his first marriage didn’t work, but just like all his first times.

And he was fine with this.

For that whole year, he spent almost all his time getting his life back on tracks and he felt like he was finally ready to move on.

He said goodbye to his parents, thanking them for let him come back, but now it was time to go again. He rented a small apartment next to his new workplace – there was no way he could still work on the same place as WooHyun -, nothing amazing, but it was more than enough for now.

The moving truck went there the day before, leaving all the boxes and things spread at the apartment, so today he would have his first day – oh man, first! – at his new apartment and he would spend putting everything in order. His friends said they would help, but he decided that at least he should start and not wait for everyone to help him out.

He was looking for the right key to open the door, he never noticed how many he had before – there was his parents’ house key, Kibum’s, Bomi’s, EunJi’s… For god’s sake, he even had MyungSoo’s key there! -. He was so busy looking that he didn’t hear the door next to his open and his neighbor come out.

“Oh, are you the person who just moved in?” His words got SungJong by surprise, looking to the side to see who had just talked to him. The man was tall, really tall, probably taller than 180 cms. He had a cute gummy smile. Maybe SungJong stared for way to long because the guy laughed, extending his hand. “Hi, I’m Lee SungYeol and I think I’m your neighbor?”

SungJong smiled back, a little bit embarrassed by his reaction, shaking the other’s hand. “Hi, Lee SungJong and, yes, I’m your new neighbor. I just moved in, I mean… The moment I get inside and start and and and- Well… You know, move in.” He kicked himself mentally, just like everything on his life, first impressions also ; the guy probably thought he was an idiot.

To his surprise, SungYeol laughed again, smiling even more at him. “Well, if it’s your first day I think you maybe don’t have food or anything there, right? So, if you want, I could take you to dinner later. Get to know my new neighbor better.” SungJong felt his cheeks get a little bit warm, nodding.

“I would love to have dinner with you.”

If your first time doesn’t work, just try the second.