I walk around the place. Observing everything I see, from the road to the trees to the sky. I shouldn't be here. Why? Im escaping from something. I wonder what the members are doing right now. Probably sleeping since it's still 0530 a.m. I go where ever my feet bring me. It stopped when I reach a door. A clear glass door. Is this push or pull? I pull the door and make my way to the counter. I told the nurse that I'm visiting someone.

　　I felt something tingling. I'm cold. I should've bring my jacket too. I feel like I'm in South Pole right now. I sound exagerating and I know it. Not my fault it feel so cold here. The staff could have put the AC higher. Did they set it like 5゜c 

　　I finally arrive infront a door. A feeling overshadow me, guilt. My hand slowly goes to the door knob. Slowly opening the door to avoid making sounds. Once I get in the room, I quickly shut the door. I look around the room. A long sigh filled the room. I want to stop blaming myself but I can't. It's my fault afterall. The other member tried to comfort me though I want to be alone and think about it. I don't want to hurt them when I already hurt one. 

　　I stand beside the person and study her face. Scars on her cheek and forehead are vanishing, her cast has been removed. Her face look more clear now. Streams of tears rolling down my cheek without me knowing. Colours in my face slowly drain. A hint of dissapoinment in me. This lips curved downward. 

Miss you, I really miss you.

"Can you wake up?" I told her.

　　I sit next to her and lean myself toward the bed. I rest my chin on my arm and sigh once again. I observe her again. Admiring her facial features. I brush her bangs that she cut a week before she got into accident. It remind me so much of the first time I met her in Roommate. She look beautiful both when she have makeup on and without it. It has been a week since she like this. It has been a week since she got here. It has been a week I feel lonely, aside from GOT7 of course; they are my family, my guy friends and my team mates. You are my friend, my girl friend, my best girl friend *cough* my wife. Wish I could be more than friend. I don't know what should I feel. Lucky, like the song?

Lucky I'm in love with my bestfriend

Lucky to have been where I have been

　　I replay our memories. The one when we go to buy a pot. Dongwook and Seho left us to buy the pot. You were afraid to get on the...I don't know, trolley? At least I get to show my muscular arm. Well, what can I say, I'm the wild and y Jackson Wang. When we stopped at a electronic store, there were many television there. A television cought our attention. A music program. GOT7 was promoting 하지하지마 that time. I smiled to the fact you cheer on us like how the fans usualy do, or way more crazy. I like the fact you cheer on us like crazy on public. You seem happy and you doesn't mind people around you and keep supporting. That is one of the part that I like about you. Since we were really exhausted, we feel asleep next to eachother. I close my eyes remembering those memories.

　　A click sound filled the silent room. I look up and saw two figure standing, looking at me with pity. He is holding something something.

"Hyung..." Said one of them.

"Bambam, Yugyeom." The two words that I say.

　　Yugyeom hand in the thing that is in his grip for a while. It was a not really childish looking diary with lock. A pastel coloured with jar filled with star as the picture, diary. Is that really her style? It seem wierd. I look at them as if I'm asking 'did you read her diary?' They said no. They said that Youngji's manager told them to give it to me. Youngji told him that this diary hold many secret about something. Bambam give me the key of the book so I can open it. I look at each page, no date and time. I read it from the first page.

I'm so nervous!! First day of filming Roommate Season 2. I wonder who the other cast are. I'm in the same room as my sunbae, Nana from Orange Caramel and the comedian Lee Gukjoo. They are really fun person to be with. There is this one person that caught my attention, Jackson from GOT7. He make the flips look so cool. When he ask me what my favourite number is, I answer 7. He got excited and it hit me, 7 and GOT7! No wonder. Isn't 7 is a lucky number?

　　So, this is a diary she start when roommate started. I smile a bit knowing that I am the person that caught her attention. I ask myself, what about KangJoon? I read the diary. She wrote about the; English lesson, the she is my wife. Acting class, romeo and juliet, I remember that I kept on slapping myself. Shopping with Dongwook and Seho. Both, the one we bought groceries and the pot, the part that me and her slept in car...uh that sound wrong. Then, I turn to the next page.

Wedding propose. Instead of him, I chose Bambam. Mianhe Jackson. Why did I do that? Because of fans. I know we have many shippers but there are also many haters. These haters even threat Jackson, that they will leave GOT7 fandom if he keep on being with me. I even recieve many hate comment. I can't read English but I know some. They said I'm ugly, I fake, a and all. Well, that is wierd. I have right to befriend with who. It's not like I'm dating Jackson. Due contract. Jackson for three years while me 7 to 10 years. I wish

I flip the pages and found many empty pages until one page. The page contain another paper. I read the page.

I'm going to hospital to do the check up. I hope I'm okay now. After these surgeries.

　　I'm shocked with the fact that, that is the day she got into accident that cause me to be like this. Youngji was on her way to hospital to do a check up. She was diagnose with having cancer. Luckily it is the first stage...1 month ago. Who know which stage she is now. I walk to Youngji's doctor's office. I give him the paper slip. The doctor gasp and quickly rush toward Youngji's room.

"You are her?"

"Uh..husband." I lied.

"Hmm? Wierd, you and her look like some idols." Jackson didn't wear his usual style. This time he wore plain shirt with jeans. He also didn't wear his snapback. He changed a lot didn't he?

"We get that a lot." 

"Well, she is fine for now. However, there is 60/40 chances her cancer be back."

'60 to 40%......She can still get cancer again. It's not just any cancer! It's cancer. Cancer that kills many woman.' He thought to himself.

After a few minutes, I enter the room again. 

"Youngji-ya, jebal.... ireona.. I miss you." Silence filled the room.

"Youngji-ya, I'll be back. I'll be back after my practice okay? Wait for me."

　　The doctor look at Jackson with his most pitiful look. He see how much Jackson love Youngji. The doctor knew Jackson lied, he knew that Jackson and Youngji are idols. From the look of Jackson's eyes, he knew that Jackson love her. At first, the doctor smiled watching both of them in Roommate, because of his daughter. 'Some relationship eh?' The doctor thought. 

I walk out of the room and find all GOT7 members waiting for me.

"What did the doctor said?" Mark ask me.

　　Mark may seem not close to Youngji but all GOT7 are close to Youngji, especially me and Bambam. I just sigh in reply. GOT7 know what I'm trying to say and just pat my shoulders.

"Let's just go." I said.

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Hello! It's Jeenie. I update late eh? sorry, I'm sick, I have fever.  How is this chapter?  not much to say. Any HOTSHOT fan?　I wish I have poster for this fanfic.