People say there are 365 days in a year. So it would mean 8760 hours in a year. But also 525 600 minutes. And 31 536 000 seconds. Luhan scoffs. He has done the math and, as much as they like to assure the contrary, humans are ignorant beings. Time is a constant... it doesn't slow down, nor does it speed up. Yes, every four years is a leap year... but human only acknowledge it in their minds every 4 years because they are too lazy, and most of people don't even know why there are such things as leap years. They just go on with the flow and don't try to think. Because it's so much simpler to just not think. The year is made of a constant 365.25 days. The ".25" doesn't go away when there's no official leap year. Luhan has counted. Oh yes, he has counted because he had nothing else to do. Only time was invading his thoughts. Time... and Sehun. So one year is 365,25 days, 8 765.81277 hours, 525 948.766 minutes, 31 557 600 seconds. All this numbers before he could hold Sehun in his arms. And Luhan has counted them. *** 364, 03 days left Sehun was gone, and Luhan was all alone. His cheeks were puffy, soaked with tears, his hands sticky from the snot he kept wiping off, his eyes red and burning from sweating, tear ducts dry and irritated from the continuous crying, body rusty from the kneeling position he had stayed into since he had discovered the note. Luhan had spent his day mourning over his loss, orange post-it always teasing him, reminding him that it was all too true. And it hurt so, so god damned much. "Luhan, we should go." A soft voice called. The said - one hadn't even heard the person entering the room. He could barely feel the two tender hands holding him by the shoulders and steadying him to get up. He didn't pay attention to the fingers caressing his cheeks in attempt to dry them off. He didn't even notice that he was now pressed against the man's chest, freeing new tears he thought he didn't have on the surface of the person's shirt. "He'll come back." Baekhyun tried to reason, patting Luhan's back. But Luhan felt as if time had stopped for forever the moment he had woken up, leaving him stuck in endless solitude. But time was still flowing as it was bound to. And Luhan started counting. *** 332, 75 days left. Luhan was sitting in the amphitheater, slumped in his chair as some unknown teacher was rambling on about some psychology lesson. The man was talking, but Luhan couldn't hear. His eyes were focused on the title of the lesson. "The Attachment Theory." He started bitting on his lower lip, eyes stinging. But he still kept on reading: "The Attachment Theory of Love proposes that the type of romantic relationship one has as an adult is determined by the type of relationship one had with one's primary caregiver as a child. In other words, the connection or attachment we had with our primary caregiver, usually our mother, as children determines the way we behave in adult relationships. This theory originated from John Bowlby, who believed that a warm, close relationship with one's mother is just as crucial to a baby as food and oxygen. Without it, a person would not be able to develop normally - socially or emotionally." Luhan shivered, reminded of his mother. The smell, the touches, the noises. They would still hunt him. From time to time. Before, he had Sehun beside him. But not anymore. A violent sting pierced through his lip as he felt a hot liquid dripping from it into his mouth. Blood. "Attachment theorists predict that children who have an avoidant relationship with their caregiver as infants grow up to have the least intimate, short-term adult relationships. As children, these individuals may have caregivers who are aloof and ignore attempt to develop intimacy. So, as adults, they find it difficult to develop trusting relationship and are most likely to engage in physical relationships that are void of love." The amphitheater's door slammed as someone hurried out of the class. Physical relationships that are void of love. Sehun... This day, the people that passed by this cabin toilet all heard the same mourning cries. But nobody knew it was Luhan. *** 296,18 days left. Luhan was walking by a park when a couple caught his attention. They were lying on the grass, the girl's head on the boy's chest as he was her hair absent-mindedly while she was pointing at the sky, probably playing the game of cloud shapes. Gritting his teeth, he tugged on the straps of his bag and paced up, avoiding any eye contact with the chestnut tree. The wind ruffled through his hair and he shivered, longing for the warm embrace that he once owned. Sehun... He didn't see the pole in front of him and when he felt the wetness on his cheeks, the passengers probably thought it was due to the impact. Nobody knew Luhan was crying because of Sehun. *** 243, 03 days left. When the phone rang in the middle of the night, Luhan sprang out of his bed, almost crashing on the ground. But he didn't care, he reached for the handset: "Sehun?!" His breathing stopped. "Yah Luhan! Why didn't you came with us at the club? The beer is good here-." An apparently drunken Baekhyun mumbled on the other side of the line, loud music echoing in the background. Luhan hang up, crawling back into his bed where he buried himself in his blanket. But the furniture still felt ghostly cold. He peered at the empty place beside him. Sehun... Luhan spent the night turning around in his bed, wondering why he had no news. There were also probably some tears shed in secret. All that because of Sehun. *** 219, 71 days left. Luhan was sitting in the staff room where his friend's were currently taking a break. Suho and Kyungsoo were talking about a certain Yixing patient while Baekhyun and Chanyeol -who had nothing to do here but well- were cuddling on the sofa, oblivious to the world. The lonely man averted his gaze, playing nervously with the crystal phial in his hand.. Sehun... Suddenly, a echoing clinking sound pierced the silence, all heads turning toward the source of the sound. "Luhan?" Baekhyun's hesitating tone called. Tha said boy looked up, extracted from his daze: "Uh-" The small psychiatrist ran at his side, grabbing him by the wrist. Then he noticed. The red on his hand. Blood. His blood. And the broken glass ripping his flesh. "Luhan! How did you do that?!" Baekhyun pulled him by the sleeve, leading him to the staff dorm room where he kept his first aid kit. No word was pronounced while the small doctor extracted the smithereens of crystals introduced in his skin. When the bandage was done, neither of them dared to break the silence. Luhan simply tugged at Baekhyun's shirt, pulling him closer. And without a word, he leaned his head against the latter's shoulder, silently letting out his sorrow, soaking the psychiatrist'