I layed on my bed as I stared at the white ceiling. Yeah, I must've been crazy. I gave a small, incredulous smile as I peered around my trashed room sideways.

"Myungsoo."

I frowned and looked up to see the familiar face at my doorway.

"Dongwoo? How'd you get in?"

"Key," he answered and easily tossed me the key I had hid in the tree in front of my house. I stared at it and sat up. "Why are you here?"

"I think you need help," he laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Why?" I laughed.

He eyed my room, "You obviously need help."

"I don't need help," I took his hand off my shoulder, "Just because my room looks like this doesn't mean I need help."

"I thought you got over Seohyun a while ago," he totally ignored what I said.

"Who said this was about Seohyun?" I asked. I only realized how defensive it sounded after it came out of my mouth.

"So it is," he picked up a spotted banana peel and tossed it in the rotting, black trash bag in the corner of my room and shuddered. He kicked around my clothes strewn across the stained carpet into a corner and sprayed Febreze on it.

"So your here to clean?"

"No, It's just that I can't stand this mess," he sat down in the one spot of carpet that was visible.

"I want to help you get over her."

"I am over her. Do you know how pitiful you make me sound?" I scowled.

"You are pitiful."

"Who told you to come?"

"A little birdie told me that they saw you yell in public like a mad ma-"

"I just wanted to let out my feelings."

"Feelings.... for Seohyun?"

"Yes-"

"No," I corrected myself quickly.

He raised an eyebrow.

"What are we even arguing about right now?" I sighed and got off my bed.

"I bet you can't even go a day without thinking about her."

I didn't let a sound peep out of my mouth- because it was the truth. But I had a good reason. She was like my first everything- excluding Jinah. I scowled. Jinah. Ew.

He gave a satisfied smile and leaned forward.

"I told myself that I just wanted to watch her from afar-" I started.

"-like a stalker?"

"No.. Just as someone who wants to love someone... but can't."

He leaned back, "I hate to tell you this but there are things you have to learn."

I stared at him intently.

"One. If you love a girl, you love her and you show it."

"What the he-"

"And two," he cut me off, "If you cheat on someone, you never loved them."

I grit my teeth. I did love her though. People would just keep telling us that we weren't meant for each other but it didn't matter because I loved her and I knew it. Every second I cheat on Seohyun, I was drilling a deeper hole into despair and I knew it. I was thinking of Seohyun every single time I was with Jinah- even if I did it unconciously.

"What's the point of worrying about your relationship with her if there's no hope in you two getting together again?"

"Who said that you could just barge into my house?" I clenched my fists.

"I don't want you two ruining each other." He turned around and left as quickly as he came, leaving with a quiet shutting of the door. I heard his car vroom away as I glared at the pile of clothes in the corner. I know he was trying to help me but I didn't like how he did it.

I breathed loudly and grabbed my coat. Maybe I could see Seo one last time.

Seohyun

I stared at my phone and let my finger linger over the green "call" button.

Should I?

I was worried about Myungsoo. He looked crazily frustrated when he suddenly stormed out of the resturaunt like that. Not that it was any of my business. It's just that- we were still friends, weren't we?

It seemed like all the crying I did over Myungsoo over the past year all of a sudden never happened. I didn't want to lie to myself again but I'm starting to believe that I'm beginning to get over him now. Slowly. Very slowly.

I dared to give him a smile today when I was eating with Woohyun. I don't know if he saw me though, I turned away before he could acknoweldge me back. I sort of wish he didn't see me.

I scowled. Why was I even worried about something like this?

I set down the phone and made my way over to the balcony. I haven't seen Sungjong or his cousin in a while. I felt lonely. I didn't like to admit it to myself but I never got the opportunity to make friends. Ever since I was young, my parents would seperate me from school people and tried to have me hang out with their friends' daughters and sons. Of course that ddidn't work out well. After I seperated from them, I thought I would finally fit into a social group... but my high school "friends" all died away. When I got to university, I was so busy with my multiple jobs, I rushed all around Seoul and then locked myself up in my room to study. I didn't even know 1/10th of the people in my classes.

The only people that truly remained were Howon- of course- and Myungsoo. But now Myungsoo's fading away from me too.

I don't understand why I make things so complicated for myself. Mom always told me that I thought too much. It's true.

I slipped back into my apartment and put on my converse, locking the door behind me. There was a scuffle of feet as I came outside and I looked around but there wasn't anyone there. I frowned and looked around the corner and the stairs but there wasn't anyone.

I shrugged and trot down the stairs as the cold winter air surrounded my body. I smiled as I walked to Myungdong and looked at all the small shops and couples and little kids running around and smiling. I pushed all the thoughts of having to organize another presentation tomorrow and enjoyed the serene chaos of the shopping district. It felt good, I haven't done this in a long time. I made my way through the crowd as I enjoyed the night to myself.